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attitude； a vantage point apparently gained by contact with that
mysterious outer world which thus vicariously had laid its spell on me；
I was tremendously struck by the thought that to achieve this attitude
meant emancipation； invulnerability against the aches and pains which
otherwise our fellow…beings had the power to give us； mastery over life；
the ability to choose calmly； as from a height； what were best for one's
self； untroubled by loves and hates。 Untroubled by loves and hates！ At
that very moment； paradoxically； I loved her madly； but with a love not
of the old quality； a love that demanded a vantage point of its own。
Even though she had made an advanceand some elusiveness in her manner
led me to doubt it I could not go to her now。 I must go as a conqueror；
a conqueror in the lists she herself had chosen； where the prize is
power。
〃Oh； I'm getting along pretty well；〃 I said。 〃At any rate； they don't
complain of me。〃
〃Somehow；〃 she ventured； 〃somehow it's hard to think of you as a business
man。〃
I took this for a reference to the boast I had made that I would go to
college。
〃Business isn't so bad as it might be；〃 I assured her。
〃I think a man ought to go away to college；〃 she declared； in what seemed
another tone。 〃He makes friends； learns certain things；it gives him
finish。 We are very provincial here。〃
Provincial！ I did not stop to reflect how recently she must have
acquired the word； it summed up precisely the self…estimate at which I
had arrived。 The sting went deep。 Before I could think of an effective
reply Nancy was being carried off by the young man from the East； who was
clearly infatuated。 He was not provincial。 She smiled back at me
brightly over his shoulder。。。。 In that instant were fused in one
resolution all the discordant elements within me of aspiration and
discontent。 It was not so much that I would show Nancy what I intended
to doI would show myself； and I felt a sudden elation； and accession of
power that enabled me momentarily to despise the puppets with whom she
danced。。。。 From this mood I was awakened with a start to feel a hand on
my shoulder； and I turned to confront her father； McAlery Willett； a
gregarious； easygoing； pleasure…loving gentleman who made only a pretence
of business； having inherited an ample fortune from his father； unique
among his generation in our city in that he paid some attention to
fashion in his dress； good living was already beginning to affect his
figure。 His mellow voice had a way of breaking an octave。
〃Don't worry； my boy；〃 he said。 〃You stick to business。 These college
fellows are cocks of the walk just now； but some day you'll be able to
snap your fingers at all of 'em。〃
The next day was dark； overcast； smoky； damp…the soft； unwholesome
dampness that follows a spell of hard frost。 I spent the morning and
afternoon on the gloomy third floor of Breck and Company； making a list
of the stock。 I remember the place as though I had just stepped out of
it； the freight elevator at the back； the dusty； iron columns； the
continuous piles of cases and bags and barrels with narrow aisles between
them； the dirty windows； spotted and soot…streaked； that looked down on
Second Street。 I was determined now to escape from all this； and I had
my plan in mind。
No sooner had I swallowed my supper that evening than I set out at a
swift pace for a modest residence district ten blocks away； coming to a
little frame house set back in a yard；one of those houses in which the
ringing of the front door…bell produces the greatest commotion；
children's voices were excitedly raised and then hushed。 After a brief
silence the door was opened by a pleasant…faced； brown…bearded man； who
stood staring at me in surprise。 His hair was rumpled； he wore an old
house coat with a hole in the elbow； and with one finger he kept his
place in the book which he held in his hand。
〃Hugh Paret！〃 he exclaimed。
He ushered me into a little parlour lighted by two lamps； that bore every
evidence of having been recently vacated。 Its features somehow bespoke a
struggle for existence； as though its occupants had worried much and
loved much。 It was a room best described by the word 〃home〃home made
more precious by a certain precariousness。 Toys and school…books strewed
the floor； a sewing…bag and apron lay across the sofa； and in one corner
was a roll…topped desk of varnished oak。 The seats of the chairs were
comfortably depressed。
So this was where Mr。 Wood lived！ Mr。 Wood； instructor in Latin and
Greek at Densmore Academy。 It was now borne in on me for the first time
that he did live and have his ties like any other human being； instead of
just appearing magically from nowhere on a platform in a chalky room at
nine every morning； to vanish again in the afternoon。 I had formerly
stood in awe of his presence。 But now I was suddenly possessed by an
embarrassment； and （shall I say it？） by a commiseration bordering on
contempt for a man who would consent to live thus for the sake of being a
schoolteacher。 How strange that civilization should set such a high
value on education and treat its functionaries with such neglect！
Mr。 Wood's surprise at seeing me was genuine。 For I had never shown a
particular interest in him； nor in the knowledge which he strove to
impart。
〃I thought you had forgotten me； Hugh；〃 he said； and added whimsically：
〃most boys do； when they graduate。〃
I felt the reproach； which made it the more difficult for me to state my
errand。
〃I knew you sometimes took pupils in the evening； Mr。 Wood。〃
〃Pupils；yes；〃 he replied； still eyeing me。 Suddenly his eyes twinkled。
He had indeed no reason to suspect me of thirsting for learning。 〃But I
was under the impression that you had gone into business； Hugh。〃
〃The fact is； sir；〃 I explained somewhat painfully； 〃that I am not
satisfied with business。 I feelas if I ought to know more。 And I came
to see if you would give me lessons about three nights a week； because I
want to take the Harvard examinations next summer。〃
Thus I made it appear； and so persuaded myself； that my ambition had been
prompted by a craving for knowledge。 As soon as he could recover himself
he reminded me that he had on many occasions declared I had a brain。
〃Your father must be very happy over this decision of yours；〃 he said。
That was the point； I told him。 It was to be a surprise for my father； I
was to take the examinations first； and inform him afterwards。
To my intense relief； Mr。 Wood found the scheme wholly laudable； and
entered into it with zest。 He produced examinations of preceding years
from a pigeonhole in his desk； and inside of half an hour the arrangement
was made； the price of the lessons settled。 They were well within my
salary； which recently had been raised。。。。
When I went down town； or collecting bills for Breck and Company； I took
a text…book along with me in the street…cars。 Now at last I had behind
my studies a driving force。 Algebra； Latin； Greek and history became
worth while； means to an end。 I astonished Mr。 Wood； and sometimes he
would tilt back his chair； take off his spectacles a