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of Mr。 Grant！ I ought not to have gone away！〃
〃Nothing of the sort！〃 said Arctura； drawing herself up a little。 〃I
am sorry if I have said anything wrong； but really I can get hold of
nothing！ I feel sometimes as if I should go out of my mind。〃
〃Arctura； I have done my best for you！ If you think you have found a
better teacher； no warning； I fear； will any longer avail！〃
〃If I did think I had found a better teacher； no warning certainly
would； I am only afraid I have not。 But of one thing I am surethat
the things Mr。 Grant teaches are much more to be desired than〃
〃By the unsanctified heart； no doubt！〃 said Sophia。
〃The unsanctified heart；〃 rejoined Arctura； astonished at her own
boldness； and the sense of power and freedom growing in her as she
spoke； 〃surely needs God as much as the sanctified！ But can the
heart be altogether unsanctified that desires to find God so
beautiful and good that it can worship him with its whole power of
love and adoration？ Or is God less beautiful and good than that？〃
〃We ought to worship God whatever he is。〃
〃But could we love him with all our hearts if he were not altogether
lovable？〃
〃He might not be the less to be worshipped though he seemed so to
us。 We must worship his justice as much as his love； his power as
much as his justice。〃
Arctura returned no answer； the words had fallen on her heart like
an ice…berg。 She was not； however； so utterly overwhelmed by them as
she would have been some time before； she thought with herself； 〃I
will ask Mr。 Grant！ I am sure he does not think like that！ Worship
power as much as love！ I begin to think she does not understand what
she is talking about！ If I were to make a creature needing all my
love to make life endurable to him； and then not be kind enough to
him； should I not be cruel？ Would I not be to blame？ Can God be God
and do anything conceivably to blameanything that is not
altogether beautiful？ She tells me we cannot judge what it would be
right for God to do by what it would be right for us to do： if what
seems right to me is not right to God； I must wrong my conscience
and be a sinner in order to serve him！ Then my conscience is not the
voice of God in me！ How then am I made in his image？ What does it
mean？ Ah； but that image has been defaced by the fall！ So I cannot
tell a bit what God is like？ Then how am I to love him？ I never can
love him！ I am very miserable！ I am not God's child！
Thus； long after Miss Carmichael had taken a coldly sorrowful
farewell of her； Arctura went round and round the old mill…horse
rack of her self…questioning： God was not to be trusted in until she
had done something she could not do； upon which he would take her
into his favour； and then she could trust him！ What a God to give
all her heart to； to long for； to dream of being at home with！ Then
she compared Miss Carmichael and Donal Grant； and thought whether
Donal might not be as likely to be right as she。 Oh； where was
assurance； where was certainty about anything！ How was she ever to
know？ What if the thing she came to know for certain should bea
God she could not love！
The next day was Sunday。 Davie and his tutor overtook her going home
from church。 It came as of itself to her lips； and she said；
〃Mr。 Grant； how are we to know what God is like？〃
〃'Philip saith unto him； Lord； show us the Father and it sufficeth
us。 Jesus saith unto him； Have I been so long time with you； and yet
hast thou not known me； Philip？ He that hath seen me hath seen the
father； and how sayest thou then； Show us the father？'〃
Thus answered Donal； without a word of his own； and though the three
walked side by side； it was ten minutes before another was spoken。
Then at last said Arctura；
〃If I could but see Christ！〃
〃It is not necessary to see him to know what he is like。 You can
read what those who knew him said he was like； that is the first
step to understanding him； which is the true seeing； the second is；
doing what he tells you： when you understand himthere is your
God！〃
》From that day Arctura's search took a new departure。 It is strange
how often one may hear a thing； yet never have really heard it！ The
heart can hear only what it is capable of hearing； therefore 〃the
times of this ignorance God winked at；〃 but alas for him who will
not hear what he is capable of hearing！
His failure to get word or even sight of Eppy； together with some
uneasiness at the condition in which her grandfather continued；
induced lord Forgue to accept the invitationwhich his father had
taken pains to have sent himto spend three weeks or a month with a
relative in the north of England。 He would gladly have sent a
message to Eppy before he went； but had no one he could trust with
it： Davie was too much under the influence of his tutor！ So he
departed without sign； and Eppy soon imagined he had deserted her。
For a time her tears flowed yet more freely； but by and by she began
to feel something of relief in having the matter settled； for she
could not see how they were ever to be married。 She would have been
content to love him always； she said to herself； were there no
prospect of marriage； or even were there no marriage in question；
but would he continue to care for her love？ She did not think she
could expect that。 So with many tears she gave him upor thought
she did。 He had loved her； and that was a grand thing！
There was much that was good； and something that was wise in the
girl； notwithstanding her folly in allowing such a lover。 The
temptation was great： even if his attentions were in their nature
but transient； they were sweet while they passed。 I doubt if her
love was of the deepest she had to give； but who can tell？ A woman
will love where a man can see nothing lovely。 So long as she is able
still to love； she is never quite to be pitied； but when the
reaction comes？
So the dull days went by。
But for lady Arctura a great hope had begun to dawnthe hope；
namely； that the world was in the hand； yea in the heart of One whom
she herself might one day see； in her inmost soul； and with clearest
eyes； to be Love itselfnot a love she could not care for； but the
very heart； generating centre； embracing circumference； and crown of
all loves。
Donal prayed to God for lady Arctura； and waited。 Her hour was not
yet come； but was coming！ Everyone that is ready the Father brings
to Jesus： the disciple is not greater than his master； and must not
think to hasten the hour； or lead one who is not yet taught of God；
he must not be miserable about another as if God had forgotten him。
Strange helpers of God we shall be； if； thinking to do his work； we
act as if he were neglecting it！ To wait for God； believing it his
one design to redeem his creatures； ready to put the hand to； the
moment his hour strikes； is the faith fit for a fellow…worker with
him！
CHAPTER XXXIX。
THE CASTLE…ROOF。
One stormy Friday night in the month of March； when a bitter east
wind was blowing； Donal； seated at the plain deal…table he had got
Mrs。 Brookes to find him that he might use it regardless of ink； was
drawing upon it a diagram； in quest of a simplification for Davie；
when a