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'swifting in' … Well； sir； you shouldn't！
〃Upon your spars I see you've clapped Peak halliard blocks； all iron…
capped。 I would not christen that a crime； But 'twas not done in
RODNEY'S time。 It looks half…witted！ Upon your maintop…stay； I see； You
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
〃And RODNEY； honoured sir； would grin To see you turning deadeyes
in； Not UP； as in the ancient way； But downwards； like a cutter's stay … You
didn't oughter； Besides； in seizing shrouds on board； Breast backstays you
have quite ignored； Great RODNEY kept unto the last Breast backstays on
topgallant mast … They make it tauter。〃
SIR BLENNERHASSET 〃swifted in；〃 Turned deadeyes up； and lent a
fin To strip （as told by JASPER KNOX） The iron capping from his blocks；
Where there was any。 SIR BLENNERHASSET does away； With selvagees
from maintop…stay； And though it makes his sailors stare； He rigs breast
backstays everywhere … In fact； too many。
One morning； when the saucy craft Lay calmed； old JASPER toddled
aft。 〃My mind misgives me； sir； that we Were wrong about that selvagee I
should restore it。〃 〃Good；〃 said the Captain； and that day Restored it to
the maintop…stay。 Well…practised sailors often make A much more serious
mistake； And then ignore it。
Next day old JASPER came once more： 〃I think； sir； I was right
before。〃 Well； up the mast the sailors skipped； The selvagee was soon
unshipped； And all were merry。 Again a day； and JASPER came： 〃I p'r'aps
deserve your honour's blame； I can't make up my mind；〃 said he； 〃About
that cursed selvagee … It's foolish … very。
〃On Monday night I could have sworn That maintop…stay it should
adorn； On Tuesday morning I could swear That selvagee should not be
there。 The knot's a rasper！〃 〃Oh； you be hanged；〃 said CAPTAIN P。； 〃Here；
go ashore at Caribbee。 Get out … good bye … shove off … all right！〃 Old
JASPER soon was out of sight … Farewell； old JASPER！
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
〃COME； collar this bad man … Around the throat he knotted me Till I
to choke began … In point of fact； garotted me！〃
So spake SIR HERBERT WRITE To JAMES； Policeman Thirty…two All
ruffled with his fight SIR HERBERT was； and dirty too。
Policeman nothing said （Though he had much to say on it）； But from
the bad man's head He took the cap that lay on it。
〃No； great SIR HERBERT WHITE … Impossible to take him up。 This
man is honest quite … Wherever did you rake him up？
〃For Burglars； Thieves； and Co。； Indeed； I'm no apologist； But I； some
years ago； Assisted a Phrenologist。
〃Observe his various bumps； His head as I uncover it： His morals lie in
lumps All round about and over it。〃
〃Now take him；〃 said SIR WHITE； 〃Or you will soon be rueing it；
Bless me！ I must be right； … I caught the fellow doing it！〃
Policeman calmly smiled； 〃Indeed you are mistaken； sir； You're
agitated … riled … And very badly shaken； sir。
〃Sit down； and I'll explain My system of Phrenology； A second； please；
remain〃 … （A second is horology）。
Policeman left his beat … （The Bart。； no longer furious； Sat down upon
a seat； Observing； 〃This is curious！〃）
〃Oh； surely； here are signs Should soften your rigidity： This gentleman
combines Politeness with timidity。
〃Of Shyness here's a lump … A hole for Animosity … And like my fist
his bump Of Impecuniosity。
〃Just here the bump appears Of Innocent Hilarity； And just behind his
ears Are Faith； and Hope； and Charity。
He of true Christian ways As bright example sent us is … This maxim
he obeys； 'SORTE TUA CONTENTUS SIS。'
〃There； let him go his ways； He needs no stern admonishing。〃 The
Bart。； in blank amaze； Exclaimed； 〃This is astonishing！
〃I MUST have made a mull； This matter I've been blind in it： Examine；
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
That Crusher looked； and said； With unimpaired urbanity； 〃SIR
HERBERT； you've a head That teems with inhumanity。
〃Here's Murder； Envy； Strife （Propensity to kill any）； And Lies as large
as life； And heaps of Social Villany。
〃Here's Love of Bran…New Clothes； Embezzling … Arson … Deism … A
taste for Slang and Oaths； And Fraudulent Trusteeism。
〃Here's Love of Groundless Charge … Here's Malice； too； and Trickery；
Unusually large Your bump of Pocket…Pickery … 〃
〃Stop！〃 said the Bart。； 〃my cup Is full … I'm worse than him in all；
Policeman； take me up … No doubt I am some criminal！〃
That Pleeceman's scorn grew large （Phrenology had nettled it）； He
took that Bart。 in charge … I don't know how they settled it。
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
ONCE a fairy Light and airy Married with a mortal； Men； however；
Never； never Pass the fairy portal。 Slyly stealing； She to Ealing Made a
daily journey； There she found him； Clients round him （He was an
attorney）。
Long they tarried； Then they married。 When the ceremony Once was
ended； Off they wended On their moon of honey。 Twelvemonth； maybe；
Saw a baby （Friends performed an orgie）。 Much they prized him； And
baptized him By the name of GEORGIE；
GEORGIE grew up； Then he flew up To his fairy mother。 Happy
meeting … Pleasant greeting … Kissing one another。 〃Choose a calling Most
enthralling； I sincerely urge ye。〃 〃Mother；〃 said he （Rev'rence made he）； 〃I
would join the clergy。
〃Give permission In addition … Pa will let me do it： There's a living In
his giving … He'll appoint me to it。 Dreams of coff'ring； Easter off'ring；
Tithe and rent and pew…rate； So inflame me （Do not blame me）； That I'll
be a curate。〃
She； with pleasure； Said； 〃My treasure； 'T is my wish precisely。 Do
your duty； There's a beauty； You have chosen wisely。 Tell your father I
would rather As a churchman rank you。 You； in clover； I'll watch over。〃
GEORGIE said； 〃Oh； thank you！〃
GEORGIE scudded； Went and studied； Made all preparations； And
with credit （Though he said it） Passed examinations。 （Do not quarrel With
him； moral； Scrupulous digestions … 'Twas his mother； And no other；
Answered all the questions。）
Time proceeded； Little needed GEORGIE admonition： He； elated；
Vindicated Clergyman's position。 People round him Always found him
Plain and unpretending； Kindly teaching； Plainly preaching； All his money
lending。
So the fairy； Wise and wary； Felt no sorrow rising … No occasion For
persuasion； Warning； or advising。 He； resuming Fairy pluming （That's not
English； is it？） Oft would fly up； To the sky up； Pay mamma a visit。
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Time progressing； GEORGIE'S blessing Grew more Ritualistic Popish
scandals； Tonsures … sandals … Genuflections mystic； Gushing
meetings … Bosom…beatings … Heavenly ecstatics … Broidered spencers Copes
and censers … Rochets and dalmatics。
This quandary Ve