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Habitual associates are known to exercise a great influence over each
other's minds and manners。 Those whose actions are for ever before our
eyes； whose words are ever in our ears； will naturally lead us； albeit
against our will； slowly； gradually； imperceptibly； perhaps； to act and
speak as they do。 I will not presume to say how far this irresistible power
of assimilation extends； but if one civilised man were doomed to pass a
dozen years amid a race of intractable savages； unless he had power to
improve them； I greatly question whether； at the close of that period； he
would not have become； at least； a barbarian himself。 And I； as I could
not make my young companions better； feared exceedingly that they
would make me worse … would gradually bring my feelings； habits；
capacities； to the level of their own； without； however； imparting to me
their lightheartedness and cheerful vivacity。
Already； I seemed to feel my intellect deteriorating； my heart
petrifying； my soul contracting； and I trembled lest my very moral
perceptions should become deadened； my distinctions of right and wrong
confounded； and all my better faculties be sunk； at last； beneath the
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baneful influence of such a mode of life。 The gross vapours of earth
were gathering around me； and closing in upon my inward heaven； and
thus it was that Mr。 Weston rose at length upon me； appearing like the
morning star in my horizon； to save me from the fear of utter darkness；
and I rejoiced that I had now a subject for contemplation that was above
me； not beneath。 I was glad to see that all the world was not made up of
Bloomfields； Murrays； Hatfields； Ashbys； &c。； and that human excellence
was not a mere dream of the imagination。 When we hear a little good
and no harm of a person； it is easy and pleasant to imagine more： in
short； it is needless to analyse all my thoughts； but Sunday was now
become a day of peculiar delight to me （I was now almost broken…in to the
back corner in the carriage）； for I liked to hear him … and I liked to see him；
too； though I knew he was not handsome； or even what is called agreeable；
in outward aspect； but； certainly； he was not ugly。
In stature he was a little； a very little； above the middle size； the
outline of his face would be pronounced too square for beauty； but to me it
announced decision of character； his dark brown hair was not carefully
curled； like Mr。 Hatfield's； but simply brushed aside over a broad white
forehead； the eyebrows； I suppose； were too projecting； but from under
those dark brows there gleamed an eye of singular power； brown in colour；
not large； and somewhat deep…set； but strikingly brilliant； and full of
expression； there was character； too； in the mouth； something that bespoke
a man of firm purpose and an habitual thinker； and when he smiled … but I
will not speak of that yet； for； at the time I mention； I had never seen him
smile： and； indeed； his general appearance did not impress me with the
idea of a man given to such a relaxation； nor of such an individual as the
cottagers described him。 I had early formed my opinion of him； and； in
spite of Miss Murray's objurgations： was fully convinced that he was a
man of strong sense； firm faith； and ardent piety； but thoughtful and stern：
and when I found that； to his other good qualities； was added that of true
benevolence and gentle； considerate kindness； the discovery； perhaps；
delighted me the more； as I had not been prepared to expect it。
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CHAPTER XII … THE SHOWER
THE next visit I paid to Nancy Brown was in the second week in
March： for； though I had many spare minutes during the day； I seldom
could look upon an hour as entirely my own； since； where everything was
left to the caprices of Miss Matilda and her sister； there could be no order
or regularity。 Whatever occupation I chose； when not actually busied
about them or their concerns； I had； as it were； to keep my loins girded；
my shoes on my feet； and my staff in my hand； for not to be immediately
forthcoming when called for； was regarded as a grave and inexcusable
offence： not only by my pupils and their mother； but by the very servant；
who came in breathless haste to call me； exclaiming； 'You're to go to the
schoolroom DIRECTLY； mum； the young ladies is WAITING！！' Climax of
horror！ actually waiting for their governess！！！
But this time I was pretty sure of an hour or two to myself； for Matilda
was preparing for a long ride； and Rosalie was dressing for a dinner…party
at Lady Ashby's： so I took the opportunity of repairing to the widow's
cottage； where I found her in some anxiety about her cat； which had been
absent all day。 I comforted her with as many anecdotes of that animal's
roving propensities as I could recollect。 'I'm feared o' th' gamekeepers；'
said she： 'that's all 'at I think on。 If th' young gentlemen had been at
home； I should a' thought they'd been setting their dogs at her； an' worried
her； poor thing； as they did MANY a poor thing's cat； but I haven't that to
be feared on now。' Nancy's eyes were better； but still far from well： she
had been trying to make a Sunday shirt for her son； but told me she could
only bear to do a little bit at it now and then； so that it progressed but
slowly； though the poor lad wanted it sadly。 So I proposed to help her a
little； after I had read to her； for I had plenty of time that evening； and need
not return till dusk。 She thankfully accepted the offer。 'An' you'll be a
bit o' company for me too； Miss；' said she； 'I like as I feel lonesome
without my cat。' But when I had finished reading； and done the half of a
seam； with Nancy's capacious brass thimble fitted on to my finger by
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