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could I？ I have some public spirit left。 And besides； I expect to build
on Grant Avenue myself。〃
〃And leave here？〃
〃Oh； it's too grubby； it's in the slums；〃 said Nancy。 〃But I really owe
you a debt of gratitude； Hugh； for the Scherers。〃
〃I'm told Adolf's lost his head over you。〃
〃It's not only over me； but over everything。 He's so ridiculously proud
of being on the board of the Children's Hospital。。。。 You ought to hear
him talking to old Mrs。 Ogilvy； who of course can't get used to him at
all；she always has the air of inquiring what he's doing in that galley。
She still thinks of him as Mr。 Durrett's foreman。〃
The time flew。 Her presence was like a bracing； tingling atmosphere in
which I felt revived and exhilarated； self…restored。 For Nancy did not
questionshe took me as I was。 We looked out on the world； as it were；
from the same window； and I could not help thinking that ours； after all；
was a large view。 The topics didn't matterour conversation was
fragrant with intimacy； and we were so close to each other it seemed
incredible that we ever should be parted again。 At last the little clock
on the mantel chimed an hour； she started and looked up。
〃Why； it's seven； Hugh！〃 she exclaimed； rising。 〃I'd no idea it was so
late； and I'm dining with the Dickinsons。 I've only just time to dress。〃
〃It's been like a reunion； hasn't it？a reunion after many years；〃 I
said。 I held her hand unconsciouslyshe seemed to be drawing me to her；
I thought she swayed； and a sudden dizziness seized me。 Then she drew
away abruptly； with a little cry。 I couldn't be sure about the cry；
whether I heard it or not； a note was struck in the very depths of me。
〃Come in again；〃 she said； 〃whenever you're not too busy。〃 And a minute
later I found myself on the street。
This was the beginning of a new intimacy with Nancy； resembling the old
intimacy yet differing from it。 The emotional note of our parting on the
occasion I have just related was not again struck； and when I went
eagerly to see her again a few days later I was conscious of
limitations；not too conscious： the freedom she offered and which I
gladly accepted was a large freedom； nor am I quite sure that even I
would have wished it larger； though there were naturally moments when I
thought so： when I asked myself what I did wish； I found no answer。
Though I sometimes chafed； it would have been absurd of me to object to a
certain timidity or caution I began to perceive in her that had been
absent in the old Nancy； but the old Nancy had ceased to exist； and here
instead was a highly developed； highly specialized creature in whom I
delighted； and after taking thought I would not have robbed her of fine
acquired attribute。 As she had truly observed； we were both
conventional； conventionality was part of the price we had willingly paid
for membership in that rarer world we had both achieved。 It was a world；
to be sure； in which we were rapidly learning to take the law into our
own hands without seeming to defy it； in order that the fear of it might
remain in those less fortunately placed and endowed： we had begun with
the appropriation of the material property of our fellow…citizens； which
we took legally； from this point it was； of course； merely a logical step
to takelegally； too other gentlemen's human propertytheir wives； in
short： the more progressive East had set us our example； but as yet we
had been chary to follow it。
About this time rebellious voices were beginning to make themselves heard
in the literary wilderness proclaiming libertyliberty of the sexes。
There were Russian novels and French novels； and pioneer English novels
preaching liberty with Nietzschean stridency； or taking it for granted。
I picked these up on Nancy's table。
〃Reading them？〃 she said； in answer to my query。 〃Of course I'm reading
them。 I want to know what these clever people are thinking； even if I
don't always agree with them； and you ought to read them too。 It's quite
true what foreigners say about our men；that they live in a groove； that
they haven't any range of conversation。〃
〃I'm quite willing to be educated；〃 I replied。 〃I haven't a doubt that I
need it。〃
She was leaning back in her chair； her hands behind her head； a posture
she often assumed。 She looked up at me amusedly。
〃I'll acknowledge that you're more teachable than most of them；〃 she
said。 〃Do you know； Hugh； sometimes you puzzle me greatly。 When you are
here and we're talking together I can never think of you as you are out
in the world； fighting for powerand getting it。 I suppose it's part of
your charm； that there is that side of you； but I never consciously
realize it。 You're what they call a dual personality。〃
〃That's a pretty hard name！〃 I exclaimed。
She laughed。
〃I can't help ityou are。 Oh； not disagreeably so； quite normally
that's the odd thing about you。 Sometimes I believe that you were made
for something different； that in spite of your success you have missed
your 'metier。'〃
〃What ought I to have been？〃
〃How can I tell？ A Goethe； perhapsa Goethe smothered by a twentieth…
century environment。 Your love of adventure isn't dead； it's been merely
misdirected； real adventure； I mean； forth faring； straying into unknown
paths。 Perhaps you haven't yet found yourself。〃
〃How uncanny！〃 I said； stirred and startled。
〃You have a taste for literature； you know； though you've buried it。
Give me Turgeniev。 We'll begin with him。。。。〃
Her reading and the talks that followed it were exciting； amazingly
stimulating。。。。 Once Nancy gave me an amusing account of a debate which
had taken place in the newly organized woman's discussion club to which
she belonged over a rather daring book by an English novelist。 Mrs。
Dickinson had revolted。
〃No； she wasn't really shocked； not in the way she thought she was；〃 said
Nancy； in answer to a query of mine。
〃How was she shocked； then？〃
〃As you and I are shocked。〃
〃But I'm not shocked；〃 I protested。
〃Oh； yes； you are； and so am Inot on the moral side； nor is it the
moral aspect that troubles Lula Dickinson。 She thinks it's the moral
aspect； but it's really the revolutionary aspect； the menace to those
precious institutions from which we derive our privileges and comforts。〃
I considered this； and laughed。
〃What's the use of being a humbug about it；〃 said Nancy。
〃But you're talking like a revolutionary；〃 I said。
〃I may be talking like one； but I'm not one。 I once had the makings of
oneof a good one；a 'proper' one； as the English would say。〃 She
sighed。
〃You regret it？〃 I asked curiously。
〃Of course I regret it！〃 she cried。 〃What woman worth her salt doesn't
regret it； doesn't want to live； even if she has to suffer for it？ And
those peoplethe revolutionaries； I mean； the rebelsthey live； they're
the only ones who do live。 The rest of us degenerate in a painless
paralysis we think of as pleasure。 Look at me！ I'm incapable of
committing a single original act； even though I might conceive one。
Well； there was a time when I should have been equal to anything and
wouldn't have cared aa damn。〃
I believed her。。。。
I fe