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block and back; always within sight of the house。 Fifth Avenue was
gay with illumination and the prancing of horses returning uptown or
down to the Washington Square district。 In contrast the side
street; with its austere rows of brownstone houses; each with its
area and flight of steps; its spaced gas lamps; its deserted
roadway; seemed very still and quiet。 Carroll was in a tired and
pensive mood。 She held her head back; breathing deeply。
It's only a little strip; but it's the stars;〃 said she; looking up
to the sky between the houses。 〃They're so quiet and calm and big。〃
She seemed to Orde for the first time like a little girl。 The
maturer complexities which we put on with years; with experience;
and with the knowledge of life had for the moment fallen from her;
leaving merely the simple soul of childhood gazing in its eternal
wonder at the stars。 A wave of tenderness lifted Orde from his
feet。 He leaned over; his breath coming quickly。
〃Carroll!〃 he said。
She looked up at him; and shrank back。
〃No; no! You mustn't;〃 she cried。 She did not pretend to
misunderstand。 The preliminaries seemed in some mysterious fashion
to have been said long ago。
〃It's life or death with me;〃 he said。
〃I must not;〃 she cried; fluttering like a bird。 〃I promised myself
long ago that I must always; ALWAYS take care of mother。〃
〃Please; please; dear;〃 pleaded Orde。 He had nothing more to say
than this; just the simple incoherent symbols of pleading; but in
such crises it is rather the soul than the tongue that speaks。 His
hand met hers and closed about it。 It did not respond to his grasp;
nor did it draw away; but lay limp and warm and helpless in his own。
She shook her head slowly。
〃Don't you care for me; dear?〃 asked Orde very gently。
〃I have no right to tell you that;〃 answered she。 〃I have tried;
oh; so hard; to keep you from saying this; for I knew I had no right
to hear you。〃
Orde's heart leaped with a wild exultation。
〃You do care for me!〃 he cried。
They had mounted the steps and stood just within the vestibule。
Orde drew her toward him; but she repulsed him gently。
〃No;〃 she shook her head。 〃Please be very good to me。 I'm very
weak。〃
〃Carroll!〃 cried Orde。 〃Tell me that you love me! Tell me that
you'll marry me!〃
〃It would kill mother if I should leave her;〃 she said sadly。
〃But you must marry me; pleaded Orde。 〃We are made for each other。
God meant us for each other。〃
〃It would have to be after a great many years;〃 she said doubtfully。
She pulled the bell; which jangled faintly in the depths of the
house。
〃Good…night;〃 she said。 〃Come to me to…morrow。 No; you must not
come in。〃 She cut short Orde's insistence and the eloquence that
had just found its life by slipping inside the half…open door and
closing it after her。
Orde stood for a moment uncertain; then turned away and walked up
the street; his eyes so blinded by the greater glory that he all but
ran down an inoffensive passer…by。
At the hotel he wrote a long letter to his mother。 The first part
was full of the exultation of his discovery。 He told of his good
fortune quite as something just born; utterly forgetting his
mother's predictions before he came East。 Then as the first
effervescence died; a more gloomy view of the situation came
uppermost。 To his heated imagination the deadlock seemed complete。
Carroll's devotion to what she considered her duty appeared
unbreakable。 In the reaction Orde doubted whether he would have it
otherwise。 And then his fighting blood surged back to his heart。
All the eloquence; the arguments; the pleadings he should have
commanded earlier in the evening hurried belated to their posts。
After the manner of the young and imaginative when in the white fire
of emotion; he began dramatising scenes between Carroll and himself。
He saw them plainly。 He heard the sound of his own voice as he
rehearsed the arguments which should break her resolution。 A
woman's duty to her own soul; her obligation toward the man she
could make or mar by her love; her self…respect; the necessity of a
break some time; the advantage of having the crisis over with now
rather than later; a belief in the ultimate good even to Mrs。 Bishop
of throwing that lady more on her own resources; and so forth and so
on down a list of arguments obvious enough or trivial enough; but
all inspired by the soul of fervour; all ennobled by the spirit of
truth that lies back of the major premise that a woman should cleave
to a man; forsaking all others。 Orde sat back in his chair; his
eyes vacant; his pen all but falling from his hand。 He did not
finish the letter to his mother。 After a while he went upstairs to
his own room。
The fever of the argument coursed through his veins all that long
night。 Over and over again he rehearsed it in wearisome repetition
until it had assumed a certain and almost invariable form。 And when
he had reached the end of his pleading he began it over again; until
the daylight found him weary and fevered。 He arose and dressed
himself。 He could eat no breakfast。 By a tremendous effort of the
will he restrained himself from going over to Ninth Street until the
middle of the morning。
He entered the drawing…room to find her seated at the piano。 His
heart bounded; and for an instant he stood still; summoning his
forces to the struggle for which he had so painfully gathered his
ammunition。 She did not look up as he approached until he stood
almost at her shoulder。 Then she turned to him and held out both
her hands。
〃It is no use; Jack;〃 she said。 〃I care for you too much。 I will
marry you whenever you say。〃
XIX
Orde left that evening early。 This was at Carroll's request。 She
preferred herself to inform her family of the news。
〃I don't know yet how mother is going to get along;〃 said she。
〃Come back to…morrow afternoon and see them all。〃
The next morning Orde; having at last finished and despatched the
letter to his mother; drifted up the avenue and into the club。 As
he passed the smoking room he caught sight of Gerald seated in an
armchair by the window。 He entered the room and took a seat
opposite the young fellow。
Gerald held out his hand silently; which the other took。
〃I'm glad to hear it;〃 said Gerald at last。 〃Very glad。 I told you
I was on your side。〃 He hesitated; then went on gravely: 〃Poor
Carroll is having a hard time; though。 I think it's worse than she
expected。 It's no worse than I expected。 You are to be one of the
family; so I am going to give you a piece of advice。 It's
something; naturally; I wouldn't speak of otherwise。 But Carroll is
my only sister; and I want her to be happy。 I think you are the man
to make her so; but I want you to avoid one m