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for the love of God； relieve me from such a yoke！ I need no more
to be guided； agitated； heated。 My heart ferments sufficiently of
itself。 I want strains to lull me； and I find them to perfection
in my Homer。 Often do I strive to allay the burning fever of my
blood； and you have never witnessed anything so unsteady； so
uncertain； as my heart。 But need I confess this to you； my dear
friend； who have so often endured the anguish of witnessing my
sudden transitions from sorrow to immoderate joy； and from sweet
melancholy to violent passions？ I treat my poor heart like a sick
child； and gratify its every fancy。 Do not mention this again：
there are people who would censure me for it。
MAY 15。
The common people of the place know me already； and love me；
particularly the children。 When at first I associated with them；
and inquired in a friendly tone about their various trifles； some
fancied that I wished to ridicule them； and turned from me in
exceeding ill…humour。 I did not allow that circumstance to grieve
me： I only felt most keenly what I have often before observed。
Persons who can claim a certain rank keep themselves coldly aloof
from the common people； as though they feared to lose their importance
by the contact； whilst wanton idlers； and such as are prone to bad
joking； affect to descend to their level； only to make the poor
people feel their impertinence all the more keenly。
I know very well that we are not all equal； nor can be so； but it
is my opinion that he who avoids the common people； in order not
to lose their respect； is as much to blame as a coward who hides
himself from his enemy because he fears defeat。
The other day I went to the fountain； and found a young servant…girl；
who had set her pitcher on the lowest step； and looked around to
see if one of her companions was approaching to place it on her
head。 I ran down； and looked at her。 〃Shall I help you； pretty
lass？〃 said I。 She blushed deeply。 〃Oh； sir！〃 she exclaimed。
〃No ceremony！〃 I replied。 She adjusted her head…gear； and I
helped her。 She thanked me； and ascended the steps。
MAY 17。
I have made all sorts of acquaintances； but have as yet found no
society。 I know not what attraction I possess for the people； so
many of them like me； and attach themselves to me； and then I feel
sorry when the road we pursue together goes only a short distance。
If you inquire what the people are like here； I must answer； 〃The
same as everywhere。〃 The human race is but a monotonous affair。
Most of them labour the greater part of their time for mere
subsistence； and the scanty portion of freedom which remains to
them so troubles them that they use every exertion to get rid of
it。 Oh； the destiny of man！
But they are a right good sort of people。 If I occasionally forget
myself； and take part in the innocent pleasures which are not yet
forbidden to the peasantry； and enjoy myself； for instance； with
genuine freedom and sincerity； round a well…covered table； or
arrange an excursion or a dance opportunely； and so forth； all
this produces a good effect upon my disposition； only I must forget
that there lie dormant within me so many other qualities which
moulder uselessly； and which I am obliged to keep carefully concealed。
Ah！ this thought affects my spirits fearfully。 And yet to be
misunderstood is the fate of the like of us。
Alas； that the friend of my youth is gone！ Alas； that I ever knew
her！ I might say to myself； 〃You are a dreamer to seek what is
not to be found here below。〃 But she has been mine。 I have
possessed that heart； that noble soul； in whose presence I seemed
to be more than I really was； because I was all that I could be。
Good heavens！ did then a single power of my soul remain unexercised？
In her presence could I not display； to its full extent； that
mysterious feeling with which my heart embraces nature？ Was not
our intercourse a perpetual web of the finest emotions； of the
keenest wit； the varieties of which； even in their very eccentricity；
bore the stamp of genius？ Alas！ the few years by which she was
my senior brought her to the grave before me。 Never can I forget
her firm mind or her heavenly patience。
A few days ago I met a certain young V； a frank； open fellow；
with a most pleasing countenance。 He has just left the university；
does not deem himself overwise； but believes he knows more than
other people。 He has worked hard； as I can perceive from many
circumstances； and； in short； possesses a large stock of information。
When he heard that I am drawing a good deal； and that I know Greek
（two wonderful things for this part of the country）； he came to
see me； and displayed his whole store of learning； from Batteaux
to Wood； from De Piles to Winkelmann： he assured me he had read
through the first part of Sultzer's theory； and also possessed a
manuscript of Heyne's work on the study of the antique。 I allowed
it all to pass。
I have become acquainted； also； with a very worthy person； the
district judge； a frank and open…hearted man。 I am told it is a
most delightful thing to see him in the midst of his children； of
whom he has nine。 His eldest daughter especially is highly spoken
of。 He has invited me to go and see him； and I intend to do so
on the first opportunity。 He lives at one of the royal hunting…lodges；
which can be reached from here in an hour and a half by walking；
and which he obtained leave to inhabit after the loss of his wife；
as it is so painful to him to reside in town and at the court。
There have also come in my way a few other originals of a questionable
sort； who are in all respects undesirable； and most intolerable
in their demonstration of friendship。 Good…bye。 This letter will
please you： it is quite historical。
MAY 22。
That the life of man is but a dream； many a man has surmised
heretofore； and I； too； am everywhere pursued by this feeling。
When I consider the narrow limits within which our active and
inquiring faculties are confined； when I see how all our energies
are wasted in providing for mere necessities； which again have no
further end than to prolong a wretched existence； and then that
all our satisfaction concerning certain subjects of investigation
ends in nothing better than a passive resignation； whilst we amuse
ourselves painting our prison…walls with bright figures and brilliant
landscapes； when I consider all this； Wilhelm； I am silent。
I examine my own being； and find there a world； but a world rather
of imagination and dim desires； than of distinctness and living
power。 Then everything swims before my senses； and I smile and
dream while pursuing my way through the world。
All learned professors and doctors are agreed that children do not
comprehend the cause of their desires； but that the grown…up should
wander about this earth like children； without knowing whence they
come； or whither they go； influenced as little by fixed motives；
but guided like them by biscuits； sugar…plums； and the rod； this
is what nobody is willing to acknowledge； and yet I think it is
palpable。
I know what you will say in reply； for I am ready to admit that
they are happie