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paradoxically halted there； Nancy clung to her demand for new sanctions
with a tenacity that amazed and puzzled and often irritated me。 And yet；
when I look back upon it all； I can see that some of the difficulty lay
with me： if she had her weaknesswhich she acknowledgedI had mineand
kept it to myself。 It was part of my romantic nature not to want to
break her down。 Perhaps I loved the ideal better than the woman herself；
though that scarcely seems possible。
We saw each other constantly。 And though we had instinctively begun to
be careful； I imagine there was some talk among our acquaintances。 It is
to be noted that the gossip never became riotous； for we had always been
friends； and Nancy had a saving reputation for coldness。 It seemed
incredible that Maude had not discovered my secret； but if she knew of
it； she gave no sign of her knowledge。 Often； as I looked at her； I
wished she would。 I can think of no more expressive sentence in regard
to her than the trite one that she pursued the even tenor of her way； and
I found the very perfection of her wifehood exasperating。 Our
relationship would； I thought； have been more endurable if we had
quarrelled。 And yet we had grown as far apart； in that big house； as
though we had been separated by a continent； I lived in my apartments；
she in hers； she consulted me about dinner parties and invitations； for；
since we had moved to Grant Avenue； we entertained and went out more than
before。 It seemed as though she were making every effort consistent with
her integrity and self…respect to please me。 Outwardly she conformed to
the mould； but I had long been aware that inwardly a person had
developed。 It had not been a spontaneous development； but one in
resistance to pressure； and was probably all the stronger for that
reason。 At times her will revealed itself in astonishing and unexpected
flashes； as when once she announced that she was going to change
Matthew's school。
〃He's old enough to go to boarding…school；〃 I said。 〃I'll look up a
place for him。〃
〃I don't wish him to go to boarding…school yet； Hugh；〃 she said quietly。
〃But that's just what he needs；〃 I objected。 〃He ought to have the
rubbing…up against other boys that boarding…school will give him。
Matthew is timid； he should have learned to take care of himself。 And he
will make friendships that will help him in a larger school。〃
〃I don't intend to send him；〃 Maude said。
〃But if I think it wise？〃
〃You ought to have begun to consider such things many years ago。 You
have always been toobusy to think of the children。 You have left them
to me。 I am doing the best I can with them。〃
〃But a man should have something to say about boys。 He understands
them。〃
〃You should have thought of that before。〃
〃They haven't been old enough。〃
〃If you had taken your share of responsibility for them； I would listen
to you。〃
〃Maude！〃 I exclaimed reproachfully。
〃No； Hugh；〃 she went on； 〃you have been too busymaking money。 You have
left them tome。 It is my task to see that the money they are to inherit
doesn't ruin them。〃
〃You talk as though it were a great fortune；〃 I said。
But I did not press the matter。 I had a presentiment that to press it
might lead to unpleasant results。
It was this sense of not being free； of having gained everything but
freedom that was at times galling in the extreme： this sense of living
with a woman for whom I had long ceased to care； a woman with a baffling
will concealed beneath an unruffled and serene exterior。 At moments I
looked at her across the table； she did not seem to have aged much： her
complexion was as fresh； apparently； as the day when I had first walked
with her in the garden at Elkington； her hair the same wonderful colour；
perhaps she had grown a little stouter。 There could be no doubt about
the fact that her chin was firmer； that certain lines had come into her
face indicative of what is called character。 Beneath her pliability she
was now all firmness； the pliability had become a mockery。 It cannot be
said that I went so far as to hate her for this；when it was in my
mind；but my feelings were of a strong antipathy。 And then again there
were rare moments when I was inexplicably drawn to her； not by love and
passion； I melted a little in pity； perhaps； when my eyes were opened and
I saw the tragedy； yet I am not referring now to such feelings as these。
I am speaking of the times when I beheld her as the blameless companion
of the years； the mother of my children； the woman I was used to and
shouldby all canons I had knownhave loved。。。。
And there were the children。 Days and weeks passed when I scarcely saw
them； and then some little incident would happen to give me an unexpected
wrench and plunge me into unhappiness。 One evening I came home from a
long talk with Nancy that had left us both wrought up； and I had entered
the library before I heard voices。 Maude was seated under the lamp at
the end of the big room reading from 〃Don Quixote〃； Matthew and Biddy
were at her feet； and Moreton； less attentive； at a little distance was
taking apart a mechanical toy。 I would have tiptoed out； but Biddy
caught sight of me。
〃It's father！〃 she cried； getting up and flying to me。
〃Oh； father； do come and listen！ The story's so exciting； isn't it；
Matthew？〃
I looked down into the boy's eyes shining with an expression that
suddenly pierced my heart with a poignant memory of myself。 Matthew was
far away among the mountains and castles of Spain。
〃Matthew；〃 demanded his sister； 〃why did he want to go fighting with all
those people？〃
〃Because he was dotty；〃 supplied Moreton； who had an interesting habit of
picking up slang。
〃It wasn't at all；〃 cried Matthew； indignantly； interrupting Maude's
rebuke of his brother。
〃What was it； then？〃 Moreton demanded。
〃You wouldn't understand if I told you；〃 Matthew was retorting； when
Maude put her hand on his lips。
〃I think that's enough for to…night；〃 she said； as she closed the book。
〃There are lessons to doand father wants to read his newspaper in
quiet。〃
This brought a protest from Biddy。
〃Just a little more； mother！ Can't we go into the schoolroom？ We shan't
disturb father there。〃
〃I'll read to thema few minutes；〃 I said。
As I took the volume from her and sat down Maude shot at me a swift look
of surprise。 Even Matthew glanced at me curiously； and in his glance I
had； as it were； a sudden revelation of the boy's perplexity concerning
me。 He was twelve； rather tall for his age； and the delicate modelling
of his face resembled my father's。 He had begun to think。。 What did he
think of me？
Biddy clapped her hands； and began to dance across the carpet。
〃Father's going to read to us； father's going to read to us；〃 she cried；
finally clambering up on my knee and snuggling against me。
〃Where is the place？〃 I asked。
But Maude had left the room。 She had gone swiftly and silently。
〃I'll find it；〃 said Moreton。
I began to read； but I scarcely knew what I was reading； my fingers
tightening over Biddy's little knee。。。。
Presently Miss Allsop； the governess； came in。 She had been se