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held their hands in mine； I should not feel it at all。Do you
think that they are on the way？ Christophe is so stupid； I ought
to have gone myself。 HE will see them。 But you went to the ball
yesterday； just tell me how they looked。 They did not know that I
was ill； did they； or they would not have been dancing； poor
little things？ Oh！ I must not be ill any longer。 They stand too
much in need of me； their fortunes are in danger。 And such
husbands as they are bound to！ I must get well！ （Oh！ what pain
this is！ what pain this is！ 。 。 。 ah！ ah！）I must get well； you
see； for they MUST have money； and I know how to set about making
some。 I will go to Odessa and manufacture starch there。 I am an
old hand； I will make millions。 （Oh！ this is agony！）〃
Goriot was silent for a moment； it seemed to require his whole
strength to endure the pain。
〃If they were here； I should not complain；〃 he said。 〃So why
should I complain now？〃
He seemed to grow drowsy with exhaustion； and lay quietly for a
long time。 Christophe came back； and Rastignac； thinking that
Goriot was asleep； allowed the man to give his story aloud。
〃First of all； sir； I went to Madame la Comtesse；〃 he said； 〃but
she and her husband were so busy that I couldn't get to speak to
her。 When I insisted that I must see her； M。 de Restaud came out
to me himself； and went on like this： 'M。 Goriot is dying； is he？
Very well； it is the best thing he can do。 I want Mme。 de Restaud
to transact some important business； when it is all finished she
can go。' The gentleman looked angry； I thought。 I was just going
away when Mme。 de Restaud came out into an ante…chamber through a
door that I did not notice； and said； 'Christophe； tell my father
that my husband wants me to discuss some matters with him； and I
cannot leave the house； the life or death of my children is at
stake； but as soon as it is over； I will come。' As for Madame la
Baronne； that is another story！ I could not speak to her either；
and I did not even see her。 Her waiting…woman said； 'Ah yes； but
madame only came back from a ball at a quarter to five this
morning； she is asleep now； and if I wake her before mid…day she
will be cross。 As soon as she rings； I will go and tell her that
her father is worse。 It will be time enough then to tell her bad
news！' I begged and I prayed； but； there！ it was no good。 Then I
asked for M。 le Baron； but he was out。〃
〃To think that neither of his daughters should come！〃 exclaimed
Rastignac。 〃I will write to them both。〃
〃Neither of them！〃 cried the old man； sitting upright in bed。
〃They are busy； they are asleep； they will not come！ I knew that
they would not。 Not until you are dying do you know your
children。 。 。 。 Oh！ my friend； do not marry； do not have
children！ You give them life； they give you your deathblow。 You
bring them into the world； and they send you out of it。 No； they
will not come。 I have known that these ten years。 Sometimes I
have told myself so； but I did not dare to believe it。〃
The tears gathered and stood without overflowing the red sockets。
〃Ah！ if I were rich still； if I had kept my money； if I had not
given all to them； they would be with me now； they would fawn on
me and cover my cheeks with their kisses！ I should be living in a
great mansion； I should have grand apartments and servants and a
fire in my room； and THEY would be about me all in tears； and
their husbands and their children。 I should have had all that；
nowI have nothing。 Money brings everything to you； even your
daughters。 My money。 Oh！ where is my money？ If I had plenty of
money to leave behind me； they would nurse me and tend me； I
should hear their voices； I should see their faces。 Ah； God！ who
knows？ They both of them have hearts of stone。 I loved them too
much； it was not likely that they should love me。 A father ought
always to be rich； he ought to keep his children well in hand；
like unruly horses。 I have gone down on my knees to them。
Wretches！ this is the crowning act that brings the last ten years
to a proper close。 If you but knew how much they made of me just
after they were married。 （Oh！ this is cruel torture！） I had just
given them each eight hundred thousand francs； they were bound to
be civil to me after that； and their husbands too were civil。 I
used to go to their houses： it was 'My kind father' here； 'My
dear father' there。 There was always a place for me at their
tables。 I used to dine with their husbands now and then； and they
were very respectful to me。 I was still worth something； they
thought。 How should they know？ I had not said anything about my
affairs。 It is worth while to be civil to a man who has given his
daughters eight hundred thousand francs apiece； and they showed
me every attention thenbut it was all for my money。 Grand
people are not great。 I found that out by experience！ I went to
the theatre with them in their carriage； I might stay as long as
I cared to stay at their evening parties。 In fact； they
acknowleged me their father； publicly they owned that they were
my daughters。 But I was always a shrewd one； you see； and nothing
was lost upon me。 Everything went straight to the mark and
pierced my heart。 I saw quite well that it was all sham and
pretence； but there is no help for such things as these。 I felt
less at my ease at their dinner…table than I did downstairs here。
I had nothing to say for myself。 So these grand folks would ask
in my son…in…law's ear； 'Who may that gentleman be？''The
father…in…law with the money bags； he is very rich。''The devil；
e is！' they would say； and look again at me with the respect due
to my money。 Well； if I was in the way sometimes； I paid dearly
for my mistakes。 And besides； who is perfect？ （My head is one
sore！） Dear Monsieur Eugene； I am suffering so now； that a man
might die of the pain； but it is nothing to be compared with the
pain I endured when Anastasie made me feel； for the first time；
that I had said something stupid。 She looked at me； and that
glance of hers opened all my veins。 I used to want to know
everything； to be learned； and one thing I did learn thoroughly
I knew that I was not wanted here on earth。
〃The next day I went to Delphine for comfort； and what should I
do there but make some stupid blunder that made her angry with
me。 I was like one driven out of his senses。 For a week I did not
know what to do； I did not dare to go to see them for fear they
should reproach me。 And that was how they both turned me out of
the house。
〃Oh God！ Thou knowest all the misery and anguish that I have
endured； Thou hast counted all the wounds that have been dealt to
me in these years that have aged and changed me and whitened my
hair and drained my life； why dost Thou make me to suffer so to…
day？ Have I not more than expiated the sin of loving them too
much？ They themselves have been the instruments of vengeance；
they have tortured me for my sin of affection。
〃Ah； well！