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voice failed； and I covered my face with my hand； and broke into
tears。 I write the truth。 Whatever contradictions and
inconsistencies there were within me； as there are within so many
of us； whatever might have been so different； and so much better；
whatever I had done； in which I had perversely wandered away
from the voice of my own heart； I knew nothing of。 I only knew
that I was fervently in earnest； when I felt the rest and peace of
having Agnes near me。
In her placid sisterly manner； with her beaming eyes； with her
tender voice； and with that sweet composure； which had long ago
made the house that held her quite a sacred place to me； she soon
won me from this weakness； and led me on to tell all that had
happened since our last meeting。
‘And there is not another word to tell； Agnes；’ said I； when I had
made an end of my confidence。 ‘Now； my reliance is on you。’
‘But it must not be on me； Trotwood；’ returned Agnes； with a
pleasant smile。 ‘It must be on someone else。’
‘On Dora？’ said I。
‘Assuredly。’
‘Why； I have not mentioned； Agnes；’ said I； a little embarrassed；
‘that Dora is rather difficult to—I would not； for the world； say； to
rely upon； because she is the soul of purity and truth—but rather
difficult to—I hardly know how to express it； really； Agnes。 She is
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
a timid little thing； and easily disturbed and frightened。 Some time
ago； before her father’s death； when I thought it right to mention
to her—but I’ll tell you； if you will bear with me； how it was。’
Accordingly； I told Agnes about my declaration of poverty；
about the cookery…book； the housekeeping accounts； and all the
rest of it。 ‘Oh； Trotwood！’ she remonstrated； with a smile。 ‘Just
your old headlong way！ You might have been in earnest in striving
to get on in the world； without being so very sudden with a timid；
loving； inexperienced girl。 Poor Dora！’
I never heard such sweet forbearing kindness expressed in a
voice； as she expressed in making this reply。 It was as if I had seen
her admiringly and tenderly embracing Dora； and tacitly
reproving me； by her considerate protection； for my hot haste in
fluttering that little heart。 It was as if I had seen Dora； in all her
fascinating artlessness； caressing Agnes； and thanking her； and
coaxingly appealing against me； and loving me with all her
childish innocence。
I felt so grateful to Agnes； and admired her so！ I saw those two
together； in a bright perspective； such well…associated friends；
each adorning the other so much！
‘What ought I to do then； Agnes？’ I inquired； after looking at the
fire a little while。 ‘What would it be right to do？’
‘I think；’ said Agnes； ‘that the honourable course to take； would
be to write to those two ladies。 Don’t you think that any secret
course is an unworthy one？’
‘Yes。 If you think so；’ said I。
‘I am poorly qualified to judge of such matters；’ replied Agnes；
with a modest hesitation； ‘but I certainly feel—in short； I feel that
your being secret and clandestine； is not being like yourself。’
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
‘Like myself； in the too high opinion you have of me； Agnes； I
am afraid；’ said I。
‘Like yourself； in the candour of your nature；’ she returned；
‘and therefore I would write to those two ladies。 I would relate； as
plainly and as openly as possible； all that has taken place； and I
would ask their permission to visit sometimes； at their house。
Considering that you are young； and striving for a place in life； I
think it would be well to say that you would readily abide by any
conditions they might impose upon you。 I would entreat them not
to dismiss your request； without a reference to Dora； and to
discuss it with her when they should think the time suitable。 I
would not be too vehement；’ said Agnes； gently； ‘or propose too
much。 I would trust to my fidelity and perseverance—and to Dora。’
‘But if they were to frighten Dora again； Agnes； by speaking to
her；’ said I。 ‘And if Dora were to cry； and say nothing about me！’
‘Is that likely？’ inquired Agnes； with the same sweet
consideration in her face。
‘God bless her； she is as easily scared as a bird；’ said I。 ‘It might
be！ Or if the two Miss Spenlows （elderly ladies of that sort are odd
characters sometimes） should not be likely persons to address in
that way！’
‘I don’t think； Trotwood；’ returned Agnes； raising her soft eyes
to mine； ‘I would consider that。 Perhaps it would be better only to
consider whether it is right to do this； and； if it is； to do it。’
I had no longer any doubt on the subject。 With a lightened
heart； though with a profound sense of the weighty importance of
my task； I devoted the whole afternoon to the composition of the
draft of this letter； for which great purpose； Agnes relinquished
her desk to me。 But first I went downstairs to see Mr。 Wickfield
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
and Uriah Heep。
I found Uriah in possession of a new； plaster…smelling office；
built out in the garden； looking extraordinarily mean； in the midst
of a quantity of books and papers。 He received me in his usual
fawning way； and pretended not to have heard of my arrival from
Mr。 Micawber； a pretence I took the liberty of disbelieving。 He
accompanied me into Mr。 Wickfield’s room； which was the shadow
of its former self—having been divested of a variety of
conveniences； for the accommodation of the new partner—and
stood before the fire； warming his back； and shaving his chin with
his bony hand； while Mr。 Wickfield and I exchanged greetings。
‘You stay with us； Trotwood； while you remain in Canterbury？’
said Mr。 Wickfield； not without a glance at Uriah for his approval。
‘Is there room for me？’ said I。
‘I am sure； Master Copperfield—I should say Mister； but the
other comes so natural；’ said Uriah；—’I would turn out of your old
room with pleasure； if it would be agreeable。’
‘No； no；’ said Mr。 Wickfield。 ‘Why should you be
inconvenienced？ There’s another room。 There’s another room。’
‘Oh； but you know；’ returned Uriah； with a grin； ‘I should really
be delighted！’
To cut the matter short； I said I would have the other room or
none at all； so it was settled that I should have the other room；
and； taking my leave of the firm until dinner； I went upstairs
again。
I had hoped to have no other companion than Agnes。 But Mrs。
Heep had asked permission to bring herself and her knitting near
the fire； in that room； on pretence of its having an aspect more
favourable for her rheumatics； as the wind then was； than the
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
drawing…room or dining…parlour。 Though I could almost have
consigned her to the mercies of the wind on the topmost pinnacle
of the Cathedral； without remorse； I made a virtue of necessity；
and gave her a friendly salutation。
‘I’m umbly thankful to you； sir；’ said Mrs。 Heep； in