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characterized her； 〃but he isn't a person easily forgotten。 He may be
queer； one may not agree with his views； but after the experience I had
with him I've never been able to look at him in the way George does； for
instance； or even as father does。〃
〃Or even as I do；〃 I supplied。
〃Well； perhaps not even as you do；〃 she answered calmly。 〃I believe you
once told me； however； that you thought him a fanatic； but sincere。〃
〃He's certainly a fanatic！〃 I exclaimed。
〃But sincere； Hugh…you still think him sincere。〃
〃You seem a good deal concerned about a man you've laid eyes on but
once。〃
She considered this。
〃Yes； it is surprising；〃 she admitted； 〃but it's true。 I was sorry for
him； but I admired him。 I was not only impressed by his courage in
taking charge of me； but also by the trust and affection the work…people
showed。 He must be a good man； however mistaken he may be in the methods
he employs。 And life is cruel to those people。〃
〃Life is…life；〃 I observed。 〃Neither you nor I nor Krebs is able to
change it。〃
〃Has he come here to practice？〃 she asked； after a moment。
〃Yes。 Do you want me to invite him to dinner？〃 and seeing that she did
not reply I continued： 〃In spite of my explanation I suppose you think；
because Krebs defended the man Galligan； that a monstrous injustice has
been done。〃
〃That is unworthy of you；〃 she said； bending over her stitch。
I began to pace the room again； as was my habit when overwrought。
〃Well； I was going to tell you about this affair if you had not
forestalled me by mentioning it yourself。 It isn't pleasant to be
vilified by rascals who make capital out of vilification； and a man has a
right to expect some sympathy from his wife。〃
〃Did I ever deny you that； Hugh？〃 she asked。 〃Only you don't ever seem
to need it； to want it。〃
〃And there are things；〃 I pursued； 〃things in a man's province that a
woman ought to accept from her husband； things which in the very nature
of the case she can know nothing about。〃
〃But a woman must think for herself；〃 she declared。 〃She shouldn't
become a mere automaton；and these questions involve so much！ People
are discussing them； the magazines and periodicals are beginning to take
them up。〃
I stared at her； somewhat appalled by this point of view。 There had；
indeed； been signs of its development before now； but I had not heeded
them。 And for the first time I beheld Maude in a new light。
〃Oh； it's not that I don't trust you；〃 she continued； 〃I'm open to
conviction； but I must be convinced。 Your explanation of this Galligan
case seems a sensible one； although it's depressing。 But life is hard
and depressing sometimes I've come to realize that。 I want to think over
what you've said； I want to talk over it some more。 Why won't you tell
me more of what you are doing？ If you only would confide in meas you
have now！ I can't help seeing that we are growing farther and farther
apart； that business； your career； is taking all of you and leaving me
nothing。〃 She faltered； and went on again。 〃It's difficult to tell you
thisyou never give me the chance。 And it's not for my sake alone； but
for yours； too。 You are growing more and more self…centred； surrounding
yourself with a hard shell。 You don't realize it； but Tom notices it；
Perry notices it； it hurts them； it's that they complain of。 Hugh！〃 she
cried appealingly； sensing my resentment； forestalling the words of
defence ready on my lips。 〃I know that you are busy； that many men
depend on you； it isn't that I'm not proud of you and your success； but
you don't understand what a woman craves；she doesn't want only to be a
good housekeeper； a good mother； but she wants to share a little； at any
rate； in the life of her husband； in his troubles as well as in his
successes。 She wants to be of some little use； of some little help to
him。〃
My feelings were reduced to a medley。
〃But you are a help to mea great help；〃 I protested。
She shook her head。 〃I wish I were；〃 she said。
It suddenly occurred to me that she might be。 I was softened； and
alarmed by the spectacle she had revealed of the widening breach between
us。 I laid my hand on her shoulder。
〃Well； I'll try to do better； Maude。〃
She looked up at me； questioningly yet gratefully； through a mist of
tears。 But her replywhatever it might have beenwas forestalled by
the sound of shouts and laughter in the hallway。 She sprang up and ran
to the door。
〃It's the children；〃 she exclaimed； 〃they've come home from Susan's
party！〃
It begins indeed to look as if I were writing this narrative upside down；
for I have said nothing about children。 Perhaps one reason for this
omission is that I did not really appreciate them； that I found it
impossible to take the same minute interest in them as Tom； for instance；
who was； apparently； not content alone with the six which he possessed；
but had adopted mine。 One of them； little Sarah； said 〃Uncle Tom〃 before
〃Father。〃 I do not mean to say that I had not occasional moments of
tenderness toward them； but they were out of my thoughts much of the
time。 I have often wondered； since； how they regarded me； how； in their
little minds； they defined the relationship。 Generally； when I arrived
home in the evening I liked to sit down before my study fire and read the
afternoon newspapers or a magazine； but occasionally I went at once to
the nursery for a few moments； to survey with complacency the medley of
toys on the floor； and to kiss all three。 They received my caresses with
a certain shynessthe two younger ones； at least； as though they were at
a loss to place me as a factor in the establishment。 They tumbled over
each other to greet Maude； and even Tom。 If I were an enigma to them；
what must they have thought of him？ Sometimes I would discover him on
the nursery floor； with one or two of his own children； building towers
and castles and railroad stations； or forts to be attacked and demolished
by regiments of lead soldiers。 He was growing comfortable…looking； if
not exactly stout； prematurely paternal； oddly willing to renounce the
fiercer joys of life； the joys of acquisition； of conquest； of youth。
〃You'd better come home with me； Chickabiddy；〃 he would say； 〃that father
of yours doesn't appreciate you。 He's too busy getting rich。〃
〃Chickabiddy；〃 was his name for little Sarah。 Half of the name stuck to
her； and when she was older we called her Biddy。
She would gaze at him questioningly； her eyes like blue flower cups； a
strange little mixture of solemnity and bubbling mirth； of shyness and
impulsiveness。 She had fat legs that creased above the tops of the
absurd little boots that looked to be too tight； sometimes she rolled and
tumbled in an ecstasy of abandon； and again she would sit motionless； as
though absorbed in dreams。 Her hair was like corn silk in the sun；
twisting up into soft curls after her bath； when she sat rosily presiding
over her supper table。
As I look back over her early infancy； I realize that I loved her；
although it is impossible for me to say how much of this love is
retrospective。 Why I was not mad about her every hour of the