the innocence of father brown-第24章

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　bad　clothes　that　were　just　too　good　for　them。　　Even　these　wretched　young　rotters　were　not　very　common　at　our　house；　but　there　were　two　of　them　that　were　a　lot　too　commoncommon　in　every　sort　of　way。　　They　both　lived　on　money　of　their　own；　and　were　wearisomely　idle　and　over…dressed。　　But　yet　I　was　a　bit　sorry　for　them；　because　I　half　believe　they　slunk　into　our　little　empty　bar　because　each　of　them　had　a　slight　deformity；　the　sort　of　thing　that　some　yokels　laugh　at。　　It　wasn't　exactly　a　deformity　either；　it　was　more　an　oddity。　　One　of　them　was　a　surprisingly　small　man；　something　like　a　dwarf；　or　at　least　like　a　jockey。　　He　was　not　at　all　jockeyish　to　look　at；　though；　he　had　a　round　black　head　and　a　well…trimmed　black　beard；　bright　eyes　like　a　bird's；　he　jingled　money　in　his　pockets；　he　jangled　a　great　gold　watch　chain；　and　he　never　turned　up　except　dressed　just　too　much　like　a　gentleman　to　be　one。　　He　was　no　fool　though；　though　a　futile　idler；　he　was　curiously　clever　at　all　kinds　of　things　that　couldn't　be　the　slightest　use；　a　sort　of　impromptu　conjuring；　making　fifteen　matches　set　fire　to　each　other　like　a　regular　firework；　or　cutting　a　banana　or　some　such　thing　into　a　dancing　doll。　　His　name　was　Isidore　Smythe；　and　I　can　see　him　still；　with　his　little　dark　face；　just　coming　up　to　the　counter；　making　a　jumping　kangaroo　out　of　five　cigars。　　　　　〃The　other　fellow　was　more　silent　and　more　ordinary；　but　somehow　he　alarmed　me　much　more　than　poor　little　Smythe。　　He　was　very　tall　and　slight；　and　light…haired；　his　nose　had　a　high　bridge；　and　he　might　almost　have　been　handsome　in　a　spectral　sort　of　way；　but　he　had　one　of　the　most　appalling　squints　I　have　ever　seen　or　heard　of。　　When　he　looked　straight　at　you；　you　didn't　know　where　you　were　yourself；　let　alone　what　he　was　looking　at。　　I　fancy　this　sort　of　disfigurement　embittered　the　poor　chap　a　little；　for　while　Smythe　was　ready　to　show　off　his　monkey　tricks　anywhere；　James　Welkin　（that　was　the　squinting　man's　name）　never　did　anything　except　soak　in　our　bar　parlour；　and　go　for　great　walks　by　himself　in　the　flat；　grey　country　all　round。　　All　the　same；　I　think　Smythe；　too；　was　a　little　sensitive　about　being　so　small；　though　he　carried　it　off　more　smartly。　　And　so　it　was　that　I　was　really　puzzled；　as　well　as　startled；　and　very　sorry；　when　they　both　offered　to　marry　me　in　the　same　week。　　　　　〃Well；　I　did　what　I've　since　thought　was　perhaps　a　silly　thing。　But；　after　all；　these　freaks　were　my　friends　in　a　way；　and　I　had　a　horror　of　their　thinking　I　refused　them　for　the　real　reason；　which　was　that　they　were　so　impossibly　ugly。　　So　I　made　up　some　gas　of　another　sort；　about　never　meaning　to　marry　anyone　who　hadn't　carved　his　way　in　the　world。　　I　said　it　was　a　point　of　principle　with　me　not　to　live　on　money　that　was　just　inherited　like　theirs。　Two　days　after　I　had　talked　in　this　well…meaning　sort　of　way；　the　whole　trouble　began。　　The　first　thing　I　heard　was　that　both　of　them　had　gone　off　to　seek　their　fortunes；　as　if　they　were　in　some　silly　fairy　tale。　　　　　〃Well；　I've　never　seen　either　of　them　from　that　day　to　this。　But　I've　had　two　letters　from　the　little　man　called　Smythe；　and　really　they　were　rather　exciting。〃　　　　　〃Ever　heard　of　the　other　man？〃　asked　Angus。　　　　　〃No；　he　never　wrote；〃　said　the　girl；　after　an　instant's　hesitation。　　〃Smythe's　first　letter　was　simply　to　say　that　he　had　started　out　walking　with　Welkin　to　London；　but　Welkin　was　such　a　good　walker　that　the　little　man　dropped　out　of　it；　and　took　a　rest　by　the　roadside。　　