按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
It is one of the chief charms of the summer； to my mind； the way our
little maids come out in pretty colors。 I like to see the pink and blue and
white glancing between the trees； dotting the green fields； and flashing
back the sunlight。 You can see the bright colors such a long way off。 There
are four white dresses climbing a hill in front of my window now。 I can
see them distinctly； though it is three miles away。 I thought at first they
were mile…stones out for a lark。 It's so nice to be able to see the darlings a
long way off。 Especially if they happen to be your wife and your mother…
in…law。
Talking of fields and mile…stones reminds me that I want to say； in all
seriousness； a few words about women's boots。 The women of these
islands all wear boots too big for them。 They can never get a boot to fit。
The bootmakers do not keep sizes small enough。
Over and over again have I known women sit down on the top rail of a
stile and declare they could not go a step further because their boots hurt
them so； and it has always been the same complainttoo big。
It is time this state of things was altered。 In the name of the husbands
and fathers of England； I call upon the bootmakers to reform。 Our wives；
our daughters； and our cousins are not to be lamed and tortured with
impunity。 Why cannot 〃narrow twos〃 be kept more in stock？ That is the
size I find most women take。
The waist…band is another item of feminine apparel that is always too
big。 The dressmakers make these things so loose that the hooks and eyes
by which they are fastened burst off； every now and then； with a report
like thunder。
Why women suffer these wrongswhy they do not insist in having
their clothes made small enough for them I cannot conceive。 It can hardly
be that they are disinclined to trouble themselves about matters of mere
dress； for dress is the one subject that they really do think about。 It is the
only topic they ever get thoroughly interested in； and they talk about it all
day long。 If you see two women together； you may bet your bottom dollar
they are discussing their own or their friends' clothes。 You notice a couple
of child…like beings conversing by a window； and you wonder what sweet；
helpful words are falling from their sainted lips。 So you move nearer and
92
… Page 93…
THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
then you hear one say：
〃So I took in the waist…band and let out a seam； and it fits beautifully
now。〃
〃Well；〃 says the other； 〃I shall wear my plum…colored body to the
Jones'； with a yellow plastron； and they've got some lovely gloves at
Puttick's； only one and eleven pence。〃
I went for a drive through a part of Derbyshire once with a couple of
ladies。 It was a beautiful bit of country； and they enjoyed themselves
immensely。 They talked dressmaking the whole time。
〃Pretty view； that；〃 I would say； waving my umbrella round。 〃Look at
those blue distant hills！ That little white speck； nestling in the woods； is
Chatsworth； and over there〃
〃Yes； very pretty indeed；〃 one would reply。 〃Well； why not get a yard
of sarsenet？〃
〃What； and leave the skirt exactly as it is？〃
〃Certainly。 What place d'ye call this？〃
Then I would draw their attention to the fresh beauties that kept
sweeping into view； and they would glance round and say 〃charming；〃
〃sweetly pretty；〃 and immediately go off into raptures over each other's
pocket…handkerchiefs； and mourn with one another over the decadence of
cambric frilling。
I believe if two women were cast together upon a desert island； they
would spend each day arguing the respective merits of sea…shells and
birds' eggs considered as trimmings； and would have a new fashion in fig…
leaves every month。
Very young men think a good deal about clothes； but they don't talk
about them to each other。 They would not find much encouragement。 A
fop is not a favorite with his own sex。 Indeed； he gets a good deal more
abuse from them than is necessary。 His is a harmless failing and it soon
wears out。 Besides； a man who has no foppery at twenty will be a
slatternly； dirty…collar； unbrushed…coat man at forty。 A little foppishness in
a young man is good； it is human。 I like to see a young cock ruffle his
feathers； stretch his neck； and crow as if the whole world belonged to him。
I don't like a modest； retiring man。 Nobody doesnot really； however
93
… Page 94…
THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
much they may prate about modest worth and other things they do not
understand。
A meek deportment is a great mistake in the world。 Uriah Heap's father
was a very poor judge of human nature； or he would not have told his son；
as he did； that people liked humbleness。 There is nothing annoys them
more； as a rule。 Rows are half the fun of life； and you can't have rows with
humble； meek…answering individuals。 They turn away our wrath； and that
is just what we do not want。 We want to let it out。 We have worked
ourselves up into a state of exhilarating fury； and then just as we are
anticipating the enjoyment of a vigorous set…to； they spoil all our plans
with their exasperating humility。
Xantippe's life must have been one long misery； tied to that calmly
irritating man； Socrates。 Fancy a married woman doomed to live on from
day to day without one single quarrel with her husband！ A man ought to
humor his wife in these things。
Heaven knows their lives are dull enough； poor girls。 They have none
of the enjoyments we have。 They go to no political meetings； they may not
even belong to the local amateur parliament； they are excluded from
smoking…carriages on the Metropolitan Railway； and they never see a
comic paperor if they do； they do not know it is comic： nobody tells
them。
Surely； with existence such a dreary blank for them as this； we might
provide a little row for their amusement now and then； even if we do not
feel inclined for it ourselves。 A really sensible man does so and is loved
accordingly； for it is little acts of kindness such as this that go straight to a
woman's heart。 It is such like proofs of loving self…