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help me learn Chinese！ A great side benefit to learning foreign languages is the love and
respect you get from the native speakers when you set out to learn their language。 You’re
far from an annoying foreigner to them。 They spring to you with joy and gratitude。
The sailors adopted me as their mascot。 We met every afternoon in Bayfront Park
for my daily immersion in conversational Chinese。 A young teenager surrounded by
native speakers and eager to avenge a knockout by a language like Latin learns quickly。
There was something eerie about my rapid progress。 I couldn’t believe I was actually
speaking Chinese with our military allies in the shadow of the American built destroyers
on which they would return to fight in the Far East。 If only Miss Leslie could see me
now！
Naturally my grandparents were disappointed that I didn’t spend much time with
them； but their bitterness was more than assuaged when I bought gangs of my Chinese
sailor friends over to Miami Beach and introduced them to my family。 My grandparents
had the pleasure of introducing me to their friends as “my grandson； the interpreter for
the Chinese navy。”
I exchanged addresses and correspondence with my main Chinese mentor； Fan
Tung…shi； for the next five years。 Sadly； his letters stopped coming when the Chinese
Communists completed their conquest of the Mainland。 （He and I were joyously reunited
exactly forty years later when a Taiwan newspaper interviewed me and asked me how I
learned Chinese。 One of Fan’s friends saw his name in the article。）
That summer； in Will’s Bookstore on South Green Street back in Greensboro； I
walked past the foreign language section and spotted a book entitled Hugo’s Italian
Simplified。 I opened it； and within ten or fifteen seconds the “background music” started
again。
Arrividerci； Latin
Italian； I discovered； was Latin with all the difficulty removed。 Much as a skilled chef
fillets the whole skeleton out of a fish； some friendly folks somewhere had lifted all that
grammar （at least； most of it） out of Latin and called the remainder Italian！
There was no nominative…genitive…dative…accusative in Italian。 Not a trace； except
in a few pronouns which I knew I could easily take prisoner because we had the same
thing in English （me is the accusative of I）。 Italian verbs did misbehave a little； but not to
the psychedelic extent of Latin verbs。 And Italian verbs were a lot easier to look at。
I bought Hugo’s book and went through it like a hot knife through butter。 I could
have conversed in Italian within a month if there’d been anybody around who could have
understood – a learning aid which the Greensboro of that day； alas； could not provide。
I was clearly a beaten boxer on the comeback trail。 Why was I all of a sudden doing
so well in Italian after having done so poorly in Latin？
Was it my almost abnormal motivation？ No。 I’d had that in Latin； too。 Was it that
Italian was a living language you could go someplace some day and actually speak；
whereas Latin was something you could only hope to go on studying？ That’s a little
closer to the mark； but far from the real answer。
My blitz through Italian； after my unsuccessful siege of Latin； owed much to the
fact that in Italian I didn’t miss day four！ I’m convinced that it was day four in ninth
grade Latin that did me in。 No other day’s absence would have derailed me。 When I left
on day three we were bathing in a warm sea of pleasant words。 If only I’d been there on
day four when Miss Leslie explained the importance of grammar； I might have felt a bit
dampened； but I’d have put my head into the book； clapped my hands over my ears； and
mastered it。
After Italian I surged simultaneously into Spanish and French with self study books。
Though by no means fluent in either Spanish or French by summer’s end； I had amassed
an impressive payload of each。 I was ready to stage my come from behind coup。
Regulations in my high school demanded that a student complete two years of Latin
with good grades before continuing with another language。 After that； one could choose
Spanish or French。 I had completed only one year of Latin with poor grades； and I
wanted to take both Spanish and French！
I had not yet learned the apt Spanish proverb that tells us “regulations are for your
enemies。” I learned the concept； however； by living it。
Miss Mitchell was the sole foreign language authority of the high school。 She
taught Spanish and French。 She was considered unbendable – in fact； unapproachable –
in matters of regulation fudging。 I didn’t know that on the first day as classes were
forming。 I’m glad I didn’t。
I went to her classroom and asked if I might talk something over with her。 I told her
I was particularly interested in foreign languages； and even though I’d only had one year
of Latin and didn’t do well in it at all； I’d really like to move into Spanish and French。 If
she could only see her way clear to let me； I’d appreciate it forever and try awfully hard。
She asked if I had a transcript of my grades from Miss Leslie’s Latin class。 No； I
didn’t； I explained； but I had something more to the point。 I’d bought books in Spanish
and French over the summer and gotten a good head start。 I hoped a demonstration of my
zeal would win her favour。
Like a tough agent softening sufficiently to let a persistent unknown comic do part
of his routine； Miss Mitchell invited me to do my stuff。
I conversed； I read； I wrote； I recited； I conjugated； I even sang – first in Spanish；
then in French。 Miss Mitchell gave no outward sign of emotion； but I knew the magic had
worked。
“I’ll have to talk it over with the principal；” she said； “but I don’t think there will be
a problem。 We’ve never had a case anything like this before。 If I can get approval； which
language； Spanish or French； would you like to take？”
In a fit of negotiatory skill I wish would visit me more often； I said； “Please； Miss
Mitchell； let me take both！”
She frowned； but then relented。 I got to take both。
From the ambitious boxer floored early in round one by Latin grammar； I was all of
a sudden the heavyweight language champ of the whole high school！
Ingrid Bergman Made Me Learn Norwegian
I did well in high school Spanish and French。 When you’ve pumped heavy iron； lifting a
salad fork seems easy。 When you’re thrown into a grammar as complex as Latin’s at the
age of fourteen； just about any other language seems easy。 I never quit thanking Spanish；
French； German； Italian； Norwegian； Danish； Swedish； Romanian and Yiddish just for
not being Latin。 I’ve always been particularly grateful to Chinese and Indonesian for
having nothing in their entire languages a Latin student would recognise as grammar。
It was so enjoyable building my knowledge of Spanish； French； Italian and Chinese；
I never thought of taking on any other languages。 Then I saw an Ingrid Bergman movie
and came out in a da