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and a long way off。 The theatre？ To be sure。 The very thing。 Come
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
along！ But they must excuse me if I saw everybody out first； and
turned the lamp off—in case of fire。
Owing to some confusion in the dark； the door was gone。 I was
feeling for it in the window…curtains； when Steerforth； laughing；
took me by the arm and led me out。 We went downstairs； one
behind another。 Near the bottom； somebody fell； and rolled down。
Somebody else said it was Copperfield。 I was angry at that false
report； until； finding myself on my back in the passage； I began to
think there might be some foundation for it。
A very foggy night； with great rings round the lamps in the
streets！ There was an indistinct talk of its being wet。 I considered
it frosty。 Steerforth dusted me under a lamp…post； and put my hat
into shape； which somebody produced from somewhere in a most
extraordinary manner； for I hadn’t had it on before。 Steerforth
then said； ‘You are all right； Copperfield； are you not？’ and I told
him； ‘Neverberrer。’
A man； sitting in a pigeon…hole…place； looked out of the fog； and
took money from somebody； inquiring if I was one of the
gentlemen paid for； and appearing rather doubtful （as I remember
in the glimpse I had of him） whether to take the money for me or
not。 Shortly afterwards； we were very high up in a very hot
theatre； looking down into a large pit； that seemed to me to smoke；
the people with whom it was crammed were so indistinct。 There
was a great stage； too； looking very clean and smooth after the
streets； and there were people upon it； talking about something or
other； but not at all intelligibly。 There was an abundance of bright
lights； and there was music； and there were ladies down in the
boxes； and I don’t know what more。 The whole building looked to
me as if it were learning to swim； it conducted itself in such an
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
unaccountable manner； when I tried to steady it。
On somebody’s motion； we resolved to go downstairs to the
dress…boxes； where the ladies were。 A gentleman lounging； full
dressed； on a sofa； with an opera…glass in his hand； passed before
my view； and also my own figure at full length in a glass。 Then I
was being ushered into one of these boxes； and found myself
saying something as I sat down； and people about me crying
‘Silence！’ to somebody； and ladies casting indignant glances at me；
and—what！ yes！—Agnes； sitting on the seat before me； in the same
box； with a lady and gentleman beside her； whom I didn’t know。 I
see her face now； better than I did then； I dare say； with its
indelible look of regret and wonder turned upon me。
‘Agnes！’ I said； thickly； ‘Lorblessmer！ Agnes！’
‘Hush！ Pray！’ she answered； I could not conceive why。 ‘You
disturb the company。 Look at the stage！’
I tried； on her injunction； to fix it； and to hear something of
what was going on there； but quite in vain。 I looked at her again by
and by； and saw her shrink into her corner； and put her gloved
hand to her forehead。
‘Agnes！’ I said。 ‘I’mafraidyou’renorwell。’
‘Yes； yes。 Do not mind me； Trotwood；’ she returned。 ‘Listen！
Are you going away soon？’
‘Amigoarawaysoo？’ I repeated。
‘Yes。’
I had a stupid intention of replying that I was going to wait； to
hand her downstairs。 I suppose I expressed it； somehow； for after
she had looked at me attentively for a little while； she appeared to
understand； and replied in a low tone： ‘I know you will do as I ask
you； if I tell you I am very earnest in it。 Go away now； Trotwood；
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
for my sake； and ask your friends to take you home。’
She had so far improved me； for the time； that though I was
angry with her； I felt ashamed； and with a short ‘Goori！’ （which I
intended for ‘Good night！’） got up and went away。 They followed；
and I stepped at once out of the box…door into my bedroom； where
only Steerforth was with me； helping me to undress； and where I
was by turns telling him that Agnes was my sister； and adjuring
him to bring the corkscrew； that I might open another bottle of
wine。
How somebody； lying in my bed； lay saying and doing all this
over again； at cross purposes； in a feverish dream all night—the
bed a rocking sea that was never still！ How； as that somebody
slowly settled down into myself； did I begin to parch； and feel as if
my outer covering of skin were a hard board； my tongue the
bottom of an empty kettle； furred with long service； and burning
up over a slow fire； the palms of my hands； hot plates of metal
which no ice could cool！
But the agony of mind； the remorse； and shame I felt when I
became conscious next day！ My horror of having committed a
thousand offences I had forgotten； and which nothing could ever
expiate—my recollection of that indelible look which Agnes had
given me—the torturing impossibility of communicating with her；
not knowing； Beast that I was； how she came to be in London； or
where she stayed—my disgust of the very sight of the room where
the revel had been held—my racking head—the smell of smoke；
the sight of glasses； the impossibility of going out； or even getting
up！ Oh； what a day it was！
Oh； what an evening； when I sat down by my fire to a basin of
mutton broth； dimpled all over with fat； and thought I was going
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
the way of my predecessor； and should succeed to his dismal story
as well as to his chambers； and had half a mind to rush express to
Dover and reveal all！ What an evening； when Mrs。 Crupp； coming
in to take away the broth…basin； produced one kidney on a cheese…
plate as the entire remains of yesterday’s feast； and I was really
inclined to fall upon her nankeen breast and say； in heartfelt
penitence； ‘Oh； Mrs。 Crupp； Mrs。 Crupp； never mind the broken
meats！ I am very miserable！’—only that I doubted； even at that
pass； if Mrs。 Crupp were quite the sort of woman to confide in！
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
Chapter 25
GOOD AND BAD ANGELS
Iwas going out at my door on the morning after that
deplorable day of headache； sickness； and repentance； with
an odd confusion in my mind relative to the date of my
dinner…party； as if a body of Titans had taken an enormous lever
and pushed the day before yesterday some months back； when I
saw a ticket…porter coming upstairs； with a letter in his hand。 He
was taking his time about his errand； then； but when he saw me
on the top of the staircase； looking at him over the banisters； he
swung into a trot； and came up panting as if he had run himself
into a state of exhaustion。
‘T。 Copperfield； Esquire；’ said the ticket…porter； touching his hat
with his little cane。
I could scarcely lay claim to the name： I was so disturbed by the
conviction that the letter came from Agnes。 However； I told him I
was T。 Copperfield； Esquire； and he believed it； and gave me th