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now that at any moment the great change might come and he might awaken somewhere else; in quite another place。 If he had been like other men and I had been like other girls; I suppose that after that night when I heard the truth I should have been plunged into the darkest woe and have almost sobbed myself to death。 Why did I not? I do not know except except that I felt that no darkness could come between us because no darkness could touch him。 He could never be anything but alive alive。 If I could not see him it would only be because my eyes were not clear and strong enough。 I seemed to be waiting for something。 I wanted to keep near him。
I was full of this feeling as we sat together on the terrace and watched the moon。 I could scarcely look away from him。 He was rather pale that evening; but there seemed to be a light behind his pallor; and his eyes seemed to see so much more than the purple and yellow of the heather and gorse as they rested on them。
After I had watched him silently for a little while I leaned forward and pointed to a part of the moor where there was an unbroken blaze of gorse in full bloom like a big patch of gold。
〃That is where I was sitting when Wee Brown Elspeth was first brought to me;〃 I said。
He sat upright and looked。 〃Is it?〃 he answered。 〃Will you take me there to…morrow? I have always wanted to see the place。〃
〃Would you like to go early in the morning? The mist is more likely to be there then; as it was that day。 It is so mysterious and beautiful。 Would you like to do that?〃 I asked him。
〃Better than anything else!〃 he said。 〃Yes; let us go in the morning。〃
〃Wee Brown Elspeth seems very near me this evening;〃 I said。 〃I feel as if〃 I broke off and began again。 〃I have a puzzled feeling about her。 This afternoon I found some manuscript pushed behind a book on a high shelf in the library。 Angus said he had hidden it there because it was a savage story he did not wish me to read。 It was the history of the feud between Ian Red Hand and Dark Malcolm of the Glen。 Dark Malcolm's child was called Wee Brown Elspeth hundreds of years ago five hundred; I think。 It makes me feel so bewildered when I remember the one I played with。〃
〃It was a bloody story;〃 he said。 〃I heard it only a few days before we met at Sir Ian's house in London。〃
That made me recall something。
〃Was that why you started when I told you about Elspeth?〃 I asked。
〃Yes。 Perhaps the one you played with was a little descendant who had inherited her name;〃 he answered; a trifle hurriedly。 〃I confess I was startled for a moment。〃
I put my hand up to my forehead and rubbed it unconsciously。 I could not help seeing a woesome picture。
〃Poor little soul; with the blood pouring from her heart and her brown hair spread over her dead father's breast!〃 I stopped; because a faint memory came back to me。 〃Mine;〃 I stammered〃minehow strange!had a great stain on the embroideries of her dress。 She looked at itand looked。 She looked as if she didn't like itas if she didn't understand how it came there。 She covered it with ferns and bluebells。〃
I felt as if I were being drawn away into a dream。 I made a sudden effort to come back。 I ceased rubbing my forehead and dropped my hand; sitting upright。
〃I must ask Angus and Jean to tell me about her;〃 I said。 〃Of course; they must have known。 I wonder why I never thought of asking questions before。〃
It was a strange look I met when I involuntarily turned toward himsuch an absorbed; strange; tender look!
I knew he sat quite late in the library that night; talking to Angus after his mother and I went to our rooms。 Just as I was falling asleep I remember there floated through my mind a vague recollection of what Angus had said to me of asking his advice about something; and I wondered if he would reach the subject in their talk; or if they would spend all their time in poring over manuscripts and books together。
The moor wore its most mysterious look when I got up in the early morning。 It had hidden itself in its softest snows of white; swathing mist。 Only here and there dark fir…trees showed themselves above it; and now and then the whiteness thinned or broke and drifted。 It was as I had wanted him to see itjust as I had wanted to walk through it with him。
We had met in the hall as we had planned; and; wrapped in our plaids because the early morning air was cold; we tramped away together。 No one but myself could ever realize what it was like。 I had never known that there could be such a feeling of companionship in the world。 It would not have been necessary for us to talk at all if we had felt silent。 We should have been saying things to each other without words。 But we did talk as we walkedin quiet voices which seemed made quieter by the mist; and of quiet things which such voices seemed to belong to。
We crossed the park to a stile in a hedge where a path led at once on to the moor。 Part of the park itself had once been moorland; and was dark with slender firs and thick grown with heather and broom。 On the moor the mist grew thicker; and if I had not so well known the path we might have lost ourselves in it。 Also I knew by heart certain little streams that rushed and made guiding sounds which were sometimes loud whispers and sometimes singing babbles。 The damp; sweet scent of fern and heather was in our nostrils; as we climbed we breathed its freshness。
〃There is a sort of unearthly loveliness in it all;〃 Hector MacNairn said to me。 His voice was rather like his mother's。 It always seemed to say so much more than his words。
〃We might be ghosts;〃 I answered。 〃We might be some of those the mist hides because they like to be hidden。〃
〃You would not be afraid if you met one of them?〃 he said。
〃No。 I think I am sure of that。 I should feel that it was only like myself; and; if I could hear; might tell me things I want to know。〃
〃What do you want to know?〃 he asked me; very low。 〃You!〃
〃Only what everybody wants to knowthat it is really AWAKENING free; ready for wonderful new things; finding oneself in the midst of wonders。 I don't mean angels with harps and crowns; but beauty such as we see now; only seeing it without burdens of fears before and behind us。 And knowing there is no reason to be afraid。 We have all been so afraid。 We don't know how afraid we have beenof everything。〃
I stopped among the heather and threw my arms out wide。 I drew in a great; joyous morning breath。
〃Free like that! It is the freeness; the light; splendid freeness; I think of most。〃
〃The freeness!〃 he repeated。 〃Yes; the freeness!〃
〃As for beauty;〃 I almost whispered; in a sort of reverence for visions I remembered; 〃I have stood on this moor a thousand times and seen loveliness which made me tremble。 One's soul could want no more in any life。 But ‘Out on the Hillside' I KNEW I was part of it; and it was ecstasy。 That was the freeness。〃
〃Yesit was the freeness;〃 he answered。
We brushed through the heather and the bracken; and flower…bells shook showers of radiant drops upon us。 The mist wavered and sometimes lifted before us; and opened up mystic vistas to veil them again a few minutes la