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I did not forget。 I was quick with a new hope； or at any rate
with a new aspiration； and that secret child of holy desire grew
and grew within my soul； till at length it flashed upon me that
this soul of mine was itself the hidden Master from which I must
learn my lesson。 No wonder that those Eastern friends could not
give his name； seeing that whatever they really knew； as
distinguished from what they had heard； and it was little enough；
each of them had learned from the teaching of his own soul。
Thus； then； I too became a dreamer with only one longing； the
longing for wisdom； for that spirit touch which should open my
eyes and enable me to see。
Yet now it happened strangely enough that when I seemed within
myself to have little further interest in the things of the
world； and least of all in women； I； who had taken another guest
to dwell with me； those things of the world came back to me and
in the shape of Woman the Inevitable。 Probably it was so decreed
since is it not written that no man can live to himself alone； or
lose himself in watching and nurturing the growth of his own
soul？
It happened thus。 I went to Rome on my way home from India； and
stayed there a while。 On the day after my arrival I wrote my name
in the book of our Minister to Italy at that time； Sir Alfred
Upton； not because I wished him to ask me to dinner； but for the
reason that I had heard of him as a man of archeological tastes
and thought that he might enable me to see things which otherwise
I should not see。
As it chanced he knew about me through some of my Devonshire
neighbours who were friends of his； and did ask me to dinner on
the following night。 I accepted and found myself one of a
considerable party； some of them distinguished English people who
wore Orders； as is customary when one dines with the
representative of our Sovereign。 Seeing these； and this shows
that in the best of us vanity is only latent； for the first time
in my life I was sorry that I had none and was only plain Mr。
Arbuthnot who； as Sir Alfred explained to me politely； must go in
to dinner last； because all the rest had titles； and without even
a lady as there was not one to spare。
Nor was my lot bettered when I got there； as I found myself
seated between an Italian countess and a Russian prince； neither
of whom could talk English； while； alas； I knew no foreign
language； not even French in which they addressed me； seeming
surprised that I did not understand them。 I was humiliated at my
own ignorance； although in fact I was not ignorant； only my
education had been classical。 Indeed I was a good classic and had
kept up my knowledge more or less； especially since I became an
idle man。 In my confusion it occurred to me that the Italian
countess might know Latin from which her own language was
derived； and addressed her in that tongue。 She stared； and Sir
Alfred； who was not far off and overheard me （he also knew
Latin）； burst into laughter and proceeded to explain the joke in
a loud voice； first in French and then in English； to the
assembled company； who all became infected with merriment and
also stared at me as a curiosity。
Then it was that for the first time I saw Natalie； for owing to
a mistake of my driver I had arrived rather late and had not been
introduced to her。 As her father's only daughter； her mother
being dead； she was seated at the end of the table behind a
fan…like arrangement of white Madonna lilies； and she had bent
forward and； like the others； was looking at me； but in such a
fashion that her head from that distance seemed as though it were
surrounded and crowned with lilies。 Indeed the greatest art could
not have produced a more beautiful effect which was； however；
really one of naked accident。
An angel looking down upon earth through the lilies of
Heaventhat was the rather absurd thought which flashed into my
mind。 I did not quite realise her face at first except that it
seemed to be both dark and fair； as a fact her waving hair which
grew rather low upon her forehead； was dark； and her large； soft
eyes were grey。 I did not know； and to this moment I do not know
if she was really beautiful； but certainly the light that shone
through those eyes of hers and seemed to be reflected upon her
delicate features； was beauty itself。 It was like that glowing
through a thin vase of the purest alabaster within which a lamp
is placed； and I felt this effect to arise from no chance； like
that of the lily…setting； but； as it were； from the lamp of the
spirit within。
Our eyes met； and I suppose that she saw the wonder and
admiration in mine。 At any rate her amused smile faded； leaving
the face rather serious； though still sweetly serious； and a
tinge of colour crept over it as the first hue of dawn creeps
into a pearly sky。 Then she withdrew herself behind the screen of
lilies and for the rest of that dinner which I thought was never
coming to an end； practically I saw her no more。 Only I noted as
she passed out that although not tall； she was rounded and
graceful in shape and that her hands were peculiarly delicate。
Afterwards in the drawing…room her father； with whom I had
talked at the table； introduced me to her； saying：
〃My daughter is the real archaeologist； Mr。 Arbuthnot； and I
think if you ask her； she may be able to help you。〃
Then he bustled away to speak to some of his important guests；
from whom I think he was seeking political information。
〃My father exaggerates；〃 she said in a soft and very
sympathetic voice； 〃but perhaps〃and she motioned me to a seat
at her side。
Then we talked of the places and things that I more
particularly desired to see and； well； the end of it was that I
went back to my hotel in love with Natalie； and as she afterwards
confessed； she went to bed in love with me。
It was a curious business； more like meeting a very old friend
from whom one had been separated by circumstances for a score of
years or so than anything else。 We were； so to speak； intimate
from the first； we knew all about each other； although here and
there was something new； something different which we could not
remember； lines of thought； veins of memory which we did not
possess in common。 On one point I am absolutely clear： it was not
solely the everyday and ancient appeal of woman to man and man to
woman which drew us together； though doubtless this had its part
in our attachment as under our human conditions it must do；
seeing that it is Nature's bait to ensure the continuance of the
race。 It was something more； something quite beyond that
elementary impulse。
At any rate we loved； and one evening in the shelter of the
solemn walls of the great Coliseum at Rome； which at that hour
were shut to all except ourselves； we confessed our love。 I
really think we must have chosen the spot by tacit but mutual
consent because we felt it to be fitting。 It was so old； so
impre