He　happened　to　be　picked　up　by　some　travelling　show；　and；　partly　because　he　was　nearly　a　dwarf；　and　partly　because　he　was　really　a　clever　little　wretch；　he　got　on　quite　well　in　the　show　business；　and　was　soon　sent　up　to　the　Aquarium；　to　do　some　tricks　that　I　forget。　　That　was　his　first　letter。　　His　second　was　much　more　of　a　startler；　and　I　only　got　it　last　week。〃　　　　　The　man　called　Angus　emptied　his　coffee…cup　and　regarded　her　with　mild　and　patient　eyes。　　Her　own　mouth　took　a　slight　twist　of　laughter　as　she　resumed；　〃I　suppose　you've　seen　on　the　hoardings　all　about　this　‘Smythe's　Silent　Service'？　　Or　you　must　be　the　only　person　that　hasn't。　　Oh；　I　don't　know　much　about　it；　it's　some　clockwork　invention　for　doing　all　the　housework　by　machinery。　　You　know　the　sort　of　thing：　‘Press　a　ButtonA　Butler　who　Never　Drinks。'　　‘Turn　a　HandleTen　Housemaids　who　Never　Flirt。'　　You　must　have　seen　the　advertisements。　　Well；　whatever　these　machines　are；　they　are　making　pots　of　money；　and　they　are　making　it　all　for　that　little　imp　whom　I　knew　down　in　Ludbury。　　I　can't　help　feeling　pleased　the　poor　little　chap　has　fallen　on　his　feet；　but　the　plain　fact　is；　I'm　in　terror　of　his　turning　up　any　minute　and　telling　me　he's　carved　his　way　in　the　world　as　he　certainly　has。〃　　　　　〃And　the　other　man？〃　repeated　Angus　with　a　sort　of　obstinate　quietude。　　　　　Laura　Hope　got　to　her　feet　suddenly。　　〃My　friend；〃　she　said；　〃I　think　you　are　a　witch。　　Yes；　you　are　quite　right。　　I　have　not　seen　a　line　of　the　other　man's　writing；　and　I　have　no　more　notion　than　the　dead　of　what　or　where　he　is。　　But　it　is　of　him　that　I　am　frightened。　　It　is　he　who　is　all　about　my　path。　　It　is　he　who　has　half　driven　me　mad。　　Indeed；　I　think　he　has　driven　me　mad；　for　I　have　felt　him　where　he　could　not　have　been；　and　I　have　heard　his　voice　when　he　could　not　have　spoken。〃　　　　　〃Well；　my　dear；〃　said　the　young　man；　cheerfully；　〃if　he　were　Satan　himself；　he　is　done　for　now　you　have　told　somebody。　　One　goes　mad　all　alone；　old　girl。　　But　when　was　it　you　fancied　you　felt　and　heard　our　squinting　friend？〃　　　　　〃I　heard　James　Welkin　laugh　as　plainly　as　I　hear　you　speak；〃　said　the　girl；　steadily。　　〃There　was　nobody　there；　for　I　stood　just　outside　the　shop　at　the　corner；　and　could　see　down　both　streets　at　once。　　I　had　forgotten　how　he　laughed；　though　his　laugh　was　as　odd　as　his　squint。　　I　had　not　thought　of　him　for　nearly　a　year。　　But　it's　a　solemn　truth　that　a　few　seconds　later　the　first　letter　came　from　his　rival。〃　　　　　〃Did　you　ever　make　the　spectre　speak　or　squeak；　or　anything？〃　asked　Angus；　with　some　interest。　　　　　Laura　suddenly　shuddered；　and　then　said；　with　an　unshaken　voice；　〃Yes。　　Just　when　I　had　finished　reading　the　second　letter　from　Isidore　Smythe　announcing　his　success。　　Just　then；　I　heard　Welkin　say；　‘He　shan't　have　you；　though。'　　It　was　quite　plain；　as　if　he　were　in　the　room。　　It　is　awful；　I　think　I　must　be　mad。〃　　　　　〃If　you　really　were　mad；〃　said　the　young　man；　〃you　would　think　you　must　be　sane。　　But　certainly　there　seems　to　me　to　be　something　a　little　rum　about　this　unseen　gentleman。　　Two　heads　are　better　than　oneI　spare　you　allusions　to　any　other　organs　and　really；　if　you　would　allow　me；　as　a　sturdy；　practical　man；　to　bring　back　the　wedding…cake　out　of　the　window〃　　　　　Even　as　he　spoke；　there　was　a　sort　of　steely　shriek　in　the　street　outside；　and　a　small　motor；　driven　at　devilish　speed；　shot　up　to　the　door　of　the　shop　and　stuck　there。　　In　the　same　flash　of　time　a　small　man　in　a　shiny　top　hat　stood　stamping　in　the　outer　room。　　　　　Angus；　who　had　hitherto　maintained　hilarious　ease　from　motives　of　mental　hygiene；　revealed　the　strain　of　his　soul　by　striding　abruptly　out　of　the　inner　room　and　confronting　the　new…comer。　　A　glance　at　him　was　qu