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LADY PLYANT。 O Lord！ sir； pardon me； we women have not those
advantages； I know my imperfections。 But at the same time you must
give me leave to declare in the face of the world that nobody is
more sensible of favours and things； for with the reserve of my
honour I assure you； Mr。 Careless； I don't know anything in the
world I would refuse to a person so meritorious。 You'll pardon my
want of expression。
CARE。 O； your ladyship is abounding in all excellence； particularly
that of phrase。
LADY PLYANT。 You are so obliging； sir。
CARE。 Your ladyship is so charming。
SIR PAUL。 So； now； now； now； my lady。
LADY PLYANT。 So well bred。
CARE。 So surprising。
LADY PLYANT。 So well dressed； so BONNE MINE； so eloquent； so
unaffected； so easy； so free； so particular； so agreeable。
SIR PAUL。 Ay； so； so； there。
CARE。 O Lord； I beseech you madam； don't。
LADY PLYANT。 So gay； so graceful； so good teeth； so fine shape； so
fine limbs； so fine linen； and I don't doubt but you have a very
good skin； sir；
CARE。 For heaven's sake； madam； I'm quite out of countenance。
SIR PAUL。 And my lady's quite out of breath； or else you should
hearGads…bud； you may talk of my Lady Froth。
CARE。 O fie； fie； not to be named of a day。 My Lady Froth is very
well in her accomplishments。 But it is when my Lady Plyant is not
thought of。 If that can ever be。
LADY PLYANT。 O； you overcome me。 That is so excessive。
SIR PAUL。 Nay； I swear and vow that was pretty。
CARE。 O； Sir Paul； you are the happiest man alive。 Such a lady！
that is the envy of her own sex； and the admiration of ours。
SIR PAUL。 Your humble servant。 I am； I thank heaven； in a fine way
of living； as I may say； peacefully and happily； and I think need
not envy any of my neighbours； blessed be providence。 Ay； truly；
Mr。 Careless； my lady is a great blessing； a fine； discreet； well…
spoken woman as you shall see； if it becomes me to say so； and we
live very comfortably together； she is a little hasty sometimes； and
so am I； but mine's soon over； and then I'm so sorry。O Mr。
Careless； if it were not for one thing …
SCENE VII。
CARELESS； SIR PAUL； LADY PLYANT； BOY with a letter。
LADY PLYANT。 How often have you been told of that； you jackanapes？
SIR PAUL。 Gad so； gad's…bud。 Tim； carry it to my lady； you should
have carried it to my lady first。
BOY。 'Tis directed to your worship。
SIR PAUL。 Well； well； my lady reads all letters first。 Child； do
so no more； d'ye hear； Tim。
BOY。 No； and please you。
SCENE VIII。
CARELESS； SIR PAUL； LADY PLYANT。
SIR PAUL。 A humour of my wife's： you know women have little
fancies。 But as I was telling you； Mr。 Careless； if it were not for
one thing； I should think myself the happiest man in the world；
indeed that touches me near； very near。
CARE。 What can that be； Sir Paul？
SIR PAUL。 Why； I have； I thank heaven； a very plentiful fortune； a
good estate in the country； some houses in town； and some money； a
pretty tolerable personal estate； and it is a great grief to me；
indeed it is； Mr。 Careless； that I have not a son to inherit this。
'Tis true I have a daughter； and a fine dutiful child she is； though
I say it； blessed be providence I may say； for indeed； Mr。 Careless；
I am mightily beholden to providence。 A poor unworthy sinner。 But
if I had a son！ Ah； that's my affliction； and my only affliction；
indeed I cannot refrain tears when it comes in my mind。 ＇Cries。＇
CARE。 Why； methinks that might be easily remediedmy lady's a fine
likely woman …
SIR PAUL。 Oh； a fine likely woman as you shall see in a summer's
day。 Indeed she is； Mr。 Careless； in all respects。
CARE。 And I should not have taken you to have been so old …
SIR PAUL。 Alas； that's not it； Mr。 Careless； ah！ that's not it； no；
no； you shoot wide of the mark a mile； indeed you do； that's not it；
Mr。 Careless； no； no； that's not it。
CARE。 No？ What can be the matter then？
SIR PAUL。 You'll scarcely believe me when I shall tell youmy lady
is so nice。 It's very strange； but it's true； too trueshe's so
very nice； that I don't believe she would touch a man for the world。
At least not above once a year； I'm sure I have found it so； and；
alas； what's once a year to an old man； who would do good in his
generation？ Indeed it's true； Mr。 Careless； it breaks my heart。 I
am her husband； as I may say； though far unworthy of that honour；
yet I am her husband； but alas…a…day； I have no more familiarity
with her personas to that matterthan with my own motherno
indeed。
CARE。 Alas…a…day； this is a lamentable story。 My lady must be told
on't。 She must i'faith； Sir Paul； 'tis an injury to the world。
SIR PAUL。 Ah！ would to heaven you would； Mr。 Careless； you are
mightily in her favour。
CARE。 I warrant you； what！ we must have a son some way or other。
SIR PAUL。 Indeed I should be mightily bound to you if you could
bring it about； Mr。 Careless。
LADY PLYANT。 Here； Sir Paul； it's from your steward。 Here's a
return of 600 pounds； you may take fifty of it for the next half
year。 ＇Gives him the letter。＇
SCENE IX。
＇To them＇ LORD FROTH； CYNTHIA。
SIR PAUL。 How does my girl？ Come hither to thy father； poor lamb：
thou'rt melancholic。
LORD FROTH。 Heaven； Sir Paul； you amaze me； of all things in the
world。 You are never pleased but when we are all upon the broad
grin： all laugh and no company； ah； then 'tis such a sight to see
some teeth。 Sure you're a great admirer of my Lady Whifler； Mr。
Sneer； and Sir Laurence Loud； and that gang。
SIR PAUL。 I vow and swear she's a very merry woman； but I think she
laughs a little too much。
LORD FROTH。 Merry！ O Lord； what a character that is of a woman of
quality。 You have been at my Lady Whifler's upon her day； madam？
CYNT。 Yes； my lord。 I must humour this fool。 ＇Aside。＇
LORD FROTH。 Well； and how？ hee！ What is your sense of the
conversation？
CYNT。 Oh； most ridiculous； a perpetual comfort of laughing without
any harmony； for sure； my lord； to laugh out of time； is as
disagreeable as to sing out of time or out of tune。
LORD FROTH。 Hee； hee； hee； right； and then； my Lady Whifler is so
readyshe always comes in three bars too soon。 And then； what do
they laugh at？ For you know laughing without a jest is as
impertinent； hee！ as； as …
CYNT。 As dancing without a fiddle。
LORD FROTH。 Just i'faith； that was at my tongue's end。
CYNT。 But that cannot be properly said of them； for I think they
are all in good nature with the world； and only laugh at one
another； and you must allow they have all jests in their persons；
though they have none in their conversation。
LORD FROTH。 True； as I'm a person of honour。 For heaven's sake let
us sacrifice 'em to mirth a little。 ＇Enter BOY a