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〃Will you be very good to make up？〃
〃Oh； yes。 Only tell me how； for it does not come natural to poor
me。〃
〃Keep out of those women's way for the rest of the season。〃
〃I will。〃
〃Bring your stays home； and allow me to do what I like with them。〃
〃Of course。 Cut them in a million pieces。〃
〃Till you are recovered； you must be my patient； and go nowhere
without me。〃
〃That is no punishment； I am sure。〃
〃Punishment！ Am I the man to punish you？ I only want to save
you。〃
〃Well； darling； it won't be the first time。〃
〃No； but I do hope it will be the last。〃
CHAPTER XI。
〃Sublata causa tollitur effectus。〃 The stays being gone； and
dissipation moderated； Mrs。 Staines bloomed again； and they gave
one or two unpretending little dinners at the Bijou。 Dr。 Staines
admitted no false friends to these。 They never went beyond eight；
five gentlemen； three ladies。 By this arrangement the terrible
discursiveness of the fair； and man's cruel disposition to work a
subject threadbare； were controlled and modified； and a happy
balance of conversation established。 Lady Cicely Treherne was
always invited； and always managed to come； for she said； 〃They
were the most agweeable little paaties in London； and the host and
hostess both so intewesting。〃 In the autumn； Staines worked double
tides with the pen； and found a vehicle for medical narratives in a
weekly magazine that did not profess medicine。
This new vein put him in heart。 His fees； towards the end of the
year； were less than last year； because there was no hundred…guinea
fee； but there was a marked increase in the small fees； and the
unflagging pen had actually earned him two hundred pounds； or
nearly。 So he was in good spirits。
Not so Mrs。 Staines； for some time she had been uneasy； fretful；
and like a person with a weight on her mind。
One Sunday she said to him； 〃Oh； dear； I do feel so dull。 Nobody
to go to church with； nor yet to the Zoo。〃
〃I'll go with you；〃 said Staines。
〃You will！ To which？〃
〃To both； in for a penny； in for a pound。〃
So to church they went； and Staines； whose motto was 〃Hoc age；〃
minded his book。 Rosa had intervals of attention to the words； but
found plenty of time to study the costumes。
During the Litany in bustled Clara； the housemaid； with a white
jacket on so like her mistress's； that Rosa clutched her own
convulsively； to see whether she had not been skinned of it by some
devilish sleight…of…hand。
No； it was on her back； but Clara's was identical。
In her excitement； Rosa pinched Staines； and with her nose； that
went like a water…wagtail； pointed out the malefactor。 Then she
whispered； 〃Look！ How dare she？ My very jacket！ Earrings too；
and brooches； and dresses her hair like mine。〃
〃Well； never mind；〃 whispered Staines。 〃Sunday is her day。 We
have got all the week to shine。 There； don't look at her'From
all evil speaking； lying； and slandering'〃
〃I can't keep my eyes off her。〃
〃Attend to the Litany。 Do you know； this is really a beautiful
composition？〃
〃I'd rather do the work fifty times over myself。〃
〃Hush！ people will hear you。〃
When they walked home after church； Staines tried to divert her
from the consideration of her wrongs； but noall other topics were
too flat by comparison。
She mourned the hard fate of mistressesunfortunate creatures that
could not do without servants。
〃Is not that a confession that servants are good； useful creatures；
with all their faults？ Then as to the mania for dress； why； that
is not confined to them。 It is the mania of the sex。 Are you free
from it？〃
〃No； of course not。 But I am a lady； if you please。〃
〃Then she is your intellectual inferior； and more excusable。
Anyway； it is wise to connive at a thing we can't help。〃
〃What keep her； after this？ no； never。〃
〃My dear； pray do not send her away； for she is tidy in the house；
and quick； and better than any one we have had this last six
months； and you know you have tried a great number。〃
〃To hear you speak； one would think it was my fault that we have so
many bad servants。〃
〃I never said it was your fault； but I THINK； dearest； a little
more forbearance in trifles〃
〃Trifles！ triflesfor a mistress and maid to be seen dressed alike
in the same church？ You take the servants' part against me； that
you do。〃
〃You should not say that； even in jest。 Come now； do you really
think a jacket like yours can make the servant look like you； or
detract from your grace and beauty？ There is a very simple way；
put your jacket by for a future occasion； and wear something else
in its stead at church。〃
〃A nice thing； indeed； to give in to these creatures。 I won't do
it。〃
〃Why won't you； this once？〃
〃Because I won'tthere！〃
〃That is unanswerable；〃 said he。
Mrs。 Staines said that； but when it came to acting； she deferred to
her husband's wish； she resigned her intention of sending for Clara
and giving her warning。 On the contrary； when Clara let her in；
and the white jackets rubbed together in the narrow passage； she
actually said nothing； but stalked to her own room； and tore her
jacket off； and flung it on the floor。
Unfortunately； she was so long dressing for the Zoo； that Clara
came in to arrange the room。 She picks up the white jacket； takes
it in both hands； gives it a flap； and proceeds to hang it up in
the wardrobe。
Then the great feminine heart burst its bounds。
〃You can leave that alone。 I shall not wear that again。〃
Thereupon ensued an uneven encounter； Clara being one of those of
whom the Scripture says； 〃The poison of asps is under their
tongues。〃
〃La； ma'am；〃 said she； 〃why； 'tain't so very dirty。〃
〃No； but it is too common。〃
〃Oh； because I've got one like it。 Ay。 Missises can't abide a
good…looking servant； nor to see 'em dressed becoming。〃
〃Mistresses do not like servants to forget their place； nor wear
what does not become their situation。〃
〃My situation！ Why； I can pay my way； go where I will。 I don't
tremble at the tradesmen's knock； as some do。〃
〃Leave the room！ Leave it this moment。〃
〃Leave the room； yesand I'll leave the house too； and tell all
the neighbors what I know about it。〃
She flounced out and slammed the door； and Rosa sat down；
trembling。
Clara rushed to the kitchen； and there told the cook and Andrew
Pearman how she had given it to the mistress； and every word she
had said to her； with a good many more she had not。
The cook laughed and encouraged her。
But Andrew Pearman was wroth； and said； 〃You to affront our
mistress like that！ Why； if I had heard you； I'd have twisted your
neck for ye。〃
〃It would take a better man than you to do that。 You mind your own
business。 Stick to your one…horse chay。〃
〃Well； I'm not above my place； for that matter。 But you gals must
always be aping your betters。〃
〃I have got a proper pride； that is all； and you haven't。 You
ought to be ashamed of yourself to do two men's work； drive a
brougham and wait on a horse； and then come in and wait at table；
You are a tea…kettle groom； that is what you are。 Why； my brother
was coachman to Lord Fitz…James； and gave his lords