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perceived that the schoolroom； where our childhood had been taught
by that good old woman； was converted into a shop。 I called to
mind the sorrow； the heaviness； the tears； and oppression of heart；
which I experienced in that confinement。 Every step produced some
particular impression。 A pilgrim in the Holy Land does not meet
so many spots pregnant with tender recollections； and his soul is
hardly moved with greater devotion。 One incident will serve for
illustration。 I followed the course of a stream to a farm； formerly
a delightful walk of mine； and paused at the spot； where； when
boys； we used to amuse ourselves making ducks and drakes upon the
water。 I recollected so well how I used formerly to watch the
course of that same stream； following it with inquiring eagerness；
forming romantic ideas of the countries it was to pass through；
but my imagination was soon exhausted： while the water continued
flowing farther and farther on； till my fancy became bewildered
by the contemplation of an invisible distance。 Exactly such； my
dear friend； so happy and so confined； were the thoughts of our
good ancestors。 Their feelings and their poetry were fresh as
childhood。 And； when Ulysses talks of the immeasurable sea and
boundless earth； his epithets are true； natural； deeply felt； and
mysterious。 Of what importance is it that I have learned； with
every schoolboy； that the world is round？ Man needs but little
earth for enjoyment； and still less for his final repose。
I am at present with the prince at his hunting lodge。 He is a man
with whom one can live happily。 He is honest and unaffected。 There
are； however； some strange characters about him； whom I cannot at
all understand。 They do not seem vicious； and yet they do not
carry the appearance of thoroughly honest men。 Sometimes I am
disposed to believe them honest； and yet I cannot persuade myself
to confide in them。 It grieves me to hear the prince occasionally
talk of things which he has only read or heard of； and always with
the same view in which they have been represented by others。
He values my understanding and talents more highly than my heart；
but I am proud of the latter only。 It is the sole source of
everything of our strength； happiness； and misery。 All the knowledge
I possess every one else can acquire； but my heart is exclusively
my own。
MAY 25。
I have had a plan in my head of which I did not intend to speak
to you until it was accomplished： now that it has failed； I may
as well mention it。 I wished to enter the army； and had long been
desirous of taking the step。 This； indeed； was the chief reason
for my coming here with the prince； as he is a general in the
service。 I communicated my design to him during one of our walks
together。 He disapproved of it； and it would have been actual
madness not to have listened to his reasons。
JUNE 11。
Say what you will； I can remain here no longer。 Why should I
remain？ Time hangs heavy upon my hands。 The prince is as gracious
to me as any one could be； and yet I am not at my ease。 There is；
indeed； nothing in common between us。 He is a man of understanding；
but quite of the ordinary kind。 His conversation affords me no
more amusement than I should derive from the perusal of a well…written
book。 I shall remain here a week Ionger； and then start again on
my travels。 My drawings are the best things I have done since I
came here。 The prince has a taste for the arts； and would improve
if his mind were not fettered by cold rules and mere technical
ideas。 I often lose patience； when； with a glowing imagination；
I am giving expression to art and nature； he interferes with learned
suggestions； and uses at random the technical phraseology of artists。
JULY 16。
Once more I am a wanderer； a pilgrim； through the world。 But what
else are you！
JULY 18。
Whither am I going？ I will tell you in confidence。 I am obliged
to continue a fortnight longer here； and then I think it would be
better for me to visit the mines in 。 But I am only deluding
myself thus。 The fact is； I wish to be near Charlotte again； that
is all。 I smile at the suggestions of my heart； and obey its
dictates。
JULY 29。
No； no！ it is yet well all is well！ I her husband！ O God； who
gave me being； if thou hadst destined this happiness for me； my
whole life would have been one continual thanksgiving！ But I will
not murmur forgive these tears； forgive these fruitless wishes。
She my wife！ Oh； the very thought of folding that dearest of
Heaven's creatures in my arms！ Dear Wilhelm； my whole frame feels
convulsed when I see Albert put his arms around her slender waist！
And shall I avow it？ Why should I not； Wilhelm？ She would have
been happier with me than with him。 Albert is not the man to
satisfy the wishes of such a heart。 He wants a certain sensibility；
he wants in short； their hearts do not beat in unison。 How
often； my dear friend； im reading a passage from some interesting
book； when my heart and Charlotte's seemed to meet； and in a hundred
other instances when our sentiments were unfolded by the story of
some fictitious character； have I felt that we were made for each
other！ But； dear Wilhelm； he loves her with his whole soul； and
what does not such a love deserve？
I have been interrupted by an insufferable visit。 I have dried
my tears； and composed my thoughts。 Adieu； my best friend！
AUGUST 4。
I am not alone unfortunate。 All men are disappointed in their
hopes； and deceived in their expectations。 I have paid a visit
to my good old woman under the lime…trees。 The eldest boy ran
out to meet me： his exclamation of joy brought out his mother；
but she had a very melancholy look。 Her first word was； 〃Alas！
dear sir； my little John is dead。〃 He was the youngest of her
children。 I was silent。 〃And my husband has returned from
Switzerland without any money； and； if some kind people had not
assisted him； he must have begged his way home。 He was taken ill
with fever on his journey。〃 I could answer nothing； but made the
little one a present。 She invited me to take some fruit： I complied；
and left the place with a sorrowful heart。
AUGUST 21。
My sensations are constantly changing。 Sometimes a happy prospect
opens before me； but alas！ it is only for a moment； and then； when
I am lost in reverie； I cannot help saying to myself； 〃If Albert
were to die？ Yes； she would become and I should be〃 and
so I pursue a chimera； till it leads me to the edge of a precipice
at which I shudder。
When I pass through the same gate； and walk along the same road
which first conducted me to Charlotte； my heart sinks within me
at the change that has since taken place。 All； all； is altered！
No sentiment； no pulsation of my heart； is the same。 My sensations
are such as would occur to some departed prince whose spirit should
return to visit the superb palace which he had built in happy times；
adorned with costly magnificence； and left to a beloved son； but
whose glory he should find departed； and its halls deserted and
in ruins。
SEPTEMBER 3。
I sometimes cannot understand how she can love another； how she