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crime of never having passed the line； so； make ready your swabs；
and lather me； your ship's scraper； and shave me； and let us get it
over。 But Lord Tadcaster is nervous； sensitive； prouder than he
seems； and I'm not going to have him driven into a fit for all the
Neptunes and Amphitrites in creation。〃
Fitzroy heard him out； then burst out laughing。 〃Why； there is
none of that game in the Royal Navy；〃 said he。 〃Hasn't been this
twenty years。〃
〃I'm so sorry；〃 said Dr。 Staines。 〃If there's a form of wit I
revere； it is practical joking。〃
〃Doctor； you are a satirical beggar。〃
Staines told Tadcaster； and he went forward and chaffed his friend
the quartermaster； who was one of the forecastle wits。
〃I say； quartermaster； why doesn't Neptune come on board？〃
Dead silence。
〃I wonder what has become of poor old Nep？〃
〃Gone ashore！〃 growled the seaman。 〃Last seen in Rateliff Highway。
Got a shop therelends a shilling in the pound on seamen's advance
tickets。〃
〃Oh！ and Amphitrite？〃
〃Married the sexton at Wapping。〃
〃And the Nereids？〃
〃Neruds！〃 （scratching his head。） 〃I harn't kept my eye on them
small craft。 But I BELIEVE they are selling oysters in the port of
Leith。〃
A light breeze carried them across the equator； but soon after they
got becalmed； and it was dreary work； and the ship rolled gently；
but continuously； and upset Lord Tadcaster's stomach again； and
quenched his manly spirit。
At last they were fortunate enough to catch the southeast trade；
but it was so languid at first that the ship barely moved through
the water； though they set every stitch； and studding sails alow
and aloft； till really she was acres of canvas。
While she was so creeping along； a man in the mizzentop noticed an
enormous shark gliding steadily in her wake。 This may seem a small
incident； yet it ran through the ship like wildfire； and caused
more or less uneasiness in three hundred stout hearts； so near is
every seaman to death； and so strong the persuasion in their
superstitious minds； that a shark does not follow a ship
pertinaciously without a prophetic instinct of calamity。
Unfortunately； the quartermaster conveyed this idea to Lord
Tadcaster； and confirmed it by numerous examples to prove that
there was always death at hand when a shark followed the ship。
Thereupon Tadcaster took it into his head that he was under a
relapse； and the shark was waiting for his dead body： he got quite
low…spirited。
Staines told Fitzroy。 Fitzroy said； 〃Shark be hanged！ I'll have
him on deck in half an hour。〃 He got leave from the captain： a
hook was baited with a large piece of pork； and towed astern by a
stout line； experienced old hands attending to it by turns。
The shark came up leisurely； surveyed the bait； and； I apprehend；
ascertained the position of the hook。 At all events； he turned
quietly on his back； sucked the bait off； and retired to enjoy it。
Every officer in the ship tried him in turn； but without success；
for； if they got ready for him； and； the moment he took the bait；
jerked the rope hard； in that case he opened his enormous mouth so
wide that the bait and hook came out clear。 But； sooner or later；
he always got the bait； and left his captors the hook。
This went on for days； and his huge dorsal fin always in the ship's
wake。
Then Tadcaster； who had watched these experiments with hope； lost
his spirit and appetite。
Staines reasoned with him； but in vain。 Somebody was to die； and；
although there were three hundred and more in the ship； he must be
the one。 At last he actually made his will； and threw himself into
Staines's arms； and gave him messages to his mother and Lady
Cicely； and ended by frightening himself into a fit。
This roused Staines's pity； and also put him on his mettle。 What；
science be beaten by a shark！
He pondered the matter with all his might； and at last an idea came
to him。
He asked the captain's permission to try his hand。 This was
accorded immediately； and the ship's stores placed at his disposal
very politely； but with a sly； comical grin。
Dr。 Staines got from the carpenter some sheets of zinc and spare
copper； and some flannel： these he cut into three…inch squares； and
soaked the flannel in acidulated water。 He then procured a
quantity of bell…wire； the greater part of which he insulated by
wrapping it round with hot gutta percha。 So eager was he； that he
did not turn in all night。
In the morning he prepared what he called an electric fusehe
filled a soda…water bottle with gunpowder； attaching some cork to
make it buoyant； put in the fuse and bung； made it water…tight；
connected and insulated his main wiresenveloped the bottle in
porktied a line to it； and let the bottle overboard。
The captain and officers shook their heads mysteriously。 The tars
peeped and grinned from every rope to see a doctor try and catch a
shark with a soda…water bottle and no hook； but somehow the doctor
seemed to know what he was about； so they hovered round； and
awaited the result； mystified； but curious； and showing their teeth
from ear to ear。
〃The only thing I fear；〃 said Staines； 〃is that； the moment he
takes the bait； he will cut the wire before I can complete the
circuit； and fire the fuse。〃
Nevertheless； there was another objection to the success of the
experiment。 The shark had disappeared。
〃Well；〃 said the captain； 〃at all events； you have frightened him
away。〃
〃No；〃 said little Tadcaster； white as a ghost； 〃he is only under
water； I know； waitingwaiting。〃
〃There he is；〃 cried one in the ratlines。
There was a rush to the taffrailgreat excitement。
〃Keep clear of me；〃 said Staines quietly but firmly。 〃It can only
be done at the moment before he cuts the wire。〃
The old shark swam slowly round the bait。
He saw it was something new。
He swam round and round it。
〃He won't take it；〃 said one。
〃He suspects something。〃
〃Oh； yes； he will take the meat somehow； and leave the pepper。 Sly
old fox！〃
〃He has eaten many a poor Jack； that one。〃
The shark turned slowly on his back； and； instead of grabbing at
the bait； seemed to draw it by gentle suction into that capacious
throat； ready to blow it out in a moment if it was not all right。
The moment the bait was drawn out of sight； Staines completed the
circuit； the bottle exploded with a fury that surprised him and
everybody who saw it； a ton of water flew into the air； and came
down in spray； and a gory carcass floated； belly uppermost； visibly
staining the blue water。
There was a roar of amazement and applause。
The carcass was towed alongside； at Tadcaster's urgent request； and
then the power of the explosion was seen。 Confined； first by the
bottle； then by the meat； then by the fish； and lastly by the
water； it had exploded with tenfold power； had blown the brute's
head into a million atoms； and had even torn a great furrow in its
carcass； exposing three feet of the backbone。
Taddy gloated on his enemy； and began to pick up again from that
hour。
The wind improved； and； as usual in that latitude； scarcely varied
a point。 They had a pleasant time；private theatricals and other