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To all of which； that I might commit nobody； I invented； I am
afraid； appropriate answers。 They served me with the ale； though I
suspect it was not the Genuine Stunning； and the landlord’s wife；
opening the little half…door of the bar； and bending down； gave me
my money back； and gave me a kiss that was half admiring and
half compassionate； but all womanly and good； I am sure。
I know I do not exaggerate； unconsciously and unintentionally；
the scantiness of my resources or the difficulties of my life。 I know
that if a shilling were given me by Mr。 Quinion at any time； I spent
it in a dinner or a tea。 I know that I worked； from morning until
night； with common men and boys； a shabby child。 I know that I
lounged about the streets； insufficiently and unsatisfactorily fed。 I
know that； but for the mercy of God； I might easily have been； for
any care that was taken of me； a little robber or a little vagabond。
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
Yet I held some station at Murdstone and Grinby’s too。 Besides
that Mr。 Quinion did what a careless man so occupied； and dealing
with a thing so anomalous； could； to treat me as one upon a
different footing from the rest； I never said； to man or boy； how it
was that I came to be there； or gave the least indication of being
sorry that I was there。 That I suffered in secret； and that I suffered
exquisitely； no one ever knew but I。 How much I suffered； it is； as I
have said already； utterly beyond my power to tell。 But I kept my
own counsel； and I did my work。 I knew from the first； that； if I
could not do my work as well as any of the rest； I could not hold
myself above slight and contempt。 I soon became at least as
expeditious and as skilful as either of the other boys。 Though
perfectly familiar with them； my conduct and manner were
different enough from theirs to place a space between us。 They
and the men generally spoke of me as ‘the little gent’； or ‘the
young Suffolker。’ A certain man named Gregory； who was
foreman of the packers； and another named Tipp； who was the
carman； and wore a red jacket； used to address me sometimes as
‘David’： but I think it was mostly when we were very confidential；
and when I had made some efforts to entertain them； over our
work； with some results of the old readings； which were fast
perishing out of my remembrance。 Mealy Potatoes uprose once；
and rebelled against my being so distinguished； but Mick Walker
settled him in no time。
My rescue from this kind of existence I considered quite
hopeless； and abandoned； as such； altogether。 I am solemnly
convinced that I never for one hour was reconciled to it； or was
otherwise than miserably unhappy； but I bore it； and even to
Peggotty； partly for the love of her and partly for shame； never in
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
any letter （though many passed between us） revealed the truth。
Mr。 Micawber’s difficulties were an addition to the distressed
state of my mind。 In my forlorn state I became quite attached to
the family； and used to walk about； busy with Mrs。 Micawber’s
calculations of ways and means； and heavy with the weight of Mr。
Micawber’s debts。 On a Saturday night； which was my grand
treat；—partly because it was a great thing to walk home with six or
seven shillings in my pocket； looking into the shops and thinking
what such a sum would buy； and partly because I went home
early；—Mrs。 Micawber would make the most heart…rending
confidences to me； also on a Sunday morning； when I mixed the
portion of tea or coffee I had bought over…night； in a little shaving…
pot； and sat late at my breakfast。 It was nothing at all unusual for
Mr。 Micawber to sob violently at the beginning of one of these
Saturday night conversations； and sing about jack’s delight being
his lovely Nan； towards the end of it。 I have known him come
home to supper with a flood of tears； and a declaration that
nothing was now left but a jail； and go to bed making a calculation
of the expense of putting bow…windows to the house； ‘in case
anything turned up’； which was his favourite expression。 And Mrs。
Micawber was just the same。
A curious equality of friendship； originating； I suppose； in our
respective circumstances； sprung up between me and these
people； notwithstanding the ludicrous disparity in our years。 But I
never allowed myself to be prevailed upon to accept any invitation
to eat and drink with them out of their stock （knowing that they
got on badly with the butcher and baker； and had often not too
much for themselves）； until Mrs。 Micawber took me into her entire
confidence。 This she did one evening as follows：
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
‘Master Copperfield；’ said Mrs。 Micawber； ‘I make no stranger
of you； and therefore do not hesitate to say that Mr。 Micawber’s
difficulties are coming to a crisis。’
It made me very miserable to hear it； and I looked at Mrs。
Micawber’s red eyes with the utmost sympathy。
‘With the exception of the heel of a Dutch cheese—which is not
adapted to the wants of a young family’—said Mrs。 Micawber；
‘there is really not a scrap of anything in the larder。 I was
accustomed to speak of the larder when I lived with papa and
mama； and I use the word almost unconsciously。 What I mean to
express is； that there is nothing to eat in the house。’
‘Dear me！’ I said； in great concern。
I had two or three shillings of my week’s money in my pocket—
from which I presume that it must have been on a Wednesday
night when we held this conversation—and I hastily produced
them； and with heartfelt emotion begged Mrs。 Micawber to accept
of them as a loan。 But that lady； kissing me； and making me put
them back in my pocket； replied that she couldn’t think of it。
‘No； my dear Master Copperfield；’ said she； ‘far be it from my
thoughts！ But you have a discretion beyond your years； and can
render me another kind of service； if you will； and a service I will
thankfully accept of。’
I begged Mrs。 Micawber to name it。
‘I have parted with the plate myself；’ said Mrs。 Micawber。 ‘Six
tea； two salt； and a pair of sugars； I have at different times
borrowed money on； in secret； with my own hands。 But the twins
are a great tie； and to me； with my recollections； of papa and
mama； these transactions are very painful。 There are still a few
trifles that we could part with。 Mr。 Micawber’s feelings would
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
never allow him to dispose of them； and Clickett’—this was the girl
from the workhouse—‘being of a vulgar mind； would take painful
liberties if so much confidence was reposed in her。 Master
Copperfield； if I might ask you—’
I understood Mrs。 Micawber now； and begged her to make use
of me to any extent。 I began to dispose of the more portable
articles of property that very evening； and went out on a similar
expedition almost every morning； before I went to Murdstone and
Grinby’s。
Mr。 Micawber had a few books on a littl