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with the wisdom of the ages in her eyes； seeking my hand with a gesture
that was almost maternal。
〃You and the poets；〃 she said； 〃you never grow up。 I suppose that's the
reason why we love youand these wonderful visions of freedom you have。
Anyway； it's nice to dream； to recreate the world as one would like to
have it。〃
〃But that's what you and I are doing；〃 I insisted。
〃We think we're doing itor rather you think so；〃 she replied。 〃And
sometimes； I admit that you almost persuade me to think so。 Never quite。
What disturbs me；〃 she continued； 〃is to find you and the poets founding
your new freedom on new justifications； discarding the old law only to
make a new one；as though we could ever get away from necessities；
escape from disagreeable things； except in dreams。 And then； this
delusion of believing that we are masters of our own destiny〃 She
paused and pressed my fingers。
〃There you go…back to predestination！〃 I exclaimed。
〃I don't go back to anything； or forward to anything；〃 she exclaimed。
〃Women are elemental； but I don't expect you to understand it。 Laws and
codes are foreign to us； philosophies and dreams may dazzle us for the
moment； but what we feel underneath and what we yield to are the primal
forces； the great necessities； when we refuse joys it's because we know
these forces by a sort of instinct； when we're overcome it's with a full
knowledge that there's a price。 You've talked a great deal； Hugh； about
carving out our future。 I listened to you； but I resisted you。 It
wasn't the morality that was taught me as a child that made me resist； it
was something deeper than that； more fundamental； something I feel but
can't yet perceive； and yet shall perceive some day。 It isn't that I'm
clinging to the hard and fast rules because I fail to see any others； it
isn't that I believe that all people should stick together whether they
are happily married or not； butI must say it even nowI have a feeling
I can't define that divorce isn't for us。 I'm not talking about right
and wrong in the ordinary senseit's just what I feel。 I've ceased to
think。〃
〃Nancy！〃 I reproached her。
〃I can't help itI don't want to be morbid。 Do you remember my asking
you about God？the first day this began？ and whether you had a god？
Well； that's the trouble with us all to…day； we haven't any God； we're
wanderers； drifters。 And now it's just life that's got hold of us； my
dear； and swept us away together。 That's our justificationif we needed
oneit's been too strong for us。〃 She leaned back against the tree and
closed her eyes。 〃We're like chips in the torrent of it； Hugh。〃。。。。
It was not until the shadow of the forest had crept far across the lake
and the darkening waters were still that we rose reluctantly to put the
dishes in the tea basket and start on our homeward journey。 The tawny
fires of the sunset were dying down behind us； the mist stealing；
ghostlike； into the valleys below； in the sky a little moon curled like a
freshly cut silver shaving； that presently turned to gold； the white star
above it to fire。
Where the valleys widened we came to silent； decorous little towns and
villages where yellow…lit windows gleaming through the trees suggested
refuge and peace； while we were wanderers in the night。 It was Nancy's
mood； and now； in the evening's chill； it recurred to me poignantly。 In
one of these villages we passed a church； its doors flung open； the
congregation was singing a familiar hymn。 I slowed down the car； I felt
her shoulder pressing against my own； and reached out my hand and found
hers。
〃Are you warm enough？〃 I asked。。。。
We spoke but little on that drive； we had learned the futility of words
to express the greater joys and sorrows； the love that is compounded of
these。
It was late when we turned in between the white dates and made our way up
the little driveway to the farmhouse。 I bade her good night on the steps
of the porch。
〃You do love me； don't you？〃 she whispered； clinging to me with a sudden；
straining passion。 〃You will love me； always no matter what happens？〃
〃Why； of course； Nancy；〃 I answered。
〃I want to hear you say it； 'I love you； I shall love you always。'〃
I repeated it fervently。。。。
〃No matter what happens？〃
〃No matter what happens。 As if I could help it； Nancy！ Why are you so
sad to…night？〃
〃Ah； Hugh； it makes me sadI can't tell why。 It is so great； it is so
terrible； and yet it's so sweet and beautiful。〃
She took my face in her hands and pressed a kiss against my forehead。。。。
The next day was dark。 At two o'clock in the afternoon the electric
light was still burning over my desk when the telephone rang and I heard
Nancy's voice。
〃Is that you； Hugh？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃I have to go East this afternoon。〃
〃Why？〃 I asked。 Her agitation had communicated itself to me。 〃I thought
you weren't going until Thursday。 What's the matter？〃
〃I've just had a telegram；〃 she said。 〃Ham's been hurtI don't know how
badlyhe was thrown from a polo pony this morning at Narragansett； in
practice； and they're taking him to Boston to a private hospital。 The
telegram's from Johnny Shephard。 I'll be at the house in town at four。〃
Filled with forebodings I tried in vain to suppress I dropped the work I
was doing and got up and paced the room； pausing now and again to gaze
out of the window at the wet roofs and the grey skies。 I was aghast at
the idea of her going to Ham now even though he were hurt badly hurt； and
yet I tried to think it was natural； that it was fine of her to respond
to such a call。 And she couldn't very well refuse his summons。 But it
was not the news of her husband's accident that inspired the greater
fear； which was quelled and soothed only to rise again when I recalled
the note I had heard in her voice； a note eloquent of tragedyof tragedy
she had foreseen。 At length； unable to remain where I was any longer； I
descended to the street and walked uptown in the rain。 The Durrett house
was closed； the blinds of its many windows drawn； but Nancy was watching
for me and opened the door。 So used had I grown to seeing her in the
simple linen dresses she had worn in the country； a costume associated
with exclusive possession； that the sight of her travelling suit and hat
renewed in me an agony of apprehension。 The unforeseen event seemed to
have transformed her once more。 Her veil was drawn up； her face was
pale； in her eyes were traces of tears。
〃You're going？〃 I asked； as I took her hands。
〃Hugh； I have to go。〃
She led me through the dark； shrouded drawing room into the little salon
where the windows were open on the silent city…garden。 I took her in my
arms； she did not resist； as I half expected； but clung to me with what
seemed desperation。
〃I have to go； dearyou won't make it too hard for me！ It's only
ordinary decency； and there's no one else to go to him。〃
She drew me to the sofa； her eyes beseeching me。
〃Listen； dear； I want you to see it as I see it。 I know that you will；
that you do。 I should never be able to forgive myself if I stayed away
now； Ineither of us could ever be happy about it。 You do see； don't
you？