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minutes。
Roll your own rules。 It’s painless。 It’s fun。 It’s character building。 And it rushes you
forward to quicker results。
Profanity and Vulgarity
Forget it。 Whoever uses foul language even in English among people he doesn’t know
well loses standing。 When you go out of your way to use bad language in a foreign
language； it’s much worse。
One night in a blockhouse on the Austrian side of the Hungarian border waiting for
refugees to come across； our all male crowd represented three languages： English；
German； and Hungarian。 A brisk discussion in comparative obscenity broke out and a
fascinating pattern emerged。 Whatever we had three or four dirty words for in English；
German always had sixteen or seventeen and Hungarian never less than thirty…five！
Sure； the other guy’s garbage is fun to know； but it’s tacky； so leave it alone。 It’s all
right to get command of their unacceptable terms for defensive purposes only – so you’ll
know what not to say and be able to exercise caution when using words dangerously
similar to the no…no words。
It’s a good idea to follow Maimonides on this one： “What is lofty may be said in
any language。 What is mean should be said in none。”
Your Second Foreign Language； Your Third； and So On
It’s said that once you master one foreign language； all others come much more easily。
That’s not a myth。 Your first foreign language； in a major way； is the first olive dislodged
from the bottle。 The rest flow obligingly forth。
Moreover； your second foreign language need have no connection to your first。
Chinese will be easier if you’ve first mastered Italian。 Greek will be easier if you’ve
mastered Japanese。 You pick up the principles of how language works with your first
conquest。 I once asked a man who commanded easily a dozen languages how he did it。
“I started out studying languages when I was young；” he said； “and I was just too
lazy to quit！
He was kidding； of course； but a lot of true words are spoken through
exaggerations。
The Right Word
Don’t settle for being merely understood。 Some of the least intelligent and most
unspectacular people on earth can be understood in languages other than their own。 Keep
pressing forward toward perfection。 “He think he’s a big shot” gets the notion across； but
that shouldn’t satisfy the learner of English searching for the word “megalomaniac”。
It’s a marvellous feeling of unfolding and growth when you learn more and more
words that take you closer and closer to the bull’s eye of what you want to express。
Saying It Right
One of the most maddening things about language learning – you’ll encounter it time and
time again – is having the face of the native you’re speaking with suddenly go blank。
You’ve used a word he doesn’t understand。 He asks you to repeat it。 You do。 He still
doesn’t understand。 You repeat it again。 Slower。 Louder。 Finally； in frustration；
desperation； and humiliation； you write the word down or show it to him in your book。
Then he gets it。 “Ahh；” the native speaker says； the black night of your spoken error
suddenly pierced by the flashbulb of print。 And then – here’s the payoff – he proceeds to
repeat exactly what you’ve been saying to him a dozen or so times without his
comprehending！
That syndrome is particularly prevalent in Chinese； though you risk it in every
language。 Be a sport。 Eat crow。 And even though you’re far from the mood at that
moment； try to catch something in what he says that’s at least slightly different from what
you’ve been saying。 If the next native speaker understands your revised pronunciation
without an argument； then that crow you were forced to eat will retroactively taste like
pheasant！
Every language student has good days and bad days with the language for no
apparent reason。 On bad days you can’t seem to unleash a simple greeting without
monumental phumphering。 On good days you actually feel supernaturally propelled。 A
rising tide lifts all boats。 Keep working。 The bad days as well as the good days will both
be better。
To Speak or Not to Speak
Be neither too boorish nor too reticent with your new knowledge。 Don’t go barrelling in
with scant command of a language if doing so causes ungainly delays in a busy
restaurant。 Neither should you let shyness deny you a good opportunity to send a few
volleys of conversation across the net。
Don’t be like the beginner who took his party into a French restaurant in New York
and insisted on trying to order for everybody in French。 The waiter； himself French；
quickly abandoning any hope of understanding the poor wretch； pulled a diplomatic coup
worthy of a medal and a kiss on both cheeks。
“I’m sorry；” he said； with an accent French enough to draw the truffles up out of the
underbrush of Alsace； “I don’t speak French。”
“You don’t speak French！” thundered the hapless showoff。
“Non； monsieur；” said the waiter。
“Well； then；” said he； “send me somebody who does！”
Speaking of Peace
Does knowledge of other languages lead to peace？ One witness says “No。 Knowing the
other guy’s language merely enables you to get into more arguments of greater depth and
intensity。” Another witness says； “Of course； language knowledge breeds peace。 How
could I pull a trigger and shoot a man when what I really want is a chance to sit down
with him and learn his irregular verbs？” Put me solidly in the latter category。 It’s
impossible to learn a language and not learn a great deal about the country and its people；
and usually those who learn about a country and its people develop a certain empathy and
advocacy for that nation。
When Serb fights Croat in Yugoslavia； I don’t ignore it。 Neither do I choose sides。
They were both so helpful to me when I was learning Serbo…Croatian。 I want them all to
work together and get along。
A little knowledge of a language； then of a people； can convert even a rabid partisan
into a one man peace movement！
Keep Learning
Stay with it。 Keep pressing ahead with all of the tools in all of the ways suggested； plus
whatever other ways you discover en route that seem to work for you。 Keep pursuing
opportunities to use what you learn； not just in exercises and self simulation； but in
genuine； real life conversation； reading； writing and comprehension。
When will you “arrive”？ When will you no longer “be studying” but “have learned”
the language？
Never！ At least； pretend never。 Your linguistic infancy will lead to babyhood；
childhood； adolescence； young adulthood； and so on。 Your fragments of knowledge will
lead to competence。 Your competence will lead to fluency。 Your fluency will intensify to
higher and higher levels of fluency。
The best attitude； however； is that your attempt to master the foreign language
should remain perpetually unfinished business。
You’ll succeed if you make sure you ne