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under a chair； and growling incessantly： with now and then a
doleful howl； as if she really were too much for his feelings。 All
kinds of treatment were tried with him； coaxing； scolding；
slapping； bringing him to Buckingham Street （where he instantly
dashed at the two cats； to the terror of all beholders）； but he never
could prevail upon himself to bear my aunt’s society。 He would
sometimes think he had got the better of his objection； and be
amiable for a few minutes； and then would put up his snub nose；
and howl to that extent； that there was nothing for it but to blind
him and put him in the plate…warmer。 At length； Dora regularly
muffled him in a towel and shut him up there； whenever my aunt
was reported at the door。
One thing troubled me much； after we had fallen into this quiet
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train。 It was； that Dora seemed by one consent to be regarded like
a pretty toy or plaything。 My aunt； with whom she gradually
became familiar； always called her Little Blossom； and the
pleasure of Miss Lavinia’s life was to wait upon her； curl her hair；
make ornaments for her； and treat her like a pet child。 What Miss
Lavinia did； her sister did as a matter of course。 It was very odd to
me； but they all seemed to treat Dora； in her degree； much as Dora
treated Jip in his。
I made up my mind to speak to Dora about this； and one day
when we were out walking （for we were licensed by Miss Lavinia；
after a while； to go out walking by ourselves）； I said to her that I
wished she could get them to behave towards her differently。
‘Because you know； my darling；’ I remonstrated； ‘you are not a
child。’
‘There！’ said Dora。 ‘Now you’re going to be cross！’
‘Cross； my love？’
‘I am sure they’re very kind to me；’ said Dora； ‘and I am very
happy—’
‘Well！ But my dearest life！’ said I； ‘you might be very happy；
and yet be treated rationally。’
Dora gave me a reproachful look—the prettiest look！—and then
began to sob； saying； if I didn’t like her； why had I ever wanted so
much to be engaged to her？ And why didn’t I go away； now； if I
couldn’t bear her？
What could I do； but kiss away her tears； and tell her how I
doted on her； after that！
‘I am sure I am very affectionate；’ said Dora； ‘you oughtn’t to be
cruel to me； Doady！’
‘Cruel； my precious love！ As if I would—or could—be cruel to
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you； for the world！’
‘Then don’t find fault with me；’ said Dora； making a rosebud of
her mouth； ‘and I’ll be good。’
I was charmed by her presently asking me； of her own accord；
to give her that cookery…book I had once spoken of； and to show
her how to keep accounts as I had once promised I would。 I
brought the volume with me on my next visit （I got it prettily
bound； first； to make it look less dry and more inviting）； and as we
strolled about the Common； I showed her an old housekeeping…
book of my aunt’s； and gave her a set of tablets； and a pretty little
pencil…case and box of leads； to practise housekeeping with。
But the cookery…book made Dora’s head ache； and the figures
made her cry。 They wouldn’t add up； she said。 So she rubbed them
out； and drew little nosegays and likenesses of me and Jip； all over
the tablets。
Then I playfully tried verbal instruction in domestic matters； as
we walked about on a Saturday afternoon。 Sometimes； for
example； when we passed a butcher’s shop； I would say：
‘Now suppose； my pet； that we were married； and you were
going to buy a shoulder of mutton for dinner； would you know how
to buy it？’
My pretty little Dora’s face would fall； and she would make her
mouth into a bud again； as if she would very much prefer to shut
mine with a kiss。
‘Would you know how to buy it； my darling？’ I would repeat；
perhaps； if I were very inflexible。
Dora would think a little； and then reply； perhaps； with great
triumph：
‘Why； the butcher would know how to sell it； and what need I
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know？ Oh； you silly Boy！’
So； when I once asked Dora； with an eye to the cookery…book；
what she would do； if we were married； and I were to say I should
like a nice Irish stew； she replied that she would tell the servant to
make it； and then clapped her little hands together across my arm；
and laughed in such a charming manner that she was more
delightful than ever。
Consequently； the principal use to which the cookery…book was
devoted； was being put down in the corner for Jip to stand upon。
But Dora was so pleased； when she had trained him to stand upon
it without offering to come off； and at the same time to hold the
pencil…case in his mouth； that I was very glad I had bought it。
And we fell back on the guitar…case； and the flower…painting；
and the songs about never leaving off dancing； Ta ra la！ and were
as happy as the week was long。 I occasionally wished I could
venture to hint to Miss Lavinia； that she treated the darling of my
heart a little too much like a plaything； and I sometimes awoke； as
it were； wondering to find that I had fallen into the general fault；
and treated her like a plaything too—but not often。
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Chapter 42
MISCHIEF
Ifeel as if it were not for me to record； even though this
manuscript is intended for no eyes but mine； how hard I
worked at that tremendous short…hand； and all improvement
appertaining to it； in my sense of responsibility to Dora and her
aunts。 I will only add； to what I have already written of my
perseverance at this time of my life； and of a patient and
continuous energy which then began to be matured within me；
and which I know to be the strong part of my character； if it have
any strength at all； that there； on looking back； I find the source of
my success。 I have been very fortunate in worldly matters； many
men have worked much harder； and not succeeded half so well；
but I never could have done what I have done； without the habits
of punctuality； order； and diligence； without the determination to
concentrate myself on one object at a time； no matter how quickly
its successor should come upon its heels； which I then formed。
Heaven knows I write this； in no spirit of self…laudation。 The man
who reviews his own life； as I do mine； in going on here； from page
to page； had need to have been a good man indeed； if he would be
spared the sharp consciousness of many talents neglected； many
opportunities wasted； many erratic and perverted feelings
constantly at war within his breast； and defeating him。 I do not
hold one natural gift； I dare say； that I have not abused。 My
meaning simply is； that whatever I have tried to do in life； I have
tried with all my heart to do well； that whatever I have devoted
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myself to； I have devoted myself to completely； that in great aims
and in small； I have always been thoroughly in earnest。 I h