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opened at that meal。
JULY 29TH
No； Barrie； 'tis in vain they try to alarm me with their bulletins。
No doubt； you're ill； and unco ill； I believe； but I have been so
often in the same case that I know pleurisy and pneumonia are in
vain against Scotsmen who can write； （I once could。） You cannot
imagine probably how near me this common calamity brings you。 CE
QUE J'AI TOUSSE DANS MA VIE！ How often and how long have I been on
the rack at night and learned to appreciate that noble passage in
the Psalms when somebody or other is said to be more set on
something than they 'who dig for hid treasures … yea； than those
who long for the morning' … for all the world； as you have been
racked and you have longed。 Keep your heart up； and you'll do。
Tell that to your mother； if you are still in any danger or
suffering。 And by the way； if you are at all like me … and I tell
myself you are very like me … be sure there is only one thing good
for you； and that is the sea in hot climates。 Mount； sir； into 'a
little frigot' of 5000 tons or so； and steer peremptorily for the
tropics； and what if the ancient mariner； who guides your frigot；
should startle the silence of the ocean with the cry of land ho！ …
say； when the day is dawning … and you should see the turquoise
mountain tops of Upolu coming hand over fist above the horizon？
Mr。 Barrie； sir； 'tis then there would be larks！ And though I
cannot be certain that our climate would suit you （for it does not
suit some）； I am sure as death the voyage would do you good … would
do you BEST … and if Samoa didn't do； you needn't stay beyond the
month； and I should have had another pleasure in my life； which is
a serious consideration for me。 I take this as the hand of the
Lord preparing your way to Vailima … in the desert； certainly … in
the desert of Cough and by the ghoul…haunted woodland of Fever …
but whither that way points there can be no question … and there
will be a meeting of the twa Hoasting Scots Makers in spite of
fate； fortune； and the Devil。 ABSIT OMEN！
My dear Barrie； I am a little in the dark about this new work of
yours： what is to become of me afterwards？ You say carefully …
methought anxiously … that I was no longer me when I grew up？ I
cannot bear this suspense： what is it？ It's no forgery？ And AM I
HANGIT？ These are the elements of a very pretty lawsuit which you
had better come to Samoa to compromise。 I am enjoying a great
pleasure that I had long looked forward to； reading Orme's HISTORY
OF INDOSTAN； I had been looking out for it everywhere； but at last；
in four volumes； large quarto； beautiful type and page； and with a
delectable set of maps and plans； and all the names of the places
wrongly spelled … it came to Samoa； little Barrie。 I tell you
frankly； you had better come soon。 I am sair failed a'ready； and
what I may be if you continue to dally； I dread to conceive。 I may
be speechless； already； or at least for a month or so； I'm little
better than a teetoller … I beg pardon； a teetotaller。 It is not
exactly physical； for I am in good health； working four or five
hours a day in my plantation； and intending to ride a paper…chase
next Sunday … ay； man； that's a fact； and I havena had the hert to
breathe it to my mother yet … the obligation's poleetical； for I am
trying every means to live well with my German neighbours … and； O
Barrie； but it's no easy！ To be sure； there are many exceptions。
And the whole of the above must be regarded as private … strictly
private。 Breathe it not in Kirriemuir： tell it not to the
daughters of Dundee！ What a nice extract this would make for the
daily papers！ and how it would facilitate my position here！ 。 。 。
AUGUST 5TH。
This is Sunday； the Lord's Day。 'The hour of attack approaches。'
And it is a singular consideration what I risk； I may yet be the
subject of a tract； and a good tract too … such as one which I
remember reading with recreant awe and rising hair in my youth； of
a boy who was a very good boy； and went to Sunday Schule； and one
day kipped from it； and went and actually bathed； and was dashed
over a waterfall； and he was the only son of his mother； and she
was a widow。 A dangerous trade； that； and one that I have to
practise。 I'll put in a word when I get home again； to tell you
whether I'm killed or not。 'Accident in the （Paper） Hunting Field：
death of a notorious author。 We deeply regret to announce the
death of the most unpopular man in Samoa； who broke his neck at the
descent of Magagi； from the misconduct of his little raving lunatic
of an old beast of a pony。 It is proposed to commemorate the
incident by the erection of a suitable pile。 The design （by our
local architect； Mr。 Walker） is highly artificial； with a rich and
voluminous Crockett at each corner； a small but impervious Barrieer
at the entrance； an arch at the top； an Archer of a pleasing but
solid character at the bottom； the colour will be genuine William…
Black； and Lang； lang may the ladies sit wi' their fans in their
hands。' Well； well； they may sit as they sat for me； and little
they'll reck； the ungrateful jauds！ Muckle they cared about
Tusitala when they had him！ But now ye can see the difference；
now； leddies； ye can repent； when ower late； o' your former
cauldness and what ye'll perhaps allow me to ca' your TEPEEDITY！
He was beautiful as the day； but his day is done！ And perhaps； as
he was maybe gettin' a wee thing fly…blawn； it's nane too shune。
MONDAY； AUGUST 6TH。
Well； sir； I have escaped the dangerous conjunction of the widow's
only son and the Sabbath Day。 We had a most enjoyable time； and
Lloyd and I were 3 and 4 to arrive； I will not tell here what
interval had elapsed between our arrival and the arrival of 1 and
2； the question； sir； is otiose and malign； it deserves； it shall
have no answer。 And now without further delay to the main purpose
of this hasty note。 We received and we have already in fact
distributed the gorgeous fahbrics of Kirriemuir。 Whether from the
splendour of the robes themselves； or from the direct nature of the
compliments with which you had directed us to accompany the
presentations； one young lady blushed as she received the proofs of
your munificence。 。 。 。 Bad ink； and the dregs of it at that； but
the heart in the right place。 Still very cordially interested in
my Barrie and wishing him well through his sickness； which is of
the body； and long defended from mine； which is of the head； and by
the impolite might be described as idiocy。 The whole head is
useless； and the whole sitting part painful： reason； the recent
Paper Chase。
There was racing and chasing in Vailile plantation；
And vastly we enjoyed it；
But； alas！ for the state of my foundation；
For it wholly has destroyed it。
Come； my mind is looking up。 The above is wholl