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cutlasses and carbines； arrayed in vengeful order above one of the
official chimney…pieces； and over that respectable tradition never
to be separated from a place of business claiming to be wealthy—a
row of fire…buckets—vessels calculated to be of no physical utility
on any occasion； but observed to exercise a fine moral influence；
almost equal to bullion； on most beholders。
A deaf serving…woman and the light porter completed Mrs
Sparsit’s empire。 The deaf serving…woman was rumoured to be
wealthy； and a saying had for years gone about among the lower
orders of Coketown； that she would be murdered some night when
the Bank was shut； for the sake of her money。 It was generally
considered； indeed； that she had been due some time； and ought to
have fallen long ago； but she had kept her life； and her situation；
with an ill…conditioned tenacity that occasioned much offence and
disappointment。
Mrs Sparsit’s tea was just set for her on a pert little table； with
its tripod of legs in an attitude； which she insinuated after office…
hours； into the company of the stern； leathern…topped； long board…
table that bestrode the middle of the room。 The light porter placed
the tea…tray on it； knuckling his forehead as a form of homage。
“Thank you； Bitzer；” said Mrs Sparsit。
“Thank you； ma’am；” returned the light porter。 He was a very
light porter indeed； as light as in the days when he blinkingly
defined a horse； for girl number twenty。
“All is shut up； Bitzer？” said Mrs Sparsit。
“All is shut up； ma’am。”
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“And what；” said Mrs Sparsit； pouring out her tea； “is the news
of the day？ Anything？”
“Well； ma’am； I can’t say that I have heard anything particular。
Our people are a bad lot； ma’am； but that is no news；
unfortunately。 “
“What are the restless wretches doing now？” asked Mrs
Sparsit。
“Merely going on in the old way； ma’am。 Uniting； and leaguing；
and engaging to stand by one another。”
“It is much to be regretted；” said Mrs Sparsit； making her nose
more Roman and her eyebrows more Coriolanian in the strength
of her severity； “that the united masters allow of any such class…
combinations。”
“Yes； ma’am；” said Bitzer。
“Being united themselves； they ought one and all to set their
faces against employing any man who is united with any other
man；” said Mrs Sparsit。
“They have done that； ma’am；” returned Bitzer； “but it rather
fell through； ma’am。”
“I do not pretend to understand these things；” said Mrs Sparsit；
with dignity； “my lot having been originally cast in a widely
different sphere； and Mr Sparsit； as a Powler； being also quite out
of the pale of any such dissensions。 I only know that these people
must be conquered； and that it’s high time it was done； once for
all。”
“Yes； ma’am；” returned Bitzer； with a demonstration of great
respect for Mrs Sparsit’s oracular authority。 “You couldn’t put it
clearer； I am sure； ma’am。”
As this was his usual hour for having a little confidential chat
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Hard Times 150
with Mrs Sparsit； and as he had already caught her eye and seen
that she was going to ask him something； he made a pretence of
arranging the rulers； inkstands； and so forth； while that lady went
on with her tea； glancing through the open window down into the
street。
“Has it been a busy day； Bitzer？” asked Mrs Sparsit。
“Not a very busy day； my lady。 About an average day。” He now
and then slided into my lady； instead of ma’am； as an involuntary
acknowledgement of Mrs Sparsit’s personal dignity and claims to
reverence。
“The clerks；” said Mrs Sparsit； carefully brushing an
imperceptible crumb of bread and butter from her left…hand
mitten； “are trustworthy； punctual； and industrious； of course？”
“Yes； ma’am； pretty fair； ma’am。 With the usual exception。”
He held the respectable office of general spy and informer in
the establishment； for which volunteer service he received a
present at Christmas； over and above his weekly wage。 He had
grown into an extremely clear…headed； cautious； prudent young
man； who was safe to rise in the world。 His mind was so exactly
regulated； that he had no affections or passions。 All his
proceedings were the result of the nicest and coldest calculation；
and it was not without cause that Mrs Sparsit habitually observed
of him； that he was a young man of the steadiest principle she had
ever known。 Having satisfied himself； on his father’s death； that
his mother had a right of settlement in Coketown； this excellent
young economist had asserted that right for her with such a
steadfast adherence to the principle of the case； that she had been
shut up in the workhouse ever since。 It must be admitted that he
allowed her half a pound of tea a year； which was weak in him：
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first； because all gifts have an inevitable tendency to pauperise the
recipient； and secondly； because his only reasonable transaction in
that commodity would have been to buy it for as little as he could
possibly give； and sell it for as much as he could possibly get； it
having been clearly ascertained by philosophers that in this is
comprised the whole duty of man—not a part of man’s duty； but
the whole。
“Pretty fair； ma’am。 With the usual exception； ma’am；”
repeated Bitzer。
“Ah—h！” said Mrs Sparsit； shaking her head over her teacup；
and taking a long gulp。
“Mr Thomas； ma’am； I doubt Mr Thomas very much； ma’am； I
don’t like his ways at all。”
“Bitzer；” said Mrs Sparsit； in a very impressive manner； “do
you recollect my having said anything to