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me to come on the Monday； which I accordingly did； and nothing could be
better than the discretion with which I was used。 There was a vast
company of English ladies and gentlemen； and his lordship； in a most
jocose manner； told them all how he had fallen on the midden； and how I
had clad him in my clothes； and there was a wonder of laughing and
diversion； but the most particular thing in the company； was a large；
round…faced man； with a wig； that was a dignitary in some great
Episcopalian church in London； who was extraordinary condescending
towards me； drinking wine with me at the table； and saying weighty
sentences； in a fine style of language； about the becoming grace of
simplicity and innocence of heart； in the clergy of all denominations of
Christians； which I was pleased to hear； for really he had a proud red
countenance； and I could not have thought he was so mortified to humility
within； had I not heard with what sincerity he delivered himself； and seen
how much reverence and attention was paid to him by all present；
particularly by my lord's chaplain； who was a pious and pleasant young
divine； though educated at Oxford for the Episcopalian persuasion。
One day； soon after； as I was sitting in my closet conning a sermon for
the next Sunday； I was surprised by a visit from the dean； as the dignitary
was called。 He had come； he said； to wait on me as rector of the parish
for so； it seems； they call a pastor in Englandand to say； that； if it was
agreeable； he would take a family dinner with us before he left the castle。
I could make no objection to this kindness； but said I hoped my lord would
come with him； and that we would do our best to entertain them with all
suitable hospitality。 About an hour or so after he had returned to the
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ANNALS OF THE PARISH
castle； one of the flunkeys brought a letter from his lordship； to say； that
not only he would come with the dean； but that they would bring his other
guests with them； and that； as they could only drink London wine； the
butler would send me a hamper in the morning； assured； as he was pleased
to say； that Mrs Balwhidder would otherwise provide good cheer。
This notification； however； was a great trouble to my wife； who was
only used to manufacture the produce of our glebe and yard to a profitable
purpose； and not used to the treatment of deans and lords； and other
persons of quality。 However； she was determined to stretch a point on
this occasion； and we had； as all present declared； a charming dinner； for
fortunately one of the sows had a litter of pigs a few days before； and in
addition to a goose； that is but a boss bird； we had a roasted pig with an
apple in its mouth； which was just a curiosity to see； and my lord called it
a tithe pig； but I told him it was one of Mrs Balwhidder's own clecking；
which saying of mine made no little sport when expounded to the dean。
But； och how！ this was the last happy summer that we had for many a
year in the parish； and an omen of the dule that ensued； was in a
sacrilegious theft that a daft woman； Jenny Gaffaw； and her idiot daughter；
did in the kirk； by tearing off and stealing the green serge lining of my
lord's pew； to make； as they said； a hap for their shoulders in the cold
weathersaving； however； the sin； we paid no attention at the time to the
mischief and tribulation that so unheard…of a trespass boded to us all。 It
took place about Yule； when the weather was cold and frosty； and poor
Jenny was not very able to go about seeking her meat as usual。 The deed；
however； was mainly done by her daughter； who； when brought before me；
said； 〃her poor mother's back had mair need of claes than the kirk…boards；〃
which was so true a thing； that I could not punish her； but wrote anent it to
my lord； who not only overlooked the offence； but sent orders to the
servants at the castle to be kind to the poor woman； and the natural； her
daughter。
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CHAPTER XV YEAR 1774
When I look back on this year； and compare what happened therein
with the things that had gone before； I am grieved to the heart； and pressed
down with an afflicted spirit。 We had； as may be read； trials and
tribulations in the days that were past； and in the rank and boisterous times
of the smuggling there was much sin and blemish among us； but nothing
so dark and awful as what fell out in the course of this unhappy year。
The evil omen of daft Jenny Gaffaw and her daughter's sacrilege； had soon
a bloody verification。
About the beginning of the month of March in this year； the war in
America was kindling so fast that the government was obligated to send
soldiers over the sea； in the hope to quell the rebellious temper of the
plantations； and a party of a regiment that was quartered at Ayr was
ordered to march to Greenock； to be there shipped off。 The men were
wild and wicked profligates； without the fear of the Lord before their eyes；
and some of them had drawn up with light women in Ayr； who followed
them on their march。 This the soldiers did not like； not wishing to be
troubled with such gear in America； so the women； when they got the
length of Kilmarnock； were ordered to retreat and go home； which they all
did but one Jean Glaikit； who persisted in her intent to follow her joe；
Patrick O'Neil； a Catholic Irish corporal。 The man did； as he said； all in
his capacity to persuade her to return； but she was a contumacious limmer；
and would not listen to reason； so that； in passing along our toll…road； from
less to more； the miserable wretches fell out； and fought； and the soldier
put an end to her with a hasty knock on the head with his firelock； and
marched on after his comrades。 The body of the woman was； about half
an hour after； found by the scholars of Mr Lorimore's school； who had