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ch a funny idea of what I had a right to do and what I hadn't。 And I didn't spend so very much on out…and…out luxury。 But enough to spoil me for this life。〃
As Norman listened; as he notedin her appearance; manner; way of talkingthe many meaning signs of the girl hesitating at the fork of the roadshe felt within him the twinges of fear; of jealousyand through fear and jealousy; the twinges of conscience。 She was telling the truth。 He had undermined her ability to live in purity the life to which her earning power assigned her。 。 。 。 WHY had she been so friendly to him? Why had she received him in this informal; almost if not quite inviting fashion?
〃So you think I've changed?〃 she was saying。 〃WellI have。 Gracious; what a little fool I was!〃
His eyes lifted with an agonized question in them。
She flushed; glanced away; glanced at him again with the old; sweet expression of childlike innocence which had so often made him wonder whether it was merely a mannerism; or was a trick; or was indeed a beam from a pure soul。 〃I'm foolish stillin certain ways;〃 she said significantly。
〃And you always intend to be?〃 suggested he with a forced smile。
〃Ohyes;〃 replied shepositively enough; yet it somehow had not the full force of her simple short statements in the former days。
He believed her。 Perhaps because he wished to believe; must believe; would have been driven quite mad by disbelief。 Still; he believed。 As yet she was good。 But it would not last much longer。 With himor with some other。 If with him; then certainly afterward with anotherwith others。 No matter how jealously he might guard her; she would go that road; if once she entered it。 If he would have her for his very own he must strengthen her; not weaken her; must keep her 〃foolish stillin certain ways。〃
He said: 〃There's nothing in the other sort of life。〃
〃That's what they say;〃 replied she; with ominous irritation。 〃Stillsome girlsLOTS of girls seem to get on mighty well without being so terribly particular。〃
〃You ought to see them after a few years。〃
〃I'm only twenty…one;〃 laughed she。 〃I've got lots of time before I'm old。 。 。 。 You haven'tmarried?〃
〃No;〃 said he。
〃I thought I'd have heard; if you had。〃 She laughed queerlyagain shook out her hair; and it shimmered round her face and over her head and out from her shoulders like flames。 〃You've got a kind of aMr。 Tetlow way of talking。 It doesn't remind me of you as you were in Jersey City。〃
She said nothing; she suggested nothing that had the least impropriety in it; or faintest hint of impropriety。 It was nothing positive; nothing aggressive; but a certain vague negative something that gave him the impression of innocence still innocent but looking or trying to look tolerantly where it should not。 And he felt dizzy and sick; stricken with shame and remorse and jealous fear。 Yesshe was sliding slowly; gently; unconsciously down to the depth in which he had been lying; sick and shudderingno; to deeper depthsto the depths where there is no light; no trace of a return path。 And he had started her down。 He had done it when he; in his pride and selfishness; had ignored what the success of his project would mean for her。 But he knew now; in bitterness and shame and degradation he had learned。 〃I was infamous!〃 he said to himself。
She began to talk in a low; embarrassed voice:
〃Sometimes I think of getting married。 There's a young mana young lawyerhe makes twenty…five a week; but it'll be years and years before he has a good living。 A man doesn't get on fast in New York unless he has pull。〃
Norman; roused from his remorse; blazed inside。 〃You are in love with him?〃
She laughed; and he could not tell whether it was to tease him or to evade。
〃You'd not care about him long;〃 said Norman; 〃unless there were more money coming in than he'd be likely to get soon。 Love without money doesn't go at least; not in New York。〃
〃Do you suppose I don't know that?〃 said she with the irritation of one faced by a hateful fact。 〃StillI don't see what to do。〃
Norman; biting his lip and fuming and observing her with jealous eyes; said in the best voice he could command; 〃How long have you been in love with him?〃
〃Did I say I was in love?〃 mocked she。
〃You didn't say you weren't。 Who is he?〃
〃If you'll stay on about half an hour or so; you'll see him。 Noyou can't。 I've got to get dressed before I let him up。 He has very strict ideaswhere I'm concerned。〃
〃Then why did you let ME come up?〃 Norman said; with a penetrating glance。
She lowered her gaze and a faint flush stole into her cheeks。 Was it confession of the purpose he suspected? Or; was it merely embarrassment?
〃I heard of a case once;〃 continued Norman; his gaze significantly direct; 〃the case of a girl who was in love with a poor young fellow。 She wanted money luxury。 Also; she wanted the poor young fellow。〃
The color flamed into the girl's face; then left it pale。 Her white fingers fluttered with nervous grace into her masses of hair and back to her lap again; to rest there in timid quiet。
〃She knew another man;〃 pursued Norman; 〃one who was able to give her what she wanted in the way of comfort。 So; she decided to make an arrangement with the man; and keep it hidden from her loverand in that way get along pleasantly until her lover was in better circumstances 。〃
Her gaze was upon her hands; listless in her lap。 He felt that he had spoken her unspoken; probably unformed thoughts。 Yes; unformed。 Men and women; especially women; habitually pursued these unacknowledged andeven unformed purposes; in their conflicts of the desire to get what they wanted and their desire to appear well to themselves。
〃What would you think of an arrangement like that?〃 asked he; determined to draw her secret heart into the open where he could see; where she could see。
She lifted frank; guileless eyes to his。 〃I suppose the girl was trying to do the best she could。〃
〃What do you think of a girl who'd do that?〃
〃I don't judge anybodyany more。 I've found out that this world isn't at all as I thoughtas I was taught。〃
〃Would YOU do it?〃
She smiled faintly。 〃No;〃 she replied uncertainly。 Then she restored his wavering belief in her essential honesty and truthfulness by adding: 〃That is to say; I don't think I would。〃
She busied herself with her hair; feeling it to see whether it was not yet dry; spreading it out。 He looked at her unseeingly。 At last she said: 〃You must go。 I've got to get dressed。〃
〃YesI must be going;〃 said he absently; rising and reaching for his hat on the center table。
She stood up; put out her hand。 〃I'm glad you came。〃
〃Thank you;〃 said he; still in the same abstraction。 He shook hands with her; moved hesitatingly toward the door。 With his hand on the knob he turned and glanced keenly at her。 He surprised in her face a look of mystery of seriousness; of sadnesswas there anxiety in it; also? And then he saw a certain elusive reminder of her fatherand it brought to him with curious force the memory of how she had been brought up; of what must be hers by inheritance and by trainingshe; the daughter of a great and simple and noble man
〃Yo