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and its coming down faster and faster between me and the church；
until it and gathering night seemed to quench me in gloom； and
fear； and remorse—all this appears to have gone round and round
for years instead of days； it is so vividly and strongly stamped on
my remembrance。 On the last night of my restraint； I was
awakened by hearing my own name spoken in a whisper。 I started
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
up in bed； and putting out my arms in the dark； said：
‘Is that you； Peggotty？’
There was no immediate answer； but presently I heard my
name again； in a tone so very mysterious and awful； that I think I
should have gone into a fit； if it had not occurred to me that it must
have come through the keyhole。
I groped my way to the door； and putting my own lips to the
keyhole； whispered： ‘Is that you； Peggotty dear？’
‘Yes； my own precious Davy；’ she replied。 ‘Be as soft as a
mouse； or the Cat’ll hear us。’
I understood this to mean Miss Murdstone； and was sensible of
the urgency of the case； her room being close by。
‘How’s mama； dear Peggotty？ Is she very angry with me？’
I could hear Peggotty crying softly on her side of the keyhole； as
I was doing on mine； before she answered。 ‘No。 Not very。’
‘What is going to be done with me； Peggotty dear？ Do you
know？’
‘School。 Near London；’ was Peggotty’s answer。 I was obliged to
get her to repeat it； for she spoke it the first time quite down my
throat； in consequence of my having forgotten to take my mouth
away from the keyhole and put my ear there； and though her
words tickled me a good deal； I didn’t hear them。
‘When； Peggotty？’
‘Tomorrow。’
‘Is that the reason why Miss Murdstone took the clothes out of
my drawers？’ which she had done； though I have forgotten to
mention it。
‘Yes；’ said Peggotty。 ‘Box。’
‘Shan’t I see mama？’
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
‘Yes；’ said Peggotty。 ‘Morning。’
Then Peggotty fitted her mouth close to the keyhole； and
delivered these words through it with as much feeling and
earnestness as a keyhole has ever been the medium of
communicating； I will venture to assert： shooting in each broken
little sentence in a convulsive little burst of its own。
‘Davy； dear。 If I ain’t been azackly as intimate with you。 Lately；
as I used to be。 It ain’t because I don’t love you。 just as well and
more； my pretty poppet。 It’s because I thought it better for you。
And for someone else besides。 Davy； my darling； are you listening？
Can you hear？’
‘Ye…ye…ye…yes； Peggotty！’ I sobbed。
‘My own！’ said Peggotty； with infinite compassion。 ‘What I want
to say； is。 That you must never forget me。 For I’ll never forget you。
And I’ll take as much care of your mama； Davy。 As ever I took of
you。 And I won’t leave her。 The day may come when she’ll be glad
to lay her poor head。 On her stupid； cross old Peggotty’s arm
again。 And I’ll write to you； my dear。 Though I ain’t no scholar。
And I’ll—I’ll—’ Peggotty fell to kissing the keyhole； as she couldn’t
kiss me。
‘Thank you； dear Peggotty！’ said I。 ‘Oh； thank you！ Thank you！
Will you promise me one thing； Peggotty？ Will you write and tell
Mr。 Peggotty and little Em’ly； and Mrs。 Gummidge and Ham； that
I am not so bad as they might suppose； and that I sent ’em all my
love—especially to little Em’ly？ Will you； if you please； Peggotty？’
The kind soul promised； and we both of us kissed the keyhole
with the greatest affection—I patted it with my hand； I recollect； as
if it had been her honest face—and parted。 From that night there
grew up in my breast a feeling for Peggotty which I cannot very
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
well define。 She did not replace my mother； no one could do that；
but she came into a vacancy in my heart； which closed upon her；
and I felt towards her something I have never felt for any other
human being。 It was a sort of comical affection； too； and yet if she
had died； I cannot think what I should have done； or how I should
have acted out the tragedy it would have been to me。
In the morning Miss Murdstone appeared as usual； and told me
I was going to school； which was not altogether such news to me
as she supposed。 She also informed me that when I was dressed； I
was to come downstairs into the parlour； and have my breakfast。
There； I found my mother； very pale and with red eyes： into whose
arms I ran； and begged her pardon from my suffering soul。
‘Oh； Davy！’ she said。 ‘That you could hurt anyone I love！ Try to
be better； pray to be better！ I forgive you； but I am so grieved；
Davy； that you should have such bad passions in your heart。’
They had persuaded her that I was a wicked fellow； and she
was more sorry for that than for my going away。 I felt it sorely。 I
tried to eat my parting breakfast； but my tears dropped upon my
bread…and…butter； and trickled into my tea。 I saw my mother look
at me sometimes； and then glance at the watchful Miss Murdstone；
and than look down； or look away。
‘Master Copperfield’s box there！’ said Miss Murdstone； when
wheels were heard at the gate。
I looked for Peggotty； but it was not she； neither she nor Mr。
Murdstone appeared。 My former acquaintance； the carrier； was at
the door。 the box was taken out to his cart； and lifted in。 ‘Clara！’
said Miss Murdstone； in her warning note。
‘Ready； my dear Jane；’ returned my mother。 ‘Good…bye； Davy。
You are going for your own good。 Good…bye； my child。 You will
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
come home in the holidays； and be a better boy。’
‘Clara！’ Miss Murdstone repeated。
‘Certainly； my dear Jane；’ replied my mother； who was holding
me。 ‘I forgive you； my dear boy。 God bless you！’
‘Clara！’ Miss Murdstone repeated。
Miss Murdstone was good enough to take me out to the cart；
and to say on the way that she hoped I would repent； before I
came to a bad end； and then I got into the cart； and the lazy horse
walked off with it。
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
Chapter 5
I AM SENT AWAY FROM HOME
We might have gone about half a mile； and my pocket…
handkerchief was quite wet through； when the carrier
stopped short。 Looking out to ascertain for what； I saw；
to my amazement； Peggotty burst from a hedge and climb into the
cart。 She took me in both her arms； and squeezed me to her stays
until the pressure on my nose was extremely painful； though I
never thought of that till afterwards when I found it very tender。
Not a single word did Peggotty speak。 Releasing one of her arms；
she put it down in her pocket to the elbow； and brought out some
paper bags of cakes which she crammed into my pockets； and a
purse which she put into my hand； but not one word did she say。
After another and a final squeeze with both arms； she got down
from the cart and ran away； and； my belief is； and has always
been； without a solitary button on her gown。 I picked up one；