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nose; let them coin his cheeks。 I'll not pay a denier。 What; will you make a
younker of me? Shall I not take mine ease in mine inn but I shall have my
pocket pick'd? I have lost a seal…ring of my grandfather's worth forty mark。
Host。 O Jesu; I have heard the Prince tell him; I know not how oft; that
that ring was copper! Fal。 How? the Prince is a Jack; a sneak…cup。 'Sblood;
an he were here; I would cudgel him like a dog if he would say so。
Enter the Prince 'and Poins'; marching; and Falstaff meets them;
playing upon his truncheon like a fife。
How now; lad? Is the wind in that door; i' faith? Must we all march?
Bard。 Yea; two and two; Newgate fashion。 Host。 My lord; I pray you hear
me。 Prince。 What say'st thou; Mistress Quickly? How doth thy husband? I
love him well; he is an honest man。 Host。 Good my lord; hear me。 Fal。
Prithee let her alone and list to me。 Prince。 What say'st thou; Jack? Fal。
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The other night I fell asleep here behind the arras and had my pocket
pick'd。 This house is turn'd bawdy house; they pick pockets。 Prince。 What
didst thou lose; Jack? Fal。 Wilt thou believe me; Hal? Three or four bonds
of forty pound apiece and a seal…ring of my grandfather's。 Prince。 A trifle;
some eightpenny matter。 Host。 So I told him; my lord; and I said I heard
your Grace say so; and; my lord; he speaks most vilely of you; like a foul…
mouth'd man as he is; and said he would cudgel you。 Prince。 What! he did
not? Host。 There's neither faith; truth; nor womanhood in me else。 Fal。
There's no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune; nor no more truth in
thee than in a drawn fox; and for woman…hood; Maid Marian may be the
deputy's wife of the ward to thee。 Go; you thing; go! Host。 Say; what thing?
what thing? Fal。 What thing? Why; a thing to thank God on。 Host。 I am no
thing to thank God on; I would thou shouldst know it! I am an honest
man's wife; and; setting thy knight…hood aside; thou art a knave to call me
so。 Fal。 Setting thy womanhood aside; thou art a beast to say otherwise。
Host。 Say; what beast; thou knave; thou? Fal。 What beast? Why; an otter。
Prince。 An otter; Sir John? Why an otter? Fal。 Why; she's neither fish nor
flesh; a man knows not where to have her。 Host。 Thou art an unjust man in
saying so。 Thou or any man knows where to have me; thou knave; thou!
Prince。 Thou say'st true; hostess; and he slanders thee most grossly。 Host。
So he doth you; my lord; and said this other day you ought him a thousand
pound。 Prince。 Sirrah; do I owe you a thousand pound? Fal。 A thousand
pound; Hal? A million! Thy love is worth a million; thou owest me thy
love。 Host。 Nay; my lord; he call'd you Jack and said he would cudgel you。
Fal。 Did I; Bardolph? Bard。 Indeed; Sir John; you said so。 Fal。 Yea。 if he
said my ring was copper。 Prince。 I say; 'tis copper。 Darest thou be as good
as thy word now? Fal。 Why; Hal; thou knowest; as thou art but man; I dare;
but as thou art Prince; I fear thee as I fear the roaring of the lion's whelp。
Prince。 And why not as the lion? Fal。 The King himself is to be feared as
the lion。 Dost thou think I'll fear thee as I fear thy father? Nay; an I do; I
pray God my girdle break。 Prince。 O; if it should; how would thy guts fall
about thy knees! But; sirrah; there's no room for faith; truth; nor honesty in
this bosom of thine。 It is all fill'd up with guts and midriff。 Charge an
honest woman with picking thy pocket? Why; thou whoreson; impudent;
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emboss'd rascal; if there were anything in thy pocket but tavern reckonings;
memorandums of bawdy houses; and one poor pennyworth of sugar candy
to make thee long…winded… if thy pocket were enrich'd with any other
injuries but these; I am a villain。 And yet you will stand to it; you will not
pocket up wrong。 Art thou not ashamed? Fal。 Dost thou hear; Hal? Thou
knowest in the state of innocency Adam fell; and what should poor Jack
Falstaff do in the days of villany? Thou seest I have more flesh than
another man; and therefore more frailty。 You confess then; you pick'd my
pocket? Prince。 It appears so by the story。 Fal。 Hostess; I forgive thee。 Go
make ready breakfast。 Love thy husband; look to thy servants; cherish thy
guests。 Thou shalt find me tractable to any honest reason。 Thou seest I am
pacified。 …Still?… Nay; prithee be gone。 'Exit Hostess。' Now; Hal; to the
news at court。 For the robbery; lad… how is that answered? Prince。 O my
sweet beef; I must still be good angel to thee。 The money is paid back
again。 Fal。 O; I do not like that paying back! 'Tis a double labour。 Prince。 I
am good friends with my father; and may do anything。 Fal。 Rob me the
exchequer the first thing thou doest; and do it with unwash'd hands too。
Bard。 Do; my lord。 Prince。 I have procured thee; Jack; a charge of foot。 Fal。
I would it had been of horse。 Where shall I find one that can steal well? O
for a fine thief of the age of two…and…twenty or thereabouts! I am
heinously unprovided。 Well; God be thanked for these rebels。 They offend
none but the virtuous。 I laud them; I praise them。 Prince。 Bardolph! Bard。
My lord? Prince。 Go bear this letter to Lord John of Lancaster; To my
brother John; this to my Lord of Westmoreland。 'Exit Bardolph。' Go;
Poins; to horse; to horse; for thou and I Have thirty miles to ride yet ere
dinner time。 'Exit Poins。' Jack; meet me to…morrow in the Temple Hall At
two o'clock in the afternoon。 There shalt thou know thy charge。 and there
receive Money and order for their furniture。 The land is burning; Percy
stands on high; And either they or we must lower lie。 'Exit。' Fal。 Rare
words! brave world! Hostess; my breakfast; come。 O; I could wish this
tavern were my drum! Exit。