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came。 The man was bad； it is true。 But what！ No worse than we
were。
CHAPTER XXI。
〃When we moved to Moscow； this gentlemanhis name was
Troukhatchevskycame to my house。 It was in the morning。 I
received him。 In former times we had been very familiar。 He
tried； by various advances； to re…establish the familiarity； but
I was determined to keep him at a distance； and soon he gave it
up。 He displeased me extremely。 At the first glance I saw that
he was a filthy debauche。 I was jealous of him； even before he
had seen my wife。 But； strange thing！ some occult fatal power
kept me from repulsing him and sending him away； and； on the
contrary； induced me to suffer this approach。 What could have
been simpler than to talk with him a few minutes； and then
dismiss him coldly without introducing him to my wife？ But no； as
if on purpose； I turned the conversation upon his skill as a
violinist； and he answered that； contrary to what I had heard； he
now played the violin more than formerly。 He remembered that I
used to play。 I answered that I had abandoned music； but that my
wife played very well。
〃Singular thing！ Why； in the important events of our life； in
those in which a man's fate is decided；as mine was decided in
that moment；why in these events is there neither a past nor a
future？ My relations with Troukhatchevsky the first day； at the
first hour； were such as they might still have been after all
that has happened。 I was conscious that some frightful
misfortune must result from the presence of this man； and； in
spite of that； I could not help being amiable to him。 I
introduced him to my wife。 She was pleased with him。 In the
beginning； I suppose； because of the pleasure of the violin
playing； which she adored。 She had even hired for that purpose a
violinist from the theatre。 But when she cast a glance at me；
she understood my feelings； and concealed her impression。 Then
began the mutual trickery and deceit。 I smiled agreeably；
pretending that all this pleased me extremely。 He； looking at my
wife； as all debauches look at beautiful women； with an air of
being interested solely in the subject of conversation；that is；
in that which did not interest him at all。
〃She tried to seem indifferent。 But my expression； my jealous or
false smile； which she knew so well； and the voluptuous glances
of the musician； evidently excited her。 I saw that； after the
first interview； her eyes were already glittering； glittering
strangely； and that； thanks to my jealousy； between him and her
had been immediately established that sort of electric current
which is provoked by an identity of expression in the smile and
in the eyes。
〃We talked； at the first interview； of music； of Paris； and of
all sorts of trivialities。 He rose to go。 Pressing his hat
against his swaying hip； he stood erect； looking now at her and
now at me； as if waiting to see what she would do。 I remember
that minute； precisely because it was in my power not to invite
him。 I need not have invited him； and then nothing would have
happened。 But I cast a glance first at him； then at her。 'Don't
flatter yourself that I can be jealous of you；' I thought；
addressing myself to her mentally； and I invited the other to
bring his violin that very evening； and to play with my wife。
She raised her eyes toward me with astonishment； and her face
turned purple； as if she were seized with a sudden fear。 She
began to excuse herself； saying that she did not play well
enough。 This refusal only excited me the more。 I remember the
strange feeling with which I looked at his neck； his white neck；
in contrast with his black hair； separated by a parting； when；
with his skipping gait； like that of a bird； he left my house。 I
could not help confessing to myself that this man's presence
caused me suffering。 'It is in my power；' thought I； 'to so
arrange things that I shall never see him again。 But can it be
that I； _I_； fear him？ No； I do not fear him。 It would be too
humiliating！'
〃And there in the hall； knowing that my wife heard me； I insisted
that he should come that very evening with his violin。 He
promised me； and went away。 In the evening he arrived with his
violin； and they played together。 But for a long time things did
not go well； we had not the necessary music； and that which we
had my wife could not play at sight。 I amused myself with their
difficulties。 I aided them； I made proposals； and they finally
executed a few pieces；songs without words； and a little sonata
by Mozart。 He played in a marvellous manner。 He had what is
called the energetic and tender tone。 As for difficulties； there
were none for him。 Scarcely had he begun to play； when his face
changed。 He became serious； and much more sympathetic。 He was；
it is needless to say； much stronger than my wife。 He helped
her； he advised her simply and naturally； and at the same time
played his game with courtesy。 My wife seemed interested only in
the music。 She was very simple and agreeable。 Throughout the
evening I feigned； not only for the others； but for myself； an
interest solely in the music。 Really； I was continually tortured
by jealousy。 From the first minute that the musician's eyes met
those of my wife； I saw that he did not regard her as a
disagreeable woman； with whom on occasion it would be unpleasant
to enter into intimate relations。
〃If I had been pure； I should not have dreamed of what he might
think of her。 But I looked at women； and that is why I
understood him and was in torture。 I was in torture； especially
because I was sure that toward me she had no other feeling than
of perpetual irritation； sometimes interrupted by the customary
sensuality； and that this man；thanks to his external elegance
and his novelty； and； above all； thanks to his unquestionably
remarkable talent； thanks to the attraction exercised under the
influence of music； thanks to the impression that music produces
upon nervous natures；this man would not only please； but would
inevitably； and without difficulty； subjugate and conquer her；
and do with her as he liked。
〃I could not help seeing this。 I could not help suffering； or
keep from being jealous。 And I was jealous； and I suffered； and
in spite of that； and perhaps even because of that； an unknown
force； in spite of my will； impelled me to be not only polite；
but more than polite； amiable。 I cannot say whether I did it for
my wife； or to show him that I did not fear HIM； or to deceive
myself； but from my first relations with him I could not be at my
ease。 I was obliged； that I might not give way to a desire to
kill him immediately； to 'caress' him。 I filled his glass at the
table； I grew enthusiastic over his playing； I talked to him with
an extremely amiable smile； and I invited him to dinner the
following Sunday； and to play again。 I told him that I would
invite some of my acquaintances；