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LADY FROTH。 He； ay； is not it？ And then I call my lord Spumoso；
and myself； what d'ye think I call myself？
BRISK。 Lactilla； may be；i'gad； I cannot tell。
LADY FROTH。 Biddy； that's all； just my own name。
BRISK。 Biddy！ I'gad； very pretty。 Deuce take me if your ladyship
has not the art of surprising the most naturally in the world。 I
hope you'll make me happy in communicating the poem。
LADY FROTH。 Oh； you must be my confidant； I must ask your advice。
BRISK。 I'm your humble servant； let me perish。 I presume your
ladyship has read Bossu？
LADY FROTH。 Oh yes； and Racine； and Dacier upon Aristotle and
Horace。 My lord； you must not be jealous； I'm communicating all to
Mr。 Brisk。
LORD FROTH。 No； no； I'll allow Mr。 Brisk； have you nothing about
you to shew him； my dear？
LADY FROTH。 Yes； I believe I have。 Mr。 Brisk； come； will you go
into the next room？ and there I'll shew you what I have。
LORD FROTH。 I'll walk a turn in the garden； and come to you。
SCENE III。
MELLEFONT； CYNTHIA。
MEL。 You're thoughtful； Cynthia？
CYNT。 I'm thinking； though marriage makes man and wife one flesh；
it leaves 'em still two fools； and they become more conspicuous by
setting off one another。
MEL。 That's only when two fools meet； and their follies are
opposed。
CYNT。 Nay； I have known two wits meet； and by the opposition of
their wit render themselves as ridiculous as fools。 'Tis an odd
game we're going to play at。 What think you of drawing stakes； and
giving over in time？
MEL。 No； hang't； that's not endeavouring to win； because it's
possible we may lose； since we have shuffled and cut； let's even
turn up trump now。
CYNT。 Then I find it's like cards； if either of us have a good hand
it is an accident of fortune。
MEL。 No； marriage is rather like a game at bowls： fortune indeed
makes the match； and the two nearest； and sometimes the two
farthest； are together； but the game depends entirely upon judgment。
CYNT。 Still it is a game； and consequently one of us must be a
loser。
MEL。 Not at all； only a friendly trial of skill； and the winnings
to be laid out in an entertainment。 What's here； the music？ Oh； my
lord has promised the company a new song； we'll get 'em to give it
us by the way。 ＇Musicians crossing the stage。＇ Pray let us have
the favour of you； to practise the song before the company hear it。
SONG。
I。
Cynthia frowns whene'er I woo her；
Yet she's vext if I give over；
Much she fears I should undo her；
But much more to lose her lover：
Thus； in doubting； she refuses；
And not winning； thus she loses。
II。
Prithee； Cynthia； look behind you；
Age and wrinkles will o'ertake you；
Then too late desire will find you；
When the power must forsake you：
Think； O think o' th' sad condition；
To be past； yet wish fruition。
MEL。 You shall have my thanks below。 ＇To the musicians； they go
out。＇
SCENE IV。
＇To them＇ SIR PAUL PLYANT and LADY PLYANT。
SIR PAUL。 Gadsbud！ I am provoked into a fermentation； as my Lady
Froth says； was ever the like read of in story？
LADY PLYANT。 Sir Paul； have patience； let me alone to rattle him
up。
SIR PAUL。 Pray； your ladyship； give me leave to be angry。 I'll
rattle him up； I warrant you； I'll firk him with a CERTIORARI。
LADY PLYANT。 You firk him； I'll firk him myself； pray； Sir Paul；
hold you contented。
CYNT。 Bless me； what makes my father in such a passion？ I never
saw him thus before。
SIR PAUL。 Hold yourself contented； my Lady Plyant。 I find passion
coming upon me by inflation； and I cannot submit as formerly；
therefore give way。
LADY PLYANT。 How now！ will you be pleased to retire and …
SIR PAUL。 No； marry will I not be pleased： I am pleased to be
angry； that's my pleasure at this time。
MEL。 What can this mean？
LADY PLYANT。 Gads my life； the man's distracted； why； how now； who
are you？ What am I？ Slidikins； can't I govern you？ What did I
marry you for？ Am I not to be absolute and uncontrollable？ Is it
fit a woman of my spirit and conduct should be contradicted in a
matter of this concern？
SIR PAUL。 It concerns me and only me。 Besides； I'm not to be
governed at all times。 When I am in tranquillity； my Lady Plyant
shall command Sir Paul； but when I am provoked to fury； I cannot
incorporate with patience and reason： as soon may tigers match with
tigers； lambs with lambs； and every creature couple with its foe； as
the poet says。
LADY PLYANT。 He's hot…headed still！ 'Tis in vain to talk to you；
but remember I have a curtain…lecture for you； you disobedient；
headstrong brute。
SIR PAUL。 No； 'tis because I won't be headstrong； because I won't
be a brute； and have my head fortified； that I am thus exasperated。
But I will protect my honour； and yonder is the violator of my fame。
LADY PLYANT。 'Tis my honour that is concerned； and the violation
was intended to me。 Your honour！ You have none but what is in my
keeping； and I can dispose of it when I please： therefore don't
provoke me。
SIR PAUL。 Hum； gadsbud； she says true。 Well； my lady； march on； I
will fight under you； then： I am convinced； as far as passion will
permit。 ＇LADY PLYANT and SIR PAUL come up to MELLEFONT。＇
LADY PLYANT。 Inhuman and treacherous …
SIR PAUL。 Thou serpent and first tempter of womankind。
CYNT。 Bless me！ Sir； madam； what mean you？
SIR PAUL。 Thy； Thy； come away； Thy； touch him not。 Come hither；
girl； go not near him； there's nothing but deceit about him。 Snakes
are in his peruke； and the crocodile of Nilus is in his belly； he
will eat thee up alive。
LADY PLYANT。 Dishonourable； impudent creature！
MEL。 For heav'n's sake； madam； to whom do you direct this language？
LADY PLYANT。 Have I behaved myself with all the decorum and nicety
befitting the person of Sir Paul's wife？ Have I preserved my honour
as it were in a snow…house for these three years past？ Have I been
white and unsullied even by Sir Paul himself？
SIR PAUL。 Nay； she has been an invincible wife； even to me； that's
the truth on't。
LADY PLYANT。 Have I； I say； preserved myself like a fair sheet of
paper for you to make a blot upon？
SIR PAUL。 And she shall make a simile with any woman in England。
MEL。 I am so amazed； I know not what to say。
SIR PAUL。 Do you think my daughter； this pretty creaturegadsbud；
she's a wife for a cherubim！do you think her fit for nothing but
to be a stalking horse； to stand before you； while you take aim at
my wife？ Gadsbud； I was never angry before in my life； and I'll
never be appeased again。
MEL。 Hell and damnation！ This is my aunt； such malice can be
engendered nowhere else。 ＇Aside。＇
LADY PLYANT。 Sir Paul； take Cynthia from his sight； leave me to
strike him with the remorse of his int