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plain to affect my ease of mind。 Accordingly； about the end of this year； I
fell into a dull way： my spirit was subdued； and at times I was aweary of
the day； and longed for the night； when I might close my eyes in peaceful
slumbers。 I missed my son Gilbert； who had been a companion to me in
the long nights； while his mother was busy with the lasses； and their
ceaseless wheels and cardings； in the kitchen。 Often could I have found
it in my heart to have banned that never…ceasing industry； and to tell Mrs
Balwhidder； that the married state was made for something else than to
make napery and beetle blankets； but it was her happiness to keep all at
work； and she had no pleasure in any other way of life； so I sat many a
night by the fireside with resignation； sometimes in the study； and
sometimes in the parlour； and； as I was doing nothing； Mrs Balwhidder
said it was needless to light the candle。 Our daughter Janet was in this
time at a boarding…school in Ayr； so that I was really a most solitary
married man。
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CHAPTER XXXIII YEAR 1792
When the spring in this year began to brighten on the brae； the cloud
of dulness that had darkened and oppressed me all the winter somewhat
melted away； and I could now and then joke again at the never…ending toil
and trouble of that busiest of all bees； the second Mrs Balwhidder。 But
still I was far from being right： a small matter affected me； and I was
overly given to walking by myself； and musing on things that I could tell
nothing aboutmy thoughts were just the rack of a dream without form；
and driving witlessly as the smoke that mounteth up； and is lost in the airy
heights of the sky。
Heeding little of what was going on in the clachan； and taking no
interest in the concerns of any body； I would have been contented to die；
but I had no ail about me。 An accident； however； fell out； that； by calling
on me for an effort； had the blessed influence of clearing my vapours
almost entirely away。
One morning as I was walking on the sunny side of the road； where the
footpath was in the next year made to the cotton…mill； I fell in with Mr
Cayenne； who was seemingly much fasheda small matter could do that at
any time； and he came up to me with a red face and an angry eye。 It was
not my intent to speak to him； for I was grown loth to enter into
conversation with any body； so I bowed and passed on。 〃What；〃 cried Mr
Cayenne； 〃and will you not speak to me？〃 I turned round； and said
meekly； 〃Mr Cayenne； I have no objections to speak to you； but having
nothing particular to say； it did not seem necessary just now。〃
He looked at me like a gled； and in a minute exclaimed； 〃Mad； by
Jupiter！ as mad as a March hare！〃 He then entered into conversation with
me； and said； that he had noticed me an altered man； and was just so far on
his way to the manse； to enquire what had befallen me。 So； from less to
more； we entered into the marrow of my case； and I told him how I had
observed the estranged countenances of some of the heritors； at which he
swore an oath； that they were a parcel of the damn'dest boobies in the
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country； and told me how they had taken it into their heads that I was a
leveller。 〃But I know you better；〃 said Mr Cayenne； 〃and have stood up
for you as an honest conscientious man； though I don't much like your
humdrum preaching。 However； let that pass； I insist upon your dining with
me to…day； when some of these arrant fools are to be with us； and the
devil's in't if I don't make you friends with them。〃 I did not think Mr
Cayenne； however； very well qualified for peacemaker； but； nevertheless； I
consented to go； and having thus got an inkling of the cause of that cold
back…turning which had distressed me so much； I made such an effort to
remove the error that was entertained against me； that some of the heritors；
before we separated； shook me by the hands with the cordiality of renewed
friendship； and； as if to make amends for past neglect； there was no end to
their invitations to dinner which had the effect of putting me again on my
mettle； and removing the thick and muddy melancholious humour out of
my blood。
But what confirmed my cure was the coming home of my daughter
Janet from the Ayr boarding…school； where she had learnt to play on the
spinnet； and was become a conversible lassie； with a competent
knowledge； for a woman of geography and history； so that when her
mother was busy with the weariful booming wheel； she entertained me
sometimes with a tune； and sometimes with her tongue； which made the
winter nights fly cantily by。
Whether it was owing to the malady of my imagination throughout the
greatest part of this year； or that really nothing particular did happen to
interest me； I cannot say； but it is very remarkable that I have nothing
remarkable to recordfurther； than I was at the expense myself of getting
the manse rough…case； and the window cheeks painted； with roans put up；
rather than apply to the heritors； for they were always sorely fashed when
called upon for outlay。
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CHAPTER XXXIV YEAR 1793
On the first night of this year I dreamt a very remarkable dream； which；
when I now recall to mind at this distance of time； I cannot but think that
there was a case of prophecy in it。 I thought that I stood on the tower of
an old popish kirk； looking out at the window upon the kirkyard； where I
beheld ancient tombs； with effigies and coats…of…arms on the wall thereof；
and a great gate at the one side； and a door that led into a dark and dismal
vault at the other。 I thought all the dead that were lying in the common
graves； rose out of their coffins； at the same time； from the old and grand
monuments； with the effigies and coats…of…arm