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out of the cart； Peggotty was making a most extraordinary festoon
of herself； but I felt too blank and strange to tell her so。 When she
had got down； she took me by the hand； led me； wondering； into
the kitchen； and shut the door。
‘Peggotty！’ said I； quite frightened。 ‘What’s the matter？’
‘Nothing’s the matter； bless you； Master Davy dear！’ she
answered； assuming an air of sprightliness。
‘Something’s the matter； I’m sure。 Where’s mama？’
‘Where’s mama； Master Davy？’ repeated Peggotty。
‘Yes。 Why hasn’t she come out to the gate； and what have we
come in here for？ Oh； Peggotty！’ My eyes were full； and I felt as if I
were going to tumble down。
‘Bless the precious boy！’ cried Peggotty； taking hold of me。
‘What is it？ Speak； my pet！’
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
‘Not dead； too！ Oh； she’s not dead； Peggotty？’
Peggotty cried out No！ with an astonishing volume of voice； and
then sat down； and began to pant； and said I had given her a turn。
I gave her a hug to take away the turn； or to give her another
turn in the right direction； and then stood before her； looking at
her in anxious inquiry。
‘You see； dear； I should have told you before now；’ said
Peggotty； ‘but I hadn’t an opportunity。 I ought to have made it；
perhaps； but I couldn’t azackly’—that was always the substitute
for exactly； in Peggotty’s militia of words—‘bring my mind to it。’
‘Go on； Peggotty；’ said I； more frightened than before。
‘Master Davy；’ said Peggotty； untying her bonnet with a shaking
hand； and speaking in a breathless sort of way。 ‘What do you
think？ You have got a Pa！’
I trembled； and turned white。 Something—I don’t know what；
or how—connected with the grave in the churchyard； and the
raising of the dead； seemed to strike me like an unwholesome
wind。
‘A new one；’ said Peggotty。
‘A new one？’ I repeated。
Peggotty gave a gasp； as if she were swallowing something that
was very hard； and； putting out her hand； said：
‘Come and see him。’
‘I don’t want to see him。’
—‘And your mama；’ said Peggotty。
I ceased to draw back； and we went straight to the best parlour；
where she left me。 On one side of the fire； sat my mother； on the
other； Mr。 Murdstone。 My mother dropped her work； and arose
hurriedly； but timidly I thought。
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
‘Now； Clara my dear；’ said Mr。 Murdstone。 ‘Recollect！ control
yourself； always control yourself！ Davy boy； how do you do？’
I gave him my hand。 After a moment of suspense； I went and
kissed my mother： she kissed me； patted me gently on the
shoulder； and sat down again to her work。 I could not look at her； I
could not look at him； I knew quite well that he was looking at us
both； and I turned to the window and looked out there； at some
shrubs that were drooping their heads in the cold。
As soon as I could creep away； I crept upstairs。 My old dear
bedroom was changed； and I was to lie a long way off。 I rambled
downstairs to find anything that was like itself； so altered it all
seemed； and roamed into the yard。 I very soon started back from
there； for the empty dog…kennel was filled up with a great dog—
deep mouthed and black…haired like Him—and he was very angry
at the sight of me； and sprang out to get at me。
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
Chapter 4
I FALL INTO DISGRACE
If the room to which my bed was removed were a sentient
thing that could give evidence； I might appeal to it at this
day—who sleeps there now； I wonder！—to bear witness for
me what a heavy heart I carried to it。 I went up there； hearing the
dog in the yard bark after me all the way while I climbed the
stairs； and； looking as blank and strange upon the room as the
room looked upon me； sat down with my small hands crossed； and
thought。
I thought of the oddest things。 Of the shape of the room； of the
cracks in the ceiling； of the paper on the walls； of the flaws in the
window…glass making ripples and dimples on the prospect； of the
washing…stand being rickety on its three legs； and having a
discontented something about it； which reminded me of Mrs。
Gummidge under the influence of the old one。 I was crying all the
time； but； except that I was conscious of being cold and dejected； I
am sure I never thought why I cried。 At last in my desolation I
began to consider that I was dreadfully in love with little Em’ly；
and had been torn away from her to come here where no one
seemed to want me； or to care about me； half as much as she did。
This made such a very miserable piece of business of it； that I
rolled myself up in a corner of the counterpane； and cried myself
to sleep。
I was awoke by somebody saying ‘Here he is！’ and uncovering
my hot head。 My mother and Peggotty had come to look for me；
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
and it was one of them who had done it。
‘Davy；’ said my mother。 ‘What’s the matter？’
I thought it was very strange that she should ask me； and
answered； ‘Nothing。’ I turned over on my face； I recollect； to hide
my trembling lip； which answered her with greater truth。 ‘Davy；’
said my mother。 ‘Davy； my child！’
I dare say no words she could have uttered would have affected
me so much； then； as her calling me her child。 I hid my tears in the
bedclothes； and pressed her from me with my hand； when she
would have raised me up。
‘This is your doing； Peggotty； you cruel thing！’ said my mother。
‘I have no doubt at all about it。 How can you reconcile it to your
conscience； I wonder； to prejudice my own boy against me； or
against anybody who is dear to me？ What do you mean by it；
Peggotty？’
Poor Peggotty lifted up her hands and eyes； and only answered；
in a sort of paraphrase of the grace I usually repeated after dinner；
‘Lord forgive you； Mrs。 Copperfield； and for what you have said
this minute； may you never be truly sorry！’
‘It’s enough to distract me；’ cried my mother。 ‘In my
honeymoon； too； when my most inveterate enemy might relent；
one would think； and not envy me a little peace of mind and
happiness。 Davy； you naughty boy！ Peggotty； you savage creature！
Oh； dear me！’ cried my mother； turning from one of us to the
other； in her pettish wilful manner； ‘what a troublesome world this
is； when one has the most right to expect it to be as agreeable as
possible！’
I felt the touch of a hand that I knew was neither hers nor
Peggotty’s； and slipped to my feet at the bed…side。 It was Mr。
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
Murdstone’s hand； and he kept it on my arm as he said：
‘What’s this？ Clara； my love； have you forgotten？—Firmness；
my dear！’
‘I am very sorry； Edward；’ said my mother。 ‘I meant to be very
good； but I am so uncomfortable。’
‘Indeed！’ he answered。 ‘That’s a bad hearing； so soon； Clara。’
‘I say it’s very hard I should be made so now；’ returned my
mother； pouting； ‘and it is—very