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hardly noticeable。
I am glad it is not。 It used to be extremely prominent at one time； and
was the cause of much misery to myself and discomfort to every one about
memy lady friends especially complained most bitterly about it。
A shy man's lot is not a happy one。 The men dislike him； the women
despise him； and he dislikes and despises himself。 Use brings him no relief；
and there is no cure for him except time； though I once came across a
delicious recipe for overcoming the misfortune。 It appeared among the
〃answers to correspondents〃 in a small weekly journal and ran as follows
I have never forgotten it： 〃Adopt an easy and pleasing manner； especially
toward ladies。〃
Poor wretch！ I can imagine the grin with which he must have read that
advice。 〃Adopt an easy and pleasing manner； especially toward ladies；〃
forsooth！ Don't you adopt anything of the kind； my dear young shy friend。
Your attempt to put on any other disposition than your own will infallibly
result in your becoming ridiculously gushing and offensively familiar。 Be
your own natural self； and then you will only be thought to be surly and
stupid。
The shy man does have some slight revenge upon society for the
torture it inflicts upon him。 He is able； to a certain extent； to communicate
his misery。 He frightens other people as much as they frighten him。 He
acts like a damper upon the whole room； and the most jovial spirits
become in his presence depressed and nervous。
This is a good deal brought about by misunderstanding。 Many people
mistake the shy man's timidity for overbearing arrogance and are awed
and insulted by it。 His awkwardness is resented as insolent carelessness；
and when； terror…stricken at the first word addressed to him； the blood
rushes to his head and the power of speech completely fails him； he is
regarded as an awful example of the evil effects of giving way to passion。
But； indeed； to be misunderstood is the shy man's fate on every
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THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
occasion； and whatever impression he endeavors to create； he is sure to
convey its opposite。 When he makes a joke； it is looked upon as a
pretended relation of fact and his want of veracity much condemned。 His
sarcasm is accepted as his literal opinion and gains for him the reputation
of being an ass； while if； on the other hand； wishing to ingratiate himself；
he ventures upon a little bit of flattery； it is taken for satire and he is hated
ever afterward。
These and the rest of a shy man's troubles are always very amusing to
other people； and have afforded material for comic writing from time
immemorial。 But if we look a little deeper we shall find there is a pathetic；
one might almost say a tragic； side to the picture。 A shy man means a
lonely mana man cut off from all companionship； all sociability。 He
moves about the world； but does not mix with it。 Between him and his
fellow…men there runs ever an impassable barriera strong； invisible wall
that； trying in vain to scale； he but bruises himself against。 He sees the
pleasant faces and hears the pleasant voices on the other side； but he
cannot stretch his hand across to grasp another hand。 He stands watching
the merry groups； and he longs to speak and to claim kindred with them。
But they pass him by； chatting gayly to one another； and he cannot stay
them。 He tries to reach them； but his prison walls move with him and hem
him in on every side。 In the busy street； in the crowded room； in the grind
of work； in the whirl of pleasure； amid the many or amid the few
wherever men congregate together； wherever the music of human speech
is heard and human thought is flashed from human eyes； there； shunned
and solitary； the shy man； like a leper； stands apart。 His soul is full of love
and longing； but the world knows it not。 The iron mask of shyness is
riveted before his face； and the man beneath is never seen。 Genial words
and hearty greetings are ever rising to his lips； but they die away in
unheard whispers behind the steel clamps。 His heart aches for the weary
brother； but his sympathy is dumb。 Contempt and indignation against
wrong choke up his throat； and finding no safety…valve whence in
passionate utterance they may burst forth； they only turn in again and
harm him。 All the hate and scorn and love of a deep nature such as the shy
man is ever cursed by fester and corrupt within； instead of spending
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THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
themselves abroad； and sour him into a misanthrope and cynic。
Yes； shy men； like ugly women； have a bad time of it in this world； to
go through which with any comfort needs the hide of a rhinoceros。 Thick
skin is； indeed； our moral clothes； and without it we are not fit to be seen
about in civilized society。 A poor gasping； blushing creature； with
trembling knees and twitching hands； is a painful sight to every one； and if
it cannot cure itself； the sooner it goes and hangs itself the better。
The disease can be cured。 For the comfort of the shy； I can assure them
of that from personal experience。 I do not like speaking about myself； as
may have been noticed； but in the cause of humanity I on this occasion
will do so； and will confess that at one time I was； as the young man in the
Bab Ballad says； 〃the shyest of the shy；〃 and 〃whenever I was introduced
to any pretty maid； my knees they knocked together just as if I was
afraid。〃 Now； I wouldnay； haveon this very day before yesterday I did
the deed。 Alone and entirely by myself （as the school…boy said in
translating the 〃Bellum Gallicum〃） did I beard a railway refreshment…
room young lady in her own lair。 I rebuked her in terms of mingled
bitterness and sorrow for her callousness and want of condescension。 I
insisted； courteously but firmly； on being accorded that deference and
attention that was the right of the traveling Briton； and at the end I looked
her full in the face。 Need I say more？