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greatly to his astonishment：
〃Who sells his influence should stop it；
An honest man will only swap it。〃
The Rainmaker
AN Officer of the Government； with a great outfit of mule…waggons
loaded with balloons； kites； dynamite bombs； and electrical
apparatus； halted in the midst of a desert； where there had been no
rain for ten years； and set up a camp。 After several months of
preparation and an expenditure of a million dollars all was in
readiness； and a series of tremendous explosions occurred on the
earth and in the sky。 This was followed by a great down…pour of
rain； which washed the unfortunate Officer of the Government and
the outfit off the face of creation and affected the agricultural
heart with joy too deep for utterance。 A Newspaper Reporter who
had just arrived escaped by climbing a hill near by； and there he
found the Sole Survivor of the expedition … a mule…driver … down on
his knees behind a mesquite bush； praying with extreme fervour。
〃Oh； you can't stop it that way；〃 said the Reporter。
〃My fellow…traveller to the bar of God；〃 replied the Sole Survivor；
looking up over his shoulder； 〃your understanding is in darkness。
I am not stopping this great blessing； under Providence； I am
bringing it。〃
〃That is a pretty good joke；〃 said the Reporter； laughing as well
as he could in the strangling rain … 〃a mule driver's prayer
answered！〃
〃Child of levity and scoffing；〃 replied the other； 〃you err again；
misled by these humble habiliments。 I am the Rev。 Ezekiel Thrifft；
a minister of the gospel； now in the service of the great
manufacturing firm of Skinn & Sheer。 They make balloons； kites；
dynamite bombs； and electrical apparatus。〃
The Citizen and the Snakes
A PUBLIC…SPIRITED Citizen who had failed miserably in trying to
secure a National political convention for his city suffered
acutely from dejection。 While in that frame of mind he leaned
thoughtlessly against a druggist's show…window； wherein were one
hundred and fifty kinds of assorted snakes。 The glass breaking；
the reptiles all escaped into the street。
〃When you can't do what you wish；〃 said the Public…spirited
Citizen； 〃it is worth while to do what you can。〃
Fortune and the Fabulist
A WRITER of Fables was passing through a lonely forest when he met
a Fortune。 Greatly alarmed； he tried to climb a tree； but the
Fortune pulled him down and bestowed itself upon him with cruel
persistence。
〃Why did you try to run away？〃 said the Fortune； when his struggles
had ceased and his screams were stilled。 〃Why do you glare at me
so inhospitably？〃
〃I don't know what you are；〃 replied the Writer of Fables； deeply
disturbed。
〃I am wealth； I am respectability；〃 the Fortune explained； 〃I am
elegant houses； a yacht； and a clean shirt every day。 I am
leisure； I am travel； wine； a shiny hat； and an unshiny coat。 I am
enough to eat。〃
〃All right；〃 said the Writer of Fables； in a whisper； 〃but for
goodness' sake speak lower。〃
〃Why so？〃 the Fortune asked； in surprise。
〃So as not to wake me；〃 replied the Writer of Fables； a holy calm
brooding upon his beautiful face。
A Smiling Idol
AN Idol said to a Missionary； 〃My friend； why do you seek to bring
me into contempt？ If it had not been for me； what would you have
been？ Remember thy creator that thy days be long in the land。〃
〃I confess；〃 replied the Missionary； fingering a number of ten…cent
pieces which a Sunday…school in his own country had forwarded to
him； 〃that I am a product of you； but I protest that you cannot
quote Scripture with accuracy and point。 Therefore will I continue
to go up against you with the Sword of the Spirit。〃
Shortly afterwards the Idol's worshippers held a great religious
ceremony at the base of his pedestal； and as a part of the rites
the Missionary was roasted whole。 As the tongue was removed for
the high priest's table； 〃Ah；〃 said the Idol to himself； 〃that is
the Sword of the Spirit … the only Sword that is less dangerous
when unsheathed。〃
And he smiled so pleasantly at his own wit that the provinces of
Ghargaroo； M'gwana； and Scowow were affected with a blight。
Philosophers Three
A BEAR； a Fox； and an Opossum were attacked by an inundation。
〃Death loves a coward；〃 said the Bear； and went forward to fight
the flood。
〃What a fool！〃 said the Fox。 〃I know a trick worth two of that。〃
And he slipped into a hollow stump。
〃There are malevolent forces；〃 said the Opossum； 〃which the wise
will neither confront nor avoid。 The thing is to know the nature
of your antagonist。〃
So saying the Opossum lay down and pretended to be dead。
The Boneless King
SOME Apes who had deposed their king fell at once into dissension
and anarchy。 In this strait they sent a Deputation to a
neighbouring tribe to consult the Oldest and Wisest Ape in All the
World。
〃My children；〃 said the Oldest and Wisest Ape in All the World；
when he had heard the Deputation； 〃you did right in ridding
yourselves of tyranny； but your tribe is not sufficiently advanced
to dispense with the forms of monarchy。 Entice the tyrant back
with fair promises； kill him and enthrone。 The skeleton of even
the most lawless despot makes a good constitutional sovereign。〃
At this the Deputation was greatly abashed。 〃It is impossible；〃
they said； moving away； 〃our king has no skeleton； he was stuffed。〃
Uncalculating Zeal
A MAN…EATING tiger was ravaging the Kingdom of Damnasia； and the
King； greatly concerned for the lives and limbs of his Royal
subjects； promised his daughter Zodroulra to any man who would kill
the animal。 After some days Camaraladdin appeared before the King
and claimed the reward。
〃But where is the tiger？〃 the King asked。
〃May jackasses sing above my uncle's grave；〃 replied Camaraladdin；
〃if I dared go within a league of him！〃
〃Wretch！〃 cried the King； unsheathing his consoler…under…
disappointment； 〃how dare you claim my daughter when you have done
nothing to earn her？〃
〃Thou art wiser； O King； than Solyman the Great； and thy servant is
as dust in the tomb of thy dog； yet thou errest。 I did not； it is
true； kill the tiger； but behold！ I have brought thee the scalp of
the man who had accumulated five million pieces of gold and was
after more。〃
The King drew his consoler…under…disappointment； and； flicking of