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were alone together in her gothic boudoir。 I feared no longer； I was
secure of happiness。 My mistress should be mine； or I would seek a
refuge in death。 I had condemned my faint…hearted love； and a man who
acknowledges his weakness is strong indeed。
〃The countess； in her blue cashmere gown； was reclining on a sofa；
with her feet on a cushion。 She wore an Oriental turban such as
painters assign to early Hebrews； its strangeness added an
indescribable coquettish grace to her attractions。 A transitory charm
seemed to have laid its spell on her face； it might have furnished the
argument that at every instant we become new and unparalleled beings；
without any resemblance to the US of the future or of the past。 I had
never yet seen her so radiant。
〃 'Do you know that you have piqued my curiosity？' she said； laughing。
〃 'I will not disappoint it；' I said quietly； as I seated myself near
to her and took the hand that she surrendered to me。 'You have a very
beautiful voice！'
〃 'You have never heard me sing！' she exclaimed； starting
involuntarily with surprise。
〃 'I will prove that it is quite otherwise； whenever it is necessary。
Is your delightful singing still to remain a mystery？ Have no fear； I
do not wish to penetrate it。'
〃We spent about an hour in familiar talk。 While I adopted the attitude
and manner of a man to whom Foedora must refuse nothing； I showed her
all a lover's deference。 Acting in this way； I received a favorI was
allowed to kiss her hand。 She daintily drew off the glove； and my
whole soul was dissolved and poured forth in that kiss。 I was steeped
in the bliss of an illusion in which I tried to believe。
〃Foedora lent herself most unexpectedly to my caress and my
flatteries。 Do not accuse me of faint…heartedness； if I had gone a
step beyond these fraternal compliments； the claws would have been out
of the sheath and into me。 We remained perfectly silent for nearly ten
minutes。 I was admiring her； investing her with the charms she had
not。 She was mine just then； and mine only；this enchanting being was
mine； as was permissible； in my imagination； my longing wrapped her
round and held her close； in my soul I wedded her。 The countess was
subdued and fascinated by my magnetic influence。 Ever since I have
regretted that this subjugation was not absolute； but just then I
yearned for her soul； her heart alone； and for nothing else。 I longed
for an ideal and perfect happiness； a fair illusion that cannot last
for very long。 At last I spoke； feeling that the last hours of my
frenzy were at hand。
〃 'Hear me； madame。 I love you； and you know it； I have said so a
hundred times； you must have understood me。 I would not take upon me
the airs of a coxcomb； nor would I flatter you； nor urge myself upon
you like a fool； I would not owe your love to such arts as these！ so I
have been misunderstood。 What sufferings have I not endured for your
sake！ For these； however； you were not to blame； but in a few minutes
you shall decide for yourself。 There are two kinds of poverty； madame。
One kind openly walks the street in rags； an unconscious imitator of
Diogenes； on a scanty diet； reducing life to its simplest terms； he is
happier； maybe； than the rich； he has fewer cares at any rate； and
accepts such portions of the world as stronger spirits refuse。 Then
there is poverty in splendor； a Spanish pauper； concealing the life of
a beggar by his title； his bravery； and his pride； poverty that wears
a white waistcoat and yellow kid gloves； a beggar with a carriage；
whose whole career will be wrecked for lack of a halfpenny。 Poverty of
the first kind belongs to the populace； the second kind is that of
blacklegs； of kings； and of men of talent。 I am neither a man of the
people； nor a king； nor a swindler； possibly I have no talent either；
I am an exception。 With the name I bear I must die sooner than beg。
Set your mind at rest； madame；' I said； 'to…day I have abundance； I
possess sufficient of the clay for my needs'； for the hard look passed
over her face which we wear whenever a well…dressed beggar takes us by
surprise。 'Do you remember the day when you wished to go to the
Gymnase without me； never believing that I should be there？' I went
on。
〃She nodded。
〃 'I had laid out my last five…franc piece that I might see you there。
Do you recollect our walk in the Jardin des Plantes？ The hire of
your cab took everything I had。'
〃I told her about my sacrifices； and described the life I led； heated
not with wine； as I am to…day； but by the generous enthusiasm of my
heart； my passion overflowed in burning words； I have forgotten how
the feelings within me blazed forth； neither memory nor skill of mine
could possibly reproduce it。 It was no colorless chronicle of blighted
affections； my love was strengthened by fair hopes； and such words
came to me； by love's inspiration； that each had power to set forth a
whole lifelike echoes of the cries of a soul in torment。 In such
tones the last prayers ascend from dying men on the battlefield。 I
stopped； for she was weeping。 GRAND DIEU！ I had reaped an actor's
reward； the success of a counterfeit passion displayed at the cost of
five francs paid at the theatre door。 I had drawn tears from her。
〃 'If I had known' she said。
〃 'Do not finish the sentence；' I broke in。 'Even now I love you well
enough to murder you'
〃She reached for the bell…pull。 I burst into a roar of laughter。
〃 'Do not call any one；' I said。 'I shall leave you to finish your
life in peace。 It would be a blundering kind of hatred that would
murder you！ You need not fear violence of any kind； I have spent a
whole night at the foot of your bed without'
〃 'Monsieur' she said； blushing； but after that first impulse of
modesty that even the most hardened women must surely own； she flung a
scornful glance at me； and said：
〃 'You must have been very cold。'
〃 'Do you think that I set such value on your beauty； madame；' I
answered； guessing the thoughts that moved her。 'Your beautiful face
is for me a promise of a soul yet more beautiful。 Madame； those to
whom a woman is merely a woman can always purchase odalisques fit for
the seraglio； and achieve their happiness at a small cost。 But I
aspired to something higher； I wanted the life of close communion of
heart and heart with you that have no heart。 I know that now。 If you
were to belong to another； I could kill him。 And yet； no； for you
would love him； and his death might hurt you perhaps。 What agony this
is！' I cried。
〃 'If it is any comfort to you；' she retorted cheerfully； 'I can
assure you that I shall never belong to any one'
〃 'So you offer an affront to God Himself；' I interrupted； 'and you
will be punished for it。 Some day you will lie upon your sofa
suffering unheard…of ills； unable to endure the light or the slightest
sound； condemned to live as it were in the tomb。 Then； when you seek
the causes of those lingering and avenging torments； you will remember
the woes that you distributed so lavishly upon your way。 You have sown
curses； and hatred will be your reward。 We are the real judges； the
executioners of a justice that reigns here below； which overrul