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The maid had brought in the tray。 Afternoon tea was still rather a new
custom with us； more of a ceremony than a meal； and as Nancy handed me my
cup and the thinnest of slices of bread and butter I found the intimacy
of the situation a little disquieting。 Her manner was indeed intimate；
and yet it had the odd and disturbing effect of making her seem more
remote。 As she chatted I answered her perfunctorily； while all the time
I was asking myself why I had ceased to desire her； whether the old
longing for her might not returnwas not even now returning？ I might
indeed go far afield to find a wife so suited to me as Nancy。 She had
beauty； distinction； and position。 She was a woman of whom any man might
be proud。。。。
〃I haven't congratulated you yet； Hugh；〃 she said suddenly； 〃now that you
are a partner of Mr。 Watling's。 I hear on all sides that you are on the
high road to a great success。〃
〃Of course I'm glad to be in the firm；〃 I admitted。
It was a new tack for Nancy； rather a disquieting one； this discussion of
my affairs； which she had so long avoided or ignored。 〃You are getting
what you have always wanted； aren't you？〃
I wondered in some trepidation whether by that word 〃always〃 she was
making a deliberate reference to the past。
〃Always？〃 I repeated； rather fatuously。
〃Nearly always； ever since you have been a man。〃
I was incapable of taking advantage of the opening； if it were one。 She
was baffling。
〃A man likes to succeed in his profession； of course；〃 I said。
〃And you made up your mind to succeed more deliberately than most men。 I
needn't ask you if you are satisfied； Hugh。 Success seems to agree with
you；although I imagine you will never be satisfied。〃
〃Why do you say that？〃 I demanded。
〃I haven't known you all your life for nothing。 I think I know you much
better than you know yourself。〃
〃You haven't acted as if you did；〃 I exclaimed。
She smiled。
〃Have you been interested in what I thought about you？〃 she asked。
〃That isn't quite fair； Nancy；〃 I protested。 〃You haven't given me much
evidence that you did think about me。〃
〃Have I received much encouragement to do so？〃 she inquired。
〃But you haven't seemed to inviteyou've kept me at arm's length。〃
〃Oh； don't fence！〃 she cried； rather sharply。
I had become agitated； but her next words gave me a shock that was
momentarily paralyzing。
〃I asked you to come here to…day； Hugh； because I wished you to know that
I have made up my mind to marry Hambleton Durrett。〃
〃Hambleton Durrett！〃 I echoed stupidly。 〃Hambleton Durrett！〃
〃Why not？〃
〃Have youhave you accepted him？〃
〃No。 But I mean to do so。〃
〃Youyou love him？〃
〃I don't see what right you have to ask。〃
〃But you just said that you invited me here to talk frankly。〃
〃No； I don't love him。〃
〃Then why； in heaven's name； are you going to marry him？〃
She lay back in her chair； regarding me； her lips slightly parted。 All
at once the full flavour of her； the superfine quality was revealed after
years of blindness。Nor can I describe the sudden rebellion； the
revulsion that I experienced。 Hambleton Durrett！ It was an outrage； a
sacrilege！ I got up； and put my hand on the mantel。 Nancy remained
motionless； inert； her head lying back against the chair。 Could it be
that she were enjoying my discomfiture？ There is no need to confess that
I knew next to nothing of women； had I been less excited； I might have
made the discovery that I still regarded them sentimentally。 Certain
romantic axioms concerning them； garnered from Victorian literature；
passed current in my mind for wisdom； and one of these declared that they
were prone to remain true to an early love。 Did Nancy still care for me？
The query； coming as it did on top of my emotion； brought with it a
strange and overwhelming perplexity。 Did I really care for her？ The
many years during which I had practised the habit of caution began to
exert an inhibiting pressure。 Here was a situation； an opportunity
suddenly thrust upon me which might never return； and which I was utterly
unprepared to meet。 Would I be happy with Nancy； after all？ Her
expression was still enigmatic。
〃Why shouldn't I marry him？〃 she demanded。
〃Because he's not good enough for you。〃
〃Good！〃 she exclaimed； and laughed。 〃He loves me。 He wants me without
reservation or calculation。〃 There was a sting in this。 〃And is he any
worse；〃 she asked slowly； 〃than many others who might be mentioned？〃
〃No；〃 I agreed。 I did not intend to be led into the thankless and
disagreeable position of condemning Hambleton Durrett。 〃But why have you
waited all these years if you did not mean to marry a man of ability； a
man who has made something of himself？〃
〃A man like you； Hugh？〃 she said gently。
I flushed。
〃That isn't quite fair； Nancy。〃
〃What are you working for？〃 she suddenly inquired； straightening up。
〃What any man works for； I suppose。〃
〃Ah； there you have hit it；what any man works for in our world。
Power；personal power。 You want to be somebody；isn't that it？ Not
the noblest ambition； you'll have to admit；not the kind of thing we
used to dream about； when we did dream。 Well； when we find we can't
realize our dreams； we take the next best thing。 And I fail to see why
you should blame me for taking it when you yourself have taken it。
Hambleton Durrett can give it to me。 He'll accept me on my own terms； he
won't interfere with me； I shan't be disillusionized；and I shall have a
position which I could not hope to have if I remained unmarried； a very
marked position as Hambleton Durrett's wife。 I am thirty； you know。〃
Her frankness appalled me。
〃The trouble with you； Hugh； is that you still deceive yourself。 You
throw a glamour over things。 You want to keep your cake and eat it too。
〃I don't see why you say that。 And marriage especially〃
She took me up。
〃Marriage！ What other career is open to a woman？ Unless she is married；
and married well； according to the money standard you men have set up；
she is nobody。 We can't all be Florence Nightingales； and I am unable to
imagine myself a Julia Ward Howe or a Harriet Beecher Stowe。 What is
left？ Nothing but marriage。 I'm hard and cynical； you will say； but I
have thought； and I'm not afraid； as I have told you； to look things in
the face。 There are very few women； I think； who would not take the real
thing if they had the chance before it were too late； who wouldn't be
willing to do their own cooking in order to get it。〃
She fell silent suddenly。 I began to pace the room。
〃For God's sake； don't do this； Nancy！〃 I begged。
But she continued to stare into the fire； as though she had not heard me。
〃If you had made up your mind to do it； why did you tell me？〃 I asked。
〃Sentiment； I suppose。 I am paying a tribute to what I once was； to what
you once were；〃 she said。 Aa sort of good…bye to sentiment。〃
〃Nancy！〃 I said hoarsely。
She shook her head。
〃No； Hugh。 Surely you can't misjudge me so！〃 she answered reproachfully。
〃Do you think I should have sent for you if I had meantthat！〃
〃No； no； I didn't think so。 But why not？ Youyou cared onc