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my heart； sobbing and crying all night—of her being alone；
frightened； and wretched； then—of her having so piteously begged
and prayed that stony…hearted woman to forgive her—of her
having vainly offered her those kisses； work…boxes； and trinkets—
of her being in such grievous distress； and all for me—very much
impaired the little dignity I had been able to muster。 I am afraid I
was in a tremulous state for a minute or so； though I did my best to
disguise it。
‘There is nothing I can say； sir；’ I returned； ‘except that all the
blame is mine。 Dora—’
‘Miss Spenlow； if you please；’ said her father； majestically。
‘—was induced and persuaded by me；’ I went on； swallowing
that colder designation； ‘to consent to this concealment； and I
bitterly regret it。’
‘You are very much to blame； sir；’ said Mr。 Spenlow； walking to
and fro upon the hearth…rug； and emphasizing what he said with
his whole body instead of his head； on account of the stiffness of
his cravat and spine。 ‘You have done a stealthy and unbecoming
action； Mr。 Copperfield。 When I take a gentleman to my house； no
matter whether he is nineteen； twenty…nine； or ninety； I take him
there in a spirit of confidence。 If he abuses my confidence； he
commits a dishonourable action； Mr。 Copperfield。’
‘I feel it； sir； I assure you；’ I returned。 ‘But I never thought so；
before。 Sincerely； honestly； indeed； Mr。 Spenlow； I never thought
so； before。 I love Miss Spenlow to that extent—’
‘Pooh！ nonsense！’ said Mr。 Spenlow； reddening。 ‘Pray don’t tell
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
me to my face that you love my daughter； Mr。 Copperfield！’
‘Could I defend my conduct if I did not； sir？’ I returned； with all
humility。
‘Can you defend your conduct if you do； sir？’ said Mr。 Spenlow；
stopping short upon the hearth…rug。 ‘Have you considered your
years； and my daughter’s years； Mr。 Copperfield？ Have you
considered what it is to undermine the confidence that should
subsist between my daughter and myself？ Have you considered
my daughter’s station in life； the projects I may contemplate for
her advancement； the testamentary intentions I may have with
reference to her？ Have you considered anything； Mr。
Copperfield？’
‘Very little； sir； I am afraid；’ I answered； speaking to him as
respectfully and sorrowfully as I felt； ‘but pray believe me； I have
considered my own worldly position。 When I explained it to you；
we were already engaged—’
‘I beg；’ said Mr。 Spenlow； more like Punch than I had ever seen
him； as he energetically struck one hand upon the other—I could
not help noticing that even in my despair； ‘that you Will not talk to
me of engagements； Mr。 Copperfield！’
The otherwise immovable Miss Murdstone laughed
contemptuously in one short syllable。
‘When I explained my altered position to you； sir；’ I began
again； substituting a new form of expression for what was so
unpalatable to him； ‘this concealment； into which I am so unhappy
as to have led Miss Spenlow； had begun。 Since I have been in that
altered position； I have strained every nerve； I have exerted every
energy； to improve it。 I am sure I shall improve it in time。 Will you
grant me time—any length of time？ We are both so young； sir；—’
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
‘You are right；’ interrupted Mr。 Spenlow； nodding his head a
great many times； and frowning very much； ‘you are both very
young。 It’s all nonsense。 Let there be an end of the nonsense。 Take
away those letters； and throw them in the fire。 Give me Miss
Spenlow’s letters to throw in the fire； and although our future
intercourse must； you are aware； be restricted to the Commons
here； we will agree to make no further mention of the past。 Come；
Mr。 Copperfield； you don’t want sense； and this is the sensible
course。’
No。 I couldn’t think of agreeing to it。 I was very sorry； but there
was a higher consideration than sense。 Love was above all earthly
considerations； and I loved Dora to idolatry； and Dora loved me。 I
didn’t exactly say so； I softened it down as much as I could； but I
implied it； and I was resolute upon it。 I don’t think I made myself
very ridiculous； but I know I was resolute。
‘Very well； Mr。 Copperfield；’ said Mr。 Spenlow； ‘I must try my
influence with my daughter。’
Miss Murdstone； by an expressive sound； a long drawn
respiration； which was neither a sigh nor a moan； but was like
both； gave it as her opinion that he should have done this at first。
‘I must try；’ said Mr。 Spenlow； confirmed by this support； ‘my
influence with my daughter。 Do you decline to take those letters；
Mr。 Copperfield？’ For I had laid them on the table。
Yes。 I told him I hoped he would not think it wrong； but I
couldn’t possibly take them from Miss Murdstone。
‘Nor from me？’ said Mr。 Spenlow。
No； I replied with the profoundest respect； nor from him。
‘Very well！’ said Mr。 Spenlow。
A silence succeeding； I was undecided whether to go or stay。 At
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
length I was moving quietly towards the door； with the intention of
saying that perhaps I should consult his feelings best by
withdrawing： when he said； with his hands in his coat pockets； into
which it was as much as he could do to get them； and with what I
should call； upon the whole； a decidedly pious air：
‘You are probably aware； Mr。 Copperfield； that I am not
altogether destitute of worldly possessions； and that my daughter
is my nearest and dearest relative？’
I hurriedly made him a reply to the effect； that I hoped the error
into which I had been betrayed by the desperate nature of my
love； did not induce him to think me mercenary too？
‘I don’t allude to the matter in that light；’ said Mr。 Spenlow。 ‘It
would be better for yourself； and all of us； if you were mercenary；
Mr。 Copperfield—I mean； if you were more discreet and less
influenced by all this youthful nonsense。 No。 I merely say； with
quite another view； you are probably aware I have some property
to bequeath to my child？’
I certainly supposed so。
‘And you can hardly think；’ said Mr。 Spenlow； ‘having
experience of what we see； in the Commons here； every day； of the
various unaccountable and negligent proceedings of men； in
respect of their testamentary arrangements—of all subjects； the
one on which perhaps the strangest revelations of human
inconsistency are to be met with—but that mine are made？’
I inclined my head in acquiescence。
‘I should not allow；’ said Mr。 Spenlow； with an evident increase
of pious sentiment； and slowly shaking his head as he poised
himself upon his toes and heels alternately； ‘my suitable provision
for my child to be influenced by a piece of youthful folly like the
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
present。 It is mere folly。 Mere nonsense。 In a little while； it will
weigh lighter than any feather。 But I might—I might—if this silly
business were not c