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that you do。 I should never be able to forgive myself if I stayed away
now； Ineither of us could ever be happy about it。 You do see； don't
you？〃 she implored。
〃Yes；〃 I admitted agitatedly。
Her grasp on my hand tightened。
〃I knew you would。 But it makes me happier to hear you say it。〃
We sat for a moment in helpless silence； gazing at one another。 Slowly
her eyes had filled。
〃Have you heard anything more？〃 I managed to ask。
She drew a telegram from her bag； as though the movement were a relief。
〃This is from the doctor in Bostonhis name is Magruder。 They have got
Ham there； it seems。 A horse kicked him in the head； after he fell；he
had just recovered consciousness。〃
I took the telegram。 The wordy seemed meaningless； all save those of the
last sentence。 〃The situation is serious； but by no means hopeless。〃
Nancy had not spoken of that。 The ignorant cruelty of its convention！
The man must have known what Hambleton Durrett was！ Nancy read my
thoughts； and took the paper from my hand。
〃Hugh； dear； if it's hard for you； try to understand that it's terrible
for me to think that he has any claim at all。 I realize now； as I never
did before； how wicked it was in me to marry him。 I hate him； I can't
bear the thought of going near him。〃
She fell into wild weeping。 I tried to comfort her； who could not
comfort myself； I don't remember my inadequate words。 We were
overwhelmed； obliterated by the sense of calamity。。。。 It was she who
checked herself at last by an effort that was almost hysterical。
〃I mustn't yield to it！〃 she said。 〃It's time to leave and the train
goes at six。 No； you mustn't come to the station； HughI don't think I
could stand it。 I'll send you a telegram。〃 She rose。 〃You must go now
you must。〃
〃You'll come back to me？〃 I demanded thickly； as I held her。
〃Hugh； I am yours； now and always。 How can you doubt it？〃
At last I released her； when she had begged me again。 And I found myself
a little later walking past the familiar； empty houses of those
streets。。。。
The front pages of the evening newspapers announced the accident to
Hambleton Durrett； and added that Mrs。 Durrett； who had been lingering in
the city； had gone to her husband's bedside。 The morning papers
contained more of biography and ancestry； but had little to add to the
bulletin； and there was no lack of speculation at the Club and elsewhere
as to Ham's ability to rally from such a shock。 I could not bear to
listen to these comments： they were violently distasteful to me。 The
unforeseen accident and Nancy's sudden departure had thrown my life
completely out of gear： I could not attend to business； I dared not go
away lest the news from Nancy be delayed。 I spent the hours in an
exhausting mental state that alternated between hope and fear； a state of
unmitigated； intense desire； of balked realization； sometimes heightening
into that sheer terror I had felt when I had detected over the telephone
that note in her voice that seemed of despair。 Had she had a
presentiment； all along； that something would occur to separate us？ As I
went back over the hours we had passed together since she had
acknowledged her love； in spite of myself the conviction grew on me that
she had never believed in the reality of our future。 Indeed； she had
expressed her disbelief in words。 Had she been looking all along for a
signa sign of wrath？ And would she accept this accident of Ham's as
such？
Retrospection left me trembling and almost sick。
It was not until the second morning after her departure that I received a
telegram giving the name of her Boston hotel； and saying that there was
to be a consultation that day； and as soon as it had taken place she
would write。 Such consolation as I could gather from it was derived from
four words at the end；she missed me dreadfully。 Some tremor of pity
for her entered into my consciousness； without mitigating greatly the
wildness of my resentment； of my forebodings。
I could bear no longer the city； the Club； the office； the daily contact
with my associates and clients。 Six hours distant； near Rossiter； was a
small resort in the mountains of which I had heard。 I telegraphed Nancy
to address me there； notified the office； packed my bag； and waited
impatiently for midday； when I boarded the train。 At seven I reached a
little station where a stage was waiting to take me to Callender's Mill。
It was not until morning that I beheld my retreat； when little wisps of
vapour were straying over the surface of the lake； and the steep green
slopes that rose out of the water on the western side were still in
shadow。 The hotel； a much overgrown and altered farm…house； stood；
surrounded by great trees； in an ancient clearing that sloped gently to
the water's edge； where an old…fashioned； octagonal summerhouse
overlooked a landing for rowboats。 The resort； indeed； was a survival of
simpler times。。。。
In spite of the thirty…odd guests； people of very moderate incomes who
knew the place and had come here year after year； I was as much alone as
if I had been the only sojourner。 The place was so remote； so peaceful
in contrast to the city I had left； which had become intolerable。 And at
night； during hours of wakefulness； the music of the waters falling over
the dam was soothing。 I used to walk down there and sit on the stones of
the ruined mill； or climb to the crests on the far side of the pond to
gaze for hours westward where the green billows of the Alleghenies lost
themselves in the haze。 I had discovered a new country； here； when our
trials should be over； I would bring Nancy； and I found distraction in
choosing sites for a bungalow。 In my soul hope flowered with little
watering。 Uncertain news was good news。 After two days of an impatience
all but intolerable； her first letter arrived； I learned that the
specialists had not been able to make a diagnosis； and I began to take
heart again。 At times； she said； Ham was delirious and difficult to
manage； at other times he sank into a condition of coma； and again he
seemed to know her and Ralph； who had come up from Southampton； where he
had been spending the summer。 One doctor thought that Ham's remarkable
vitality would pull him through； in spite of what his life had been。 The
shockas might have been surmisedhad affected the brain。。。。 The
letters that followed contained no additional news； she did not dwell on
the depressing reactions inevitable from the situation in which she found
herselfone so much worse than mine； she expressed a continual longing
for me； and yet I had trouble to convince myself that they did not lack
the note of reassurance for which I strained as I eagerly scanned them
of reassurance that she had no intention of permitting her husband's
condition to interfere with that ultimate happiness on which it seemed my
existence depended。 I tried to account for the absence of this note by
reflecting that the letters were of necessity brief； hurriedly scratched
off at odd moments； and a natural delicacy would prevent her from
referring to our future at such a time。 They recorded no change in Ham's
condition save that t