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LADY FROTH。 He; ay; is not it? And then I call my lord Spumoso;
and myself; what d'ye think I call myself?
BRISK。 Lactilla; may be;i'gad; I cannot tell。
LADY FROTH。 Biddy; that's all; just my own name。
BRISK。 Biddy! I'gad; very pretty。 Deuce take me if your ladyship
has not the art of surprising the most naturally in the world。 I
hope you'll make me happy in communicating the poem。
LADY FROTH。 Oh; you must be my confidant; I must ask your advice。
BRISK。 I'm your humble servant; let me perish。 I presume your
ladyship has read Bossu?
LADY FROTH。 Oh yes; and Racine; and Dacier upon Aristotle and
Horace。 My lord; you must not be jealous; I'm communicating all to
Mr。 Brisk。
LORD FROTH。 No; no; I'll allow Mr。 Brisk; have you nothing about
you to shew him; my dear?
LADY FROTH。 Yes; I believe I have。 Mr。 Brisk; come; will you go
into the next room? and there I'll shew you what I have。
LORD FROTH。 I'll walk a turn in the garden; and come to you。
SCENE III。
MELLEFONT; CYNTHIA。
MEL。 You're thoughtful; Cynthia?
CYNT。 I'm thinking; though marriage makes man and wife one flesh;
it leaves 'em still two fools; and they become more conspicuous by
setting off one another。
MEL。 That's only when two fools meet; and their follies are
opposed。
CYNT。 Nay; I have known two wits meet; and by the opposition of
their wit render themselves as ridiculous as fools。 'Tis an odd
game we're going to play at。 What think you of drawing stakes; and
giving over in time?
MEL。 No; hang't; that's not endeavouring to win; because it's
possible we may lose; since we have shuffled and cut; let's even
turn up trump now。
CYNT。 Then I find it's like cards; if either of us have a good hand
it is an accident of fortune。
MEL。 No; marriage is rather like a game at bowls: fortune indeed
makes the match; and the two nearest; and sometimes the two
farthest; are together; but the game depends entirely upon judgment。
CYNT。 Still it is a game; and consequently one of us must be a
loser。
MEL。 Not at all; only a friendly trial of skill; and the winnings
to be laid out in an entertainment。 What's here; the music? Oh; my
lord has promised the company a new song; we'll get 'em to give it
us by the way。 'Musicians crossing the stage。' Pray let us have
the favour of you; to practise the song before the company hear it。
SONG。
I。
Cynthia frowns whene'er I woo her;
Yet she's vext if I give over;
Much she fears I should undo her;
But much more to lose her lover:
Thus; in doubting; she refuses;
And not winning; thus she loses。
II。
Prithee; Cynthia; look behind you;
Age and wrinkles will o'ertake you;
Then too late desire will find you;
When the power must forsake you:
Think; O think o' th' sad condition;
To be past; yet wish fruition。
MEL。 You shall have my thanks below。 'To the musicians; they go
out。'
SCENE IV。
'To them' SIR PAUL PLYANT and LADY PLYANT。
SIR PAUL。 Gadsbud! I am provoked into a fermentation; as my Lady
Froth says; was ever the like read of in story?
LADY PLYANT。 Sir Paul; have patience; let me alone to rattle him
up。
SIR PAUL。 Pray; your ladyship; give me leave to be angry。 I'll
rattle him up; I warrant you; I'll firk him with a CERTIORARI。
LADY PLYANT。 You firk him; I'll firk him myself; pray; Sir Paul;
hold you contented。
CYNT。 Bless me; what makes my father in such a passion? I never
saw him thus before。
SIR PAUL。 Hold yourself contented; my Lady Plyant。 I find passion
coming upon me by inflation; and I cannot submit as formerly;
therefore give way。
LADY PLYANT。 How now! will you be pleased to retire and …
SIR PAUL。 No; marry will I not be pleased: I am pleased to be
angry; that's my pleasure at this time。
MEL。 What can this mean?
LADY PLYANT。 Gads my life; the man's distracted; why; how now; who
are you? What am I? Slidikins; can't I govern you? What did I
marry you for? Am I not to be absolute and uncontrollable? Is it
fit a woman of my spirit and conduct should be contradicted in a
matter of this concern?
SIR PAUL。 It concerns me and only me。 Besides; I'm not to be
governed at all times。 When I am in tranquillity; my Lady Plyant
shall command Sir Paul; but when I am provoked to fury; I cannot
incorporate with patience and reason: as soon may tigers match with
tigers; lambs with lambs; and every creature couple with its foe; as
the poet says。
LADY PLYANT。 He's hot…headed still! 'Tis in vain to talk to you;
but remember I have a curtain…lecture for you; you disobedient;
headstrong brute。
SIR PAUL。 No; 'tis because I won't be headstrong; because I won't
be a brute; and have my head fortified; that I am thus exasperated。
But I will protect my honour; and yonder is the violator of my fame。
LADY PLYANT。 'Tis my honour that is concerned; and the violation
was intended to me。 Your honour! You have none but what is in my
keeping; and I can dispose of it when I please: therefore don't
provoke me。
SIR PAUL。 Hum; gadsbud; she says true。 Well; my lady; march on; I
will fight under you; then: I am convinced; as far as passion will
permit。 'LADY PLYANT and SIR PAUL come up to MELLEFONT。'
LADY PLYANT。 Inhuman and treacherous …
SIR PAUL。 Thou serpent and first tempter of womankind。
CYNT。 Bless me! Sir; madam; what mean you?
SIR PAUL。 Thy; Thy; come away; Thy; touch him not。 Come hither;
girl; go not near him; there's nothing but deceit about him。 Snakes
are in his peruke; and the crocodile of Nilus is in his belly; he
will eat thee up alive。
LADY PLYANT。 Dishonourable; impudent creature!
MEL。 For heav'n's sake; madam; to whom do you direct this language?
LADY PLYANT。 Have I behaved myself with all the decorum and nicety
befitting the person of Sir Paul's wife? Have I preserved my honour
as it were in a snow…house for these three years past? Have I been
white and unsullied even by Sir Paul himself?
SIR PAUL。 Nay; she has been an invincible wife; even to me; that's
the truth on't。
LADY PLYANT。 Have I; I say; preserved myself like a fair sheet of
paper for you to make a blot upon?
SIR PAUL。 And she shall make a simile with any woman in England。
MEL。 I am so amazed; I know not what to say。
SIR PAUL。 Do you think my daughter; this pretty creaturegadsbud;
she's a wife for a cherubim!do you think her fit for nothing but
to be a stalking horse; to stand before you; while you take aim at
my wife? Gadsbud; I was never angry before in my life; and I'll
never be appeased again。
MEL。 Hell and damnation! This is my aunt; such malice can be
engendered nowhere else。 'Aside。'
LADY PLYANT。 Sir Paul; take Cynthia from his sight; leave me to
strike him with the remorse of his int