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might be； it baffled my utmost sagacity to guess。 Not the faintest idea
of the terrible secret that he was hiding from me； crossed my mind。
Innocent of all suspicion of the truth； there I sat opposite to him； the
unconscious witness of that unhappy man's final struggle to be true to
the brother whom he loved； and to master the devouring passion that
consumed him。 So long as Lucilla falsely believed him to be disfigured by
the drug； so long the commonest consideration for her tranquillity would；
in the estimation of others； excuse and explain his keeping out of her
presence。 In that separation； lay his last chance of raising an
insurmountable barrier between Lucilla and himself。 He had already tried
uselessly to place another obstacle in the wayhe had vainly attempted
to hasten the marriage which would have made Lucilla sacred to him as his
brother's wife。 That effort having failed； there was but one honorable
alternative left to himto keep out of her society； until she was
married to Oscar。 He had accepted the position in which Oscar had placed
him； as the one means of reaching the end in view without exciting
suspicion of the truthand he had encountered； as his reward for the
sacrifice； my ignorant protest； my stupid opposition； set as obstacles in
his way！ There were the motivesthe pure； the noble motiveswhich
animated him； as I know them now。 There is the right reading of the
dogged language that mystified me； of the defiant manner that offended
me； interpreted by the one light that I have to guide my penthe light
of later events！
〃Well？〃 he said。 〃Are we allies； or not？ Are you with me or against me？〃
I gave up attempting to understand him； and answered that plain question；
plainly。
〃I don't deny that the consequences of undeceiving her may be serious；〃 I
said。 〃But； for all that； I will have no share in the cruelty of keeping
her deceived。〃
Nugent held up his forefinger； warningly。
〃Pause； and reflect； Madame Pratolungo！ The mischief that you may do； as
matters stand now； may be mischief that you can never repair。 It's
useless to ask you to alter your mind。 I only ask you to wait a little。
There is plenty of time before the wedding…day。 Something may happen
which will spare you the necessity of enlightening Lucilla with your own
lips。〃
〃What can happen？〃 I asked。
〃Lucilla may yet see him； as we see him；〃 Nugent answered。 〃Lucilla's own
eyes may discover the truth。〃
〃What！ have you not abandoned the mad notion of curing her blindness；
yet？〃
〃I will abandon my notion when the German surgeon tells me it is mad。 Not
before。〃
〃Have you said anything about it to Oscar？〃
〃Not a word。 I shall say nothing about it to anybody but you； until the
German is safe on the shores of England。〃
〃Do you expect him to arrive before the marriage？〃
〃Certainly！ He would have left New York with me； but for one patient who
still required his care。 No new patients will tempt him to stay in
America。 His extraordinary success has made his fortune。 The ambition of
his life is to see England： and he can afford to gratify it。 He may be
here by the next steamer that reaches Liverpool。〃
〃And when he does come； you mean to bring him to Dimchurch？〃
〃Yesunless Lucilla objects to it。〃
〃Suppose Oscar objects？ She is resigned to be blind for life。 If you
disturb that resignation with no useful result； you may make an unhappy
woman of her for the rest of her days。 In your brother's place； I should
object to running that risk。〃
〃My brother is doubly interested in running the risk。 I repeat what I
have already told you。 The physical result will not be the only result；
if her sight can be restored。 There will be a new mind put into her as
well as a new sense。 Oscar has everything to dread from this morbid fancy
of hers as long as she is blind。 Only let her eyes correct her
fancyonly let her see him as we see him； and get used to him； as we
have got used to him； and Oscar's future with her is safe。 Will you leave
things as they are for the present； on the chance that the German surgeon
may get here before the wedding…day？〃
I consented to that； being influenced； in spite of myself； by the
remarkable coincidence between what Nugent had just said of Lucilla； and
what Lucilla had said to me of herself earlier in the day。 It was
impossible to deny that Nugent's theory； wild as it sounded； found its
confirmation； so far； in Lucilla's view of her own case。 Having settled
the difference between us in this way； for the time being； I shifted our
talk next to the difficult question of Nugent's relations towards
Lucilla。 〃How are you to meet her again；〃 I said； 〃after the effect you
produced on her at the meeting to…day？〃
He spoke far more pleasantly in discussing this side of the subject。 His
language and his manner both improved together。
〃If I could have had my own way；〃 he said； 〃Lucilla would have been
relieved； by this time； of all fear of meeting with me again。 She would
have heard from you； or from Oscar； that business had obliged me to leave
Dimchurch。〃
〃Does Oscar object to let you go？〃
〃He won't hear of my going。 I did my best to persuade himI promised to
return for the marriage。 Quite useless！ 'If you leave me here by myself；'
he said； 'to think over the mischief I have done； and the sacrifices I
have forced on youyou will break my heart。 You don't know what an
encouragement your presence is to me； you don't know what a blank you
will leave in my life if you go！' I am as weak as Oscar is； when Oscar
speaks to me in that way。 Against my own convictions； against my own
wishes； I yielded。 I should have been better awayfar； far better away！〃
He said those closing words in a tone that startled me。 It was nothing
less than a tone of despair。 How little I understood him then！ how well I
understand him now！ In those melancholy accents； spoke the last of his
honor； the last of his truth。 Miserable； innocent Lucia！ Miserable；
guilty Nugent！
〃And now you remain at Dimchurch；〃 I resumed； 〃what are you to do？〃
〃I must do my best to spare her the nervous suffering which I unwillingly
inflicted on her to…day。 The morbid repulsion that she feels in my
presence is not to be controlledI can see that plainly。 I shall keep
out of her way； gradually withdrawing myself； so as not to force my
absence on her attention。 I shall pay fewer and fewer visits at the
rectory； and remain longer and longer at Browndown every day。 After they
are married〃 He suddenly stopped； the words seemed to stick in his
throat。 He busied himself in relighting his cigar； and took a long time
to do it。
〃After they are married；〃 I repeated。 〃What then？〃
〃When Oscar is married； Oscar will not find my presence indispensable to
his happiness。 I shall leave Dimchurch。〃
〃You will have to give a reason。〃
〃I shall give the true reason。 I can find no studio here big enough for
meas I have told you。 And； even if I could find a studio； I should be
doing no good； if I remained at Dimchurch。 My intellect would contract；
my brains would rust； in this remote place。 Let Oscar live his quiet
married life here。 And let me go to the atmosphere that is fitter for
meth