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When any vessels came near it; they were instantly deprived of
their ironwork: the nails flew to the mountain; and the unhappy
crew perished amidst the disjointed planks。
JULY 30。
Albert is arrived; and I must take my departure。 Were he the best
and noblest of men; and I in every respect his inferior; I could
not endure to see him in possession of such a perfect being。
Possession! enough; Wilhelm: her betrothed is here; a fine;
worthy fellow; whom one cannot help liking。 Fortunately I was not
present at their meeting。 It would have broken my heart! And he
is so considerate: he has not given Charlotte one kiss in my
presence。 Heaven reward him for it! I must love him for the
respect with which he treats her。 He shows a regard for me; but
for this I suspect I am more indebted to Charlotte than to his own
fancy for me。 Women have a delicate tact in such matters; and it
should be so。 They cannot always succeed in keeping two rivals
on terms with each other; but; when they do; they are the only
gainers。
I cannot help esteeming Albert。 The coolness of his temper contrasts
strongly with the impetuosity of mine; which I cannot conceal。
He has a great deal of feeling; and is fully sensible of the
treasure he possesses in Charlotte。 He is free from ill…humour;
which you know is the fault I detest most。
He regards me as a man of sense; and my attachment to Charlotte;
and the interest I take in all that concerns her; augment his
triumph and his love。 I shall not inquire whether he may not at
times tease her with some little jealousies; as I know; that; were
I in his place; I should not be entirely free from such sensations。
But; be that as it may; my pleasure with Charlotte is over。 Call
it folly or infatuation; what signifies a name? The thing speaks
for itself。 Before Albert came; I knew all that I know now。 I
knew I could make no pretensions to her; nor did I offer any; that
is; as far as it was possible; in the presence of so much loveliness;
not to pant for its enjoyment。 And now; behold me like a silly
fellow; staring with astonishment when another comes in; and
deprives me of my love。
I bite my lips; and feel infinite scorn for those who tell me to
be resigned; because there is no help for it。 Let me escape from
the yoke of such silly subterfuges! I ramble through the woods;
and when I return to Charlotte; and find Albert sitting by her
side in the summer…house in the garden; I am unable to bear it;
behave like a fool; and commit a thousand extravagances。 〃For
Heaven's sake;〃 said Charlotte today; 〃let us have no more scenes
like those of last night! You terrify me when you are so violent。〃
Between ourselves; I am always away now when he visits her: and I
feel delighted when I find her alone。
AUGUST 8。
Believe me; dear Wilhelm; I did not allude to you when I spoke so
severely of those who advise resignation to inevitable fate。 I
did not think it possible for you to indulge such a sentiment。
But in fact you are right。 I only suggest one objection。 In this
world one is seldom reduced to make a selection between two
alternatives。 There are as many varieties of conduct and opinion
as there are turns of feature between an aquiline nose and a flat
one。
You will; therefore; permit me to concede your entire argument;
and yet contrive means to escape your dilemma。
Your position is this; I hear you say: 〃Either you have hopes of
obtaining Charlotte; or you have none。 Well; in the first case;
pursue your course; and press on to the fulfilment of your wishes。
In the second; be a man; and shake off a miserable passion; which
will enervate and destroy you。〃 My dear friend; this is well and
easily said。
But would you require a wretched being; whose life is slowly wasting
under a lingering disease; to despatch himself at once by the
stroke of a dagger? Does not the very disorder which consumes his
strength deprive him of the courage to effect his deliverance?
You may answer me; if you please; with a similar analogy; 〃Who
would not prefer the amputation of an arm to the periling of life
by doubt and procrastination!〃 But I know not if I am right; and
let us leave these comparisons。
Enough! There are moments; Wilhelm; when I could rise up and shake
it all off; and when; if I only knew where to go; I could fly from
this place。
THE SAME EVENING。
My diary; which I have for some time neglected; came before me
today; and I am amazed to see how deliberately I have entangled
myself step by step。 To have seen my position so clearly; and
yet to have acted so like a child! Even still I behold the
result plainly; and yet have no thought of acting with greater
prudence。
AUGUST lO。
If I were not a fool; I could spend the happiest and most delightful
life here。 So many agreeable circumstances; and of a kind to
ensure a worthy man's happiness; are seldom united。 Alas! I feel
it too sensibly; the heart alone makes our happiness! To be
admitted into this most charming family; to be loved by the father
as a son; by the children as a father; and by Charlotte! then the
noble Albert; who never disturbs my happiness by any appearance
of ill…humour; receiving me with the heartiest affection; and
loving me; next to Charlotte; better than all the world! Wilhelm;
you would be delighted to hear us in our rambles; and conversations
about Charlotte。 Nothing in the world can be more absurd than our
connection; and yet the thought of it often moves me to tears。
He tells me sometimes of her excellent mother; how; upon her
death…bed; she had committed her house and children to Charlotte;
and had given Charlotte herself in charge to him; how; since that
time; a new spirit had taken possession of her; how; in care and
anxiety for their welfare; she became a real mother to them; how
every moment of her time was devoted to some labour of love in
their behalf; and yet her mirth and cheerfulness had never
forsaken her。 I walk by his side; pluck flowers by the way; arrange
them carefully into a nosegay; then fling them into the first
stream I pass; and watch them as they float gently away。 I forget
whether I told you that Albert is to remain here。 He has received
a government appointment; with a very good salary; and I understand
he is in high favour at court。 I have met few persons so punctual
and methodical in business。
AUGUST 12。
Certainly Albert is the best fellow in the world。 I had a strange
scene with him yesterday。 I went to take leave of him; for I took
it into my head to spend a few days in these mountains; from where
I now write to you。 As I was walking up and down his room; my eye
fell upon his pistols。 〃Lend me those pistols;〃 said I; 〃for my
journey。〃 〃By all means;〃 he replied; 〃if you will take the
trouble to load them; for they only hang there for form。〃 I
took down one of them; and he continued; 〃Ever since I was near
suffering for my extreme caution; I will have nothing to do with
such things。〃 I was curious to hear the story。 〃I was staying;〃
said he; 〃some three months ago; at a friend's house in the country。
I had a brace of pistols with me; unloaded; and I s