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the diary of an old soul-第15章

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It fascinates the bird that darkling sings;
And numbs the little prayer…bird's beating wings。
For how believe thee somewhere in blank space;
If through the darkness come no knocking to our door?

4。

If we might sit until the darkness go;
Possess our souls in patience perhaps we might;
But there is always something to be done;
And no heart left to do it。 To and fro
The dull thought surges; as the driven waves fight
In gulfy channels。 Oh! victorious one;
Give strength to rise; go out; and meet thee in the night。

5。

〃Wake; thou that sleepest; rise up from the dead;
And Christ will give thee light。〃 I do not know
What sleep is; what is death; or what is light;
But I am waked enough to feel a woe;
To rise and leave death。 Stumbling through the night;
To my dim lattice; O calling Christ! I go;
And out into the dark look for thy star…crowned head。

6。

There are who come to me; and write; and send;
Whom I would love; giving good things to all;
But friendthat name I cannot on them spend;
'Tis from the centre of self…love they call
For cherishingfor which they first must know
How to be still; and take the seat that's low:
When; Lord; shall I be fitwhen wilt thou call me friend?

7。

Wilt thou not one day; Lord? In all my wrong;
Self…love and weakness; laziness and fear;
This one thing I can say: I am content
To be and have what in thy heart I am meant
To be and have。 In my best times I long
After thy will; and think it glorious…dear;
Even in my worst; perforce my will to thine is bent。

8。

My God; I look to thee for tenderness
Such as I could not seek from any man;
Or in a human heart fancy or plan
A something deepest prayer will not express:
Lord; with thy breath blow on my being's fires;
Until; even to the soul with self…love wan;
I yield the primal love; that no return desires。

9。

Only no word of mine must ever foster
The self that in a brother's bosom gnaws;
I may not fondle failing; nor the boaster
Encourage with the breath of my applause。
Weakness needs pity; sometimes love's rebuke;
Strength only sympathy deserves and draws
And grows by every faithful loving look。

10。

'Tis but as men draw nigh to thee; my Lord;
They can draw nigh each other and not hurt。
Who with the gospel of thy peace are girt;
The belt from which doth hang the Spirit's sword;
Shall breathe on dead bones; and the bones shall live;
Sweet poison to the evil self shall give;
And; clean themselves; lift men clean from the mire abhorred。

11。

My Lord; I have no clothes to come to thee;
My shoes are pierced and broken with the road;
I am torn and weathered; wounded with the goad;
And soiled with tugging at my weary load:
The more I need thee! A very prodigal
I stagger into thy presence; Lord of me:
One look; my Christ; and at thy feet I fall!

12。

Why should I still hang back; like one in a dream;
Who vainly strives to clothe himself aright;
That in great presence he may seemly seem?
Why call up feeling?dress me in the faint;
Worn; faded; cast…off nimbus of some saint?
Why of old mood bring back a ghostly gleam
While there He waits; love's heart and loss's blight!

13。

Son of the Father; elder brother mine;
See thy poor brother's plight; See how he stands
Defiled and feeble; hanging down his hands!
Make me clean; brother; with thy burning shine;
》From thy rich treasures; householder divine;
Bring forth fair garments; old and new; I pray;
And like thy brother dress me; in the old home…bred way。

14。

My prayer…bird was coldwould not away;
Although I set it on the edge of the nest。
Then I bethought me of the story old
Love…fact or loving fable; thou know'st best
How; when the children had made sparrows of clay;
Thou mad'st them birds; with wings to flutter and fold:
Take; Lord; my prayer in thy hand; and make it pray。

15。

My poor clay…sparrow seems turned to a stone;
And from my heart will neither fly nor run。
I cannot feel as thou and I both would;
But; Father; I am willingmake me good。
What art thou father for; but to help thy son?
Look deep; yet deeper; in my heart; and there;
Beyond where I can feel; read thou the prayer。

16。

Oh what it were to be right sure of thee!
Sure that thou art; and the same as thy son; Jesus!
Oh; faith is deeper; wider than the sea;
Yea; than the blue of heaven that ever flees us!
Yet simple as the cry of sore…hurt child;
Or as his shout; with sudden gladness wild;
When home from school he runs; till morn set free。

17。

If I were sure thou; Father; verily art;
True father of the Nazarene as true;
Sure as I am of my wife's shielding heart;
Sure as of sunrise in the watching blue;
Sure as I am that I do eat and drink;
And have a heart to love and laugh and think;
Meseems in flame the joy might from my body start。

18。

But I must know thee in a deeper way
Than any of these ways; or know thee not;
My heart at peace far loftier proof must lay
Than if the wind thou me the wave didst roll;
Than if I lay before thee a sunny spot;
Or knew thee as the body knows its soul;
Or even as the part doth know its perfect whole。

19。

There is no word to tell how I must know thee;
No wind clasped ever a low meadow…flower
So close that as to nearness it could show thee;
No rainbow so makes one the sun and shower。
A something with thee; I am a nothing fro' thee。
Because I am not save as I am in thee;
My soul is ever setting out to win thee。

20。

I know not howfor that I first must know thee。
I know I know thee not as I would know thee;
For my heart burns like theirs that did not know him;
Till he broke bread; and therein they must know him。
I know thee; knowing that I do not know thee;
Nor ever shall till one with me I know thee
Even as thy son; the eternal man; doth know thee。

21。

Creation under me; in; and above;
Slopes upward from the base; a pyramid;
On whose point I shall stand at last; and love。
》From the first rush of vapour at thy will;
To the last poet…word that darkness chid;
Thou hast been sending up creation's hill;
To lift thy souls aloft in faithful Godhead free。

22。

I think my thought; and fancy I think thee。
Lord; wake me up; rend swift my coffin…planks;
I pray thee; let me livealive and free。
My soul will break forth in melodious thanks;
Aware at last what thou wouldst have it be;
When thy life shall be light in me; and when
My life to thine is answer and amen。

23。

How oft I say the same things in these lines!
Even as a man; buried in during dark;
Turns ever where the edge of twilight shines;
Prays ever towards the vague eternal mark;
Or as the sleeper; having dreamed he drinks;
Back straightway into thirstful dreaming sinks;
So turns my will to thee; for thee still longs; still pines。

24。

The mortal man; all careful; wise; and troubled;
The eternal child in the nursery doth keep。
To…morrow on to…day the man heaps doubled;
The child laughs; hopeful; even in his sleep。
The man rebukes the child for foolish trust;
The child replies; 〃Thy care is for poor dust;
Be still; and let me wake that thou mayst sleep。〃

25。

Till I am one; with oneness manifold;
I must breed contradiction; strife; and doubt;
Things tr
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