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that's not MY idea of a wife。 It's the husband's part to please the wife；
not hers to please him； and if he isn't satisfied with her as she is … and
thankful to possess her too … he isn't worthy of her； that's all。 And as for
persuasion； I assure you I shan't trouble myself with that： I've enough to
do to bear with him as he is； without attempting to work a reform。 But
I'm sorry I left you so long alone； Miss Grey。 How have you passed the
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time？'
'Chiefly in watching the rooks。'
'Mercy； how dull you must have been！ I really must show you the
library； and you must ring for everything you want； just as you would in
an inn； and make yourself comfortable。 I have selfish reasons for
wishing to make you happy； because I want you to stay with me； and not
fulfil your horrid threat of running away in a day or two。'
'Well； don't let me keep you out of the drawing…room any longer to…
night； for at present I am tired and wish to go to bed。'
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CHAPTER XXIII … THE PARK
I CAME down a little before eight； next morning； as I knew by the
striking of a distant clock。 There was no appearance of breakfast。 I
waited above an hour before it came； still vainly longing for access to the
library； and； after that lonely repast was concluded； I waited again about
an hour and a half in great suspense and discomfort； uncertain what to do。
At length Lady Ashby came to bid me good…morning。 She informed me
she had only just breakfasted； and now wanted me to take an early walk
with her in the park。 She asked how long I had been up； and on receiving
my answer； expressed the deepest regret； and again promised to show me
the library。 I suggested she had better do so at once； and then there
would be no further trouble either with remembering or forgetting。 She
complied； on condition that I would not think of reading； or bothering with
the books now； for she wanted to show me the gardens； and take a walk in
the park with me； before it became too hot for enjoyment； which； indeed；
was nearly the case already。 Of course I readily assented； and we took
our walk accordingly。
As we were strolling in the park； talking of what my companion had
seen and heard during her travelling experience； a gentleman on horseback
rode up and passed us。 As he turned； in passing； and stared me full in the
face； I had a good opportunity of seeing what he was like。 He was tall；
thin； and wasted； with a slight stoop in the shoulders； a pale face； but
somewhat blotchy； and disagreeably red about the eyelids； plain features；
and a general appearance of languor and flatness； relieved by a sinister
expression in the mouth and the dull； soulless eyes。
'I detest that man！' whispered Lady Ashby； with bitter emphasis； as he
slowly trotted by。
'Who is it？' I asked； unwilling to suppose that she should so speak of
her husband。
'Sir Thomas Ashby；' she replied； with dreary composure。
'And do you DETEST him； Miss Murray？' said I； for I was too much
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shocked to remember her name at the moment。
'Yes； I do； Miss Grey； and despise him too； and if you knew him you
would not blame me。'
'But you knew what he was before you married him。'
'No； I only thought so： I did not half know him really。 I know you
warned me against it； and I wish I had listened to you： but it's too late to
regret that now。 And besides； mamma ought to have known better than
either of us； and she never said anything against it … quite the contrary。
And then I thought he adored me； and would let me have my own way：
he did pretend to do so at first； but now he does not care a bit about me。
Yet I should not care for that： he might do as he pleased； if I might only
be free to amuse myself and to stay in London； or have a few friends down
here： but HE WILL do as he pleases； and I must be a prisoner and a
slave。 The moment he saw I could enjoy myself without him； and that
others knew my value better than himself； the selfish wretch began to
accuse me of coquetry and extravagance； and to abuse Harry Meltham；
whose shoes he was not worthy to clean。 And then he must needs have
me down in the country； to lead the life of a nun； lest I should dishonour
him or bring him to ruin； as if he had not been ten times worse every way；
with his betting…book； and his gaming… table； and his opera…girls； and his
Lady This and Mrs。 That … yes； and his bottles of wine； and glasses of
brandy…and…water too！ Oh； I would give ten thousand worlds to be Mss
Murray again！ It is TOO bad to feel life； health； and beauty wasting
away； unfelt and unenjoyed； for such a brute as that！' exclaimed she； fairly
bursting into tears in the bitterness of her vexation。
Of course； I pitied her exceedingly； as well for her false idea of
happiness and disregard of duty； as for the wretched partner with whom
her fate was linked。 I said what I could to comfort her； and offered such
counsels as I thought she most required： advising her； first； by gentle
reasoning； by kindness； example； and persuasion； to try to ameliorate her
husband； and then； when she had done all she could； if she still found him
incorrigible； to endeavour to abstract herself from him … to wrap herself up
in her own integrity； and trouble herself as little about him as possible。 I
exhorted her to seek consolation in doing her duty to God and man； to put
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her trust in Heaven； and solace herself with the care and nurture of her
little daughter； assuring her she would be amply rewarded by witnessing
its progress in strength and wisdom； and receiving its genuine affection。
'But I can't devote myself entirely to a child；' said she； 'it may die …
which is not at all improbable。'
'But； with care； many