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following Sunday； and to play again。 I told him that I would
invite some of my acquaintances； lovers of his art； to hear him。
〃Two or three days later I was entering my house； in conversation
with a friend； when in the hall I suddenly felt something as
heavy as a stone weighing on my heart； and I could not account
for it。 And it was this； it was this： in passing through the
hall； I had noticed something which reminded me of HIM。 Not
until I reached my study did I realize what it was； and I
returned to the hall to verify my conjecture。 Yes； I was not
mistaken。 It was his overcoat （everything that belonged to him；
I； without realizing it； had observed with extraordinary
attention）。 I questioned the servant。 That was it。 He had come。
I passed near the parlor； through my children's study…room。
Lise； my daughter； was sitting before a book； and the old nurse；
with my youngest child； was beside the table； turning the cover
of something or other。 In the parlor I heard a slow arpeggio；
and his voice； deadened； and a denial from her。 She said： 'No；
no！ There is something else！' And it seemed to me that some one
was purposely deadening the words by the aid of the piano。
〃My God！ How my heart leaped！ What were my imaginations！ When
I remember the beast that lived in me at that moment； I am seized
with fright。 My heart was first compressed； then stopped； and
then began to beat like a hammer。 The principal feeling； as in
every bad feeling； was pity for myself。 'Before the children；
before the old nurse；' thought I； 'she dishonors me。 I will go
away。 I can endure it no longer。 God knows what I should do if。
。 。 。 But I must go in。'
The old nurse raised her eyes to mine； as if she understood； and
advised me to keep a sharp watch。 'I must go in；' I said to
myself； and； without knowing what I did； I opened the door。 He
was sitting at the piano and making arpeggios with his long；
white； curved fingers。 She was standing in the angle of the
grand piano； before the open score。 She saw or heard me first；
and raised her eyes to mine。 Was she stunned； was she pretending
not to be frightened； or was she really not frightened at all？
In
any case； she did not tremble； she did not stir。 She blushed； but
only a little later。
〃'How glad I am that you have come！ We have not decided what we
will play Sunday；' said she； in a tone that she would not have
had if she had been alone with me。
〃This tone； and the way in which she said 'we' in speaking of
herself and of him； revolted me。 I saluted him silently。 He
shook hands with me directly； with a smile that seemed to me full
of mockery。 He explained to me that he had brought some scores；
in order to prepare for the Sunday concert； and that they were
not in accord as to the piece to choose；whether difficult；
classic things； notably a sonata by Beethoven； or lighter pieces。
And as he spoke； he looked at me。 It was all so natural； so
simple； that there was absolutely nothing to be said against it。
And at the same time I saw； I was sure； that it was false； that
they were in a conspiracy to deceive me。
〃One of the most torturing situations for the jealous （and in our
social life everybody is jealous） are those social conditions
which allow a very great and dangerous intimacy between a man and
a woman under certain pretexts。 One must make himself the
laughing stock of everybody； if he desires to prevent
associations in the ball…room； the intimacy of doctors with their
patients； the familiarity of art occupations； and especially of
music。 In order that people may occupy themselves together with
the noblest art； music； a certain intimacy is necessary； in which
there is nothing blameworthy。 Only a jealous fool of a husband
can have anything to say against it。 A husband should not have
such thoughts； and especially should not thrust his nose into
these affairs； or prevent them。 And yet； everybody knows that
precisely in these occupations； especially in music； many
adulteries originate in our society。
〃I had evidently embarrassed them； because for some time I was
unable to say anything。 I was like a bottle suddenly turned
upside down； from which the water does not run because it is too
full。 I wanted to insult the man； and to drive him away； but I
could do nothing of the kind。 On the contrary； I felt that I was
disturbing them； and that it was my fault。 I made a presence of
approving everything； this time also； thanks to that strange
feeling that forced me to treat him the more amiably in
proportion as his presence was more painful to me。 I said that I
trusted to his taste； and I advised my wife to do the same。 He
remained just as long as it was necessary in order to efface the
unpleasant impression of my abrupt entrance with a frightened
face。 He went away with an air of satisfaction at the
conclusions arrived at。 As for me； I was perfectly sure that； in
comparison with that which preoccupied them； the question of
music was indifferent to them。 I accompanied him with especial
courtesy to the hall （how can one help accompanying a man who has
come to disturb your tranquillity and ruin the happiness of the
entire family？）； and I shook his white； soft hand with fervent
amiability。
CHAPTER XXII。
〃All that day I did not speak to my wife。 I could not。 Her
proximity excited such hatred that I feared myself。 At the table
she asked me； in presence of the children； when I was to start
upon a journey。 I was to go the following week to an assembly of
the Zemstvo； in a neighboring locality。 I named the date。 She
asked me if I would need anything for the journey。 I did not
answer。 I sat silent at the table； and silently I retired to my
study。 In those last days she never entered my study； especially
at that hour。 Suddenly I heard her steps； her walk； and then a
terribly base idea entered my head that； like the wife of Uri；
she wished to conceal a fault already committed； and that it was
for this reason that she came to see me at this unseasonable
hour。 'Is it possible；' thought I； 'that she is coming to see
me？' On hearing her step as it approached： 'If it is to see me
that she is coming； then I am right。'
〃An inexpressible hatred invaded my soul。 The steps drew nearer；
and nearer； and nearer yet。 Would she pass by and go on to the
other room？ No； the hinges creaked； and at the door her tall；
graceful； languid figure appeared。 In her face； in her eyes； a
timidity； an insinuating expression； which she tried to hide； but
which I saw； and of which I understood the meaning。 I came near
suffocating； such were my efforts to hold my breath； and；
continuing to look at her； I took my cigarette； and lighted it。
〃'What does this mean？ One comes to talk with you； and you go to
smoking。'
〃And she sat down beside me on the sofa； resting against my
shoulder。 I recoiled； that I might not touch h