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been planted along the toll…road； began to put forth their branches； and to
give new notions of orderlyness and beauty to the farmers。 Mrs Malcolm
heard from time to time from her son Charles； on board the man…of…war
the Avenger； where he was midshipman； and he had found a friend in the
captain； that was just a father to him。 Her second son； Robert； being out
of his time at Irville； went to the Clyde to look for a berth； and was hired
to go to Jamaica； in a ship called the Trooper。 He was a lad of greater
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sobriety of nature than Charles； douce； honest； and faithful； and when he
came home； though he brought no limes to me to make punch； like his
brother； he brought a Muscovy duck to Lady Macadam； who had； as I
have related； in a manner educated his sister Kate。 That duck was the
first of the kind we had ever seen； and many thought it was of the goose
species； only with short bowly legs。 It was； however； a tractable and
homely beast； and after some confabulation； as my lady herself told Mrs
Balwhidder； it was received into fellowship by her other ducks and poultry。
It is not； however； so much on account of the rarity of the creature； that I
have introduced it here； as for the purpose of relating a wonderful
operation that was performed on it by Miss Sabrina； the schoolmistress。
There happened to be a sack of beans in our stable； and Lady
Macadam's hens and fowls； which were not overly fed at home through
the inattention of her servants； being great stravaigers for their meat； in
passing the door went in to pick； and the Muscovy； seeing a hole in the
bean…sack； dabbled out a crapful before she was disturbed。 The beans
swelled on the poor bird's stomach； and her crap bellied out like the kyte
of a Glasgow magistrate； until it was just a sight to be seen with its head
back on its shoulders。 The bairns of the clachan followed it up and down；
crying； the lady's muckle jock's aye growing bigger； till every heart was
wae for the creature。 Some thought it was afflicted with a tympathy； and
others； that it was the natural way for such…like ducks to cleck their young。
In short； we were all concerned； and my lady； having a great opinion of
Miss Sabrina's skill； had a consultation with her on the case； at which Miss
Sabrina advised； that what she called the Caesarean operation should be
tried； which she herself performed accordingly； by opening the creature's
crap； and taking out as many beans as filled a mutchkin stoup； after which
she sewed it up； and the Muscovy went its way to the water…side； and
began to swim； and was as jocund as ever； insomuch； that in three days
after it was quite cured of all the consequences of its surfeit。
I had at one time a notion to send an account of this to the Scots
Magazine； but something always came in the way to prevent me； so that it
has been reserved for a place in this chronicle； being； after Mr Heckletext's
affair； the most memorable thing in our history of this year。
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ANNALS OF THE PARISH
CHAPTER XIV YEAR 1773
In this Ann。 Dom。 there was something like a plea getting to a head；
between the session and some of the heritors； about a new school… house；
the thatch having been torn from the rigging of the old one by a blast of
wind； on the first Monday of February； by which a great snow storm got
admission； and the school was rendered utterly uninhabitable。 The
smaller sort of lairds were very willing to come into the plan with an extra
contribution； because they respected the master； and their bairns were at
the school； but the gentlemen； who had tutors in their own houses； were
not so manageable； and some of them even went so far as to say； that the
kirk； being only wanted on Sunday； would do very well for a school all the
rest of the week； which was a very profane way of speaking； and I was
resolved to set myself against any such thing； and to labour； according to
the power and efficacy of my station； to get a new school built。
Many a meeting the session had on the subject； and the heritors
debated； and discussed； and revised their proceedings； and still no money
for the needful work was forthcoming。 Whereupon it happened one
morning； as I was rummaging in my scrutoire； that I laid my hand on the
Lord Eaglesham's letter anent Charles Malcolm； and it was put into my
head at that moment； that if I was to write to his lordship； who was the
greatest heritor； and owned now the major part of the parish； that by his
help and influence I might be an instrument to the building of a
comfortable new school。 Accordingly； I sat down and wrote my lord all
about the accident； and the state of the school…house； and the divisions and
seditions among the heritors； and sent the letter to him at London by the
post the same day； without saying a word to any living soul on the subject。
This in me was an advised thought； for； by the return of post； his
lordship with his own hand； in a most kind manner； authorized me to say
that he would build a new school at his own cost； and bade me go over and
consult about it with his steward at the castle； to whom he had written by
the same post the necessary instructions。 Nothing could exceed the
gladness which the news gave to the whole parish； and none said more in
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behalf of his lordship's bounty and liberality than the heritors； especially
those gentry who grudged the undertaking； when it was thought that it
would have to come out of their own pock…nook。
In the course of the summer； just as the roof was closing in of the
school…house； my lord came to the castle with a great company； and was
not there a day till he sent for me to come over； on the next Sunday； to
dine with him； but I sent him word that I could not do so； for it would be a
transgression of the Sabbath； which made him send his own gentleman； to
make his apology for having taken so great a liberty with me； and to beg
me to come on the Monday； which I accordingly did； and nothing could be