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David Copperfield
himself； I suppose； with the contemplation of his happiness。 If so；
it sharpened his appetite； for I distinctly call to mind that；
although he had eaten a good deal of pork and greens at dinner；
and had finished off with a fowl or two； he was obliged to have cold
boiled bacon for tea； and disposed of a large quantity without any
emotion。
I have often thought； since； what an odd； innocent； out…of…theway kind of wedding it must have been！ We got into the chaise
again soon after dark； and drove cosily back； looking up at the
stars； and talking about them。 I was their chief exponent； and
opened Mr。 Barkis’s mind to an amazing extent。 I told him all I
knew； but he would have believed anything I might have taken it
into my head to impart to him； for he had a profound veneration
for my abilities； and informed his wife in my hearing； on that very
occasion； that I was ‘a young Roeshus’—by which I think he meant
prodigy。
When we had exhausted the subject of the stars； or rather when
I had exhausted the mental faculties of Mr。 Barkis； little Em’ly and
I made a cloak of an old wrapper； and sat under it for the rest of
the journey。 Ah； how I loved her！ What happiness （I thought） if we
were married； and were going away anywhere to live among the
trees and in the fields； never growing older； never growing wiser；
children ever； rambling hand in hand through sunshine and
among flowery meadows； laying down our heads on moss at night；
in a sweet sleep of purity and peace； and buried by the birds when
we were dead！ Some such picture； with no real world in it； bright
with the light of our innocence； and vague as the stars afar off； was
in my mind all the way。 I am glad to think there were two such
guileless hearts at Peggotty’s marriage as little Em’ly’s and mine。 I
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
am glad to think the Loves and Graces took such airy forms in its
homely procession。
Well； we came to the old boat again in good time at night； and
there Mr。 and Mrs。 Barkis bade us good…bye； and drove away
snugly to their own home。 I felt then； for the first time； that I had
lost Peggotty。 I should have gone to bed with a sore heart indeed
under any other roof but that which sheltered little Em’ly’s head。
Mr。 Peggotty and Ham knew what was in my thoughts as well
as I did； and were ready with some supper and their hospitable
faces to drive it away。 Little Em’ly came and sat beside me on the
locker for the only time in all that visit； and it was altogether a
wonderful close to a wonderful day。
It was a night tide； and soon after we went to bed； Mr。 Peggotty
and Ham went out to fish。 I felt very brave at being left alone in
the solitary house； the protector of Em’ly and Mrs。 Gummidge；
and only wished that a lion or a serpent； or any ill…disposed
monster； would make an attack upon us； that I might destroy him；
and cover myself with glory。 But as nothing of the sort happened
to be walking about on Yarmouth flats that night； I provided the
best substitute I could by dreaming of dragons until morning。
With morning came Peggotty； who called to me； as usual； under
my window as if Mr。 Barkis the carrier had been from first to last a
dream too。 After breakfast she took me to her own home； and a
beautiful little home it was。 Of all the moveables in it； I must have
been impressed by a certain old bureau of some dark wood in the
parlour （the tile…floored kitchen was the general sitting…room）；
with a retreating top which opened； let down； and became a desk；
within which was a large quarto edition of Foxe’s Book of Martyrs。
This precious volume； of which I do not recollect one word； I
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
immediately discovered and immediately applied myself to； and I
never visited the house afterwards； but I kneeled on a chair；
opened the casket where this gem was enshrined； spread my arms
over the desk； and fell to devouring the book afresh。 I was chiefly
edified； I am afraid； by the pictures； which were numerous； and
represented all kinds of dismal horrors； but the Martyrs and
Peggotty’s house have been inseparable in my mind ever since；
and are now。
I took leave of Mr。 Peggotty； and Ham； and Mrs。 Gummidge；
and little Em’ly； that day； and passed the night at Peggotty’s； in a
little room in the roof （with the Crocodile Book on a shelf by the
bed’s head） which was to be always mine； Peggotty said； and
should always be kept for me in exactly the same state。
‘Young or old； Davy dear； as long as I am alive and have this
house over my head；’ said Peggotty； ‘you shall find it as if I
expected you here directly minute。 I shall keep it every day； as I
used to keep your old little room； my darling； and if you was to go
to China； you might think of it as being kept just the same； all the
time you were away。’
I felt the truth and constancy of my dear old nurse； with all my
heart； and thanked her as well as I could。 That was not very well；
for she spoke to me thus； with her arms round my neck； in the
morning； and I was going home in the morning； and I went home
in the morning； with herself and Mr。 Barkis in the cart。 They left
me at the gate； not easily or lightly； and it was a strange sight to
me to see the cart go on； taking Peggotty away； and leaving me
under the old elm…trees looking at the house； in which there was
no face to look on mine with love or liking any more。
And now I fell into a state of neglect； which I cannot look back
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
upon without compassion。 I fell at once into a solitary condition；—
apart from all friendly notice； apart from the society of all other
boys of my own age； apart from all companionship but my own
spiritless thoughts；—which seems to cast its gloom upon this
paper as I write。
What would I have given； to have been sent to the hardest
school that ever was kept！—to have been taught something；
anyhow； anywhere！ No such hope dawned upon me。 They disliked
me； and they sullenly； sternly； steadily； overlooked me。 I think Mr。
Murdstone’s means were straitened at about this time； but it is
little to the purpose。 He could not bear me； and in putting me from
him he tried； as I believe； to put away the notion that I had any
claim upon him—and succeeded。
I was not actively ill…used。 I was not beaten； or starved； but the
wrong that was done to me had no intervals of relenting； and was
done in a systematic； passionless manner。 Day after day； week
after week； month after month； I was coldly neglected。 I wonder
sometimes； when I think of it； what they would have done if I had
been taken with an illness； whether I should have lain down in my
lonely room； and languished through it in my usual solitary way；
or whether anybody would have helped me out。
When Mr。 and Miss Murdstone were at home； I took my meals
with them； in their absence； I ate and drank by myself。 At all times
I lounged about the house and neighbourhood quite disregarded；
ex