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〃I despair； Madame PratolungoI assure you； I despairof conveying any
idea of how _I_ feel under this most melancholy state of things。 You have
been very good； you have shown the sympathy of a true friend。 But you
cannot possibly understand how this blow has fallen on Me。 I am crushed。
Madame Pratolungo！〃 （he appealed to me； in my corner）； 〃Mrs。 Finch！〃 （he
appealed to his wife； in _her_ corner）〃I am crushed。 There is no other
word to express it but the word I have used。 Crushed。〃 He stopped in the
middle of the room。 He looked expectantly at mehe looked expectantly at
his wife。 His face and manner said plainly； 〃If both these women faint； I
shall consider it a natural and becoming proceeding on their parts； after
what I have just told them。〃 I waited for the lead of the lady of the
house。 Mrs。 Finch did not roll prostrate； with the baby and the novel； on
the floor。 Thus encouraged； I presumed to keep my seat。 The rector still
waited for us。 I looked as miserable as I could。 Mrs。 Finch cast her eyes
up reverentially at her husband； as if she thought him the noblest of
created beings； and silently put her handkerchief to her eyes。 Mr。 Finch
was satisfied； Mr。 Finch went on。 〃My health has sufferedI assure you；
Madame Pratolungo； MY health has suffered。 Since this sad occurrence； my
stomach has given way。 My balance is lostmy usual regularity is gone。 I
am subjectentirely through this miserable businessto fits of morbid
appetite。 I want things at wrong timesbreakfast in the middle of the
night； dinner at four in the morning。 I want something now！〃 Mr。 Finch
stopped； horror…struck at his condition； pondering with his eyebrows
fiercely knit； and his hand pressed convulsively on the lower buttons of
his rusty black waistcoat。 Mrs。 Finch's watery blue eyes looked across
the room at me； in a moist melancholy of conjugal distress。 The rector；
suddenly enlightened after his consultation with his stomach； strutted to
the door； flung it wide open； and called down the kitchen stairs with a
voice of thunder； 〃Poach me an egg！〃 He came back into the roomheld
another consultation； keeping his eyes severely fixed on mestrutted
back in a furious hurry to the doorand bellowed a counter…order down
the kitchen…stairs； 〃No egg！ Do me a red herring！〃 He came back for the
second time； with his eyes closed and his hand laid distractedly on his
head。 He appealed alternately to Mrs。 Finch and to me。 〃See for
yourselvesMrs。 Finch！ Madame Pratolungo！see for yourselves what a
state I am in。 It's simply pitiable。 I hesitate about the most trifling
things。 First； I think I want a poached eggthen； I think I want a red
herringnow I don't know what I want。 Upon my word of honor as a
clergyman and a gentleman； I don't know what I want！ Morbid appetite all
day； morbid wakefulness all nightwhat a condition！ I can't rest。 I
disturb my wife at night。 Mrs。 Finch！ I disturb you at night。 How many
timessince this misfortune fell upon usdo I turn in bed before I fall
off to sleep？ Eight times？ Are you certain of it？ Don't exaggerate！ Are
you certain you counted！ Very well： good creature！ I never rememberI
assure you； Madame Pratolungo； I never remembersuch a complete upset as
this before。 The nearest approach to it was some years since； at my
wife's last confinement but four。 Mrs。 Finch！ was it at your last
confinement but four？ or your last but five？ Your last but four？ Are you
sure。 Are you certain you are not misleading our friend here？ Very well：
good creature！ Pecuniary difficulties； Madame Pratolungo； were at the
bottom of it on that last occasion。 I got over the pecuniary
difficulties。 How am I to get over this？ My plans for Oscar and Lucilla
were completely arranged。 My relations with my wedded children were
pleasantly laid out。 I saw my own future； I saw the future of my family。
What do I see now？ All； so to speak； annihilated at a blow。 Inscrutable
Providence！〃 He paused； and lifted his eyes and hands devotionally to the
ceiling。 The cook appeared with the red herring。 〃Inscrutable
Providence〃proceeded Mr。 Finch； a tone lower。 〃Eat it； dear；〃 said Mrs。
Finch； 〃while it's hot。〃 The rector paused again。 His unresting tongue
urged him to proceed； his undisciplined stomach clamored for the herring。
The cook uncovered the dish。 Mr。 Finch's nose instantly sided with Mr。
Finch's stomach。 He stopped at 〃Inscrutable Providence〃and peppered his
herring。
Having reported how the rector spoke； in the presence of the disaster
which had fallen on the family； I have only to complete the picture by
stating next what he did。 He borrowed two hundred pounds of Oscar； and
left off commanding red herrings in the day and disturbing Mrs。 Finch at
night； immediately afterwards。
The dull autumn days ended； and the long nights of winter began。
No change for the better appeared in our prospects。 The doctors did their
best for Oscarwithout avail。 The horrible fits came back； again and
again。 Day after day； our dull lives went monotonously on。 I almost began
now to believe； with Lucilla； that a crisis of some sort must be at hand。
〃This cannot last；〃 I used to say to myselfgenerally when I was very
hungry。 〃Something will happen before the year comes to an end。〃
The month of December began； and something happened at last。 The family
troubles at the rectory were matched by family troubles of my own。 A
letter arrived for me from one of my younger sisters at Paris。 It
contained alarming news of a person very dear to mealready mentioned in
the first of these pages as my good Papa。
Was the venerable author of my being dangerously ill of a mortal disease？
Alas！ he was not exactly thatbut the next worst thing to it。 He was
dangerously in love with a disreputable young woman。 At what age？ At the
age of seventy…five！ What can we say of my surviving parent？ We can only
say； This is a vigorous nature； Papa has an evergreen heart。
I am grieved to trouble you with my family concerns。 But they mix
themselves up intimately； as you will see in due time； with the concerns
of Oscar and Lucilla。 It is my unhappy destiny that I cannot possibly
take you through the present narrative； without sooner or later
disclosing the one weakness （amiable weakness） of the gayest and
brightest and best…preserved man of his time。
Ah； I am now treading on egg…shells； I know！ The English specter called
Propriety springs up rampant on my writing…table； and whispers furiously
in my ear； 〃Madame Pratolungo； raise a blush on the cheek of Innocence；
and it is all over from that moment with you and your story。〃 Oh；
inflammable Cheek of Innocence； be good…natured for once； and I will rack
my brains to try if I can put it to you without offense！ May I picture
good Papa as an elder in the Temple of Venus； burning incense
inexhaustibly on the altar of love？ No： Temple of Venus is Pagan； altar
of love is not propertake them out。 Let me only say of my evergreen
parent that his life from youth to age had been one unintermitting
recognition of the charms of the sex； and that my sisters and I （being of
the sex） could not find it in our hearts to abandon him on that account。
So handsome； so affectionate； so sweet…tempered；