友情提示:如果本网页打开太慢或显示不完整,请尝试鼠标右键“刷新”本网页!阅读过程发现任何错误请告诉我们,谢谢!! 报告错误
飞读中文网 返回本书目录 我的书架 我的书签 TXT全本下载 进入书吧 加入书签

the magic skin-第3章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!




his eyes; but he unclosed them again at once; and the red color

returned as he affected the airs of an Englishman; to whom life can

offer no new sensation; and disappeared without the glance full of

entreaty for compassion that a desperate gamester will often give the

bystanders。 How much can happen in a second's space; how many things

depend on a throw of the die!



〃That was his last cartridge; of course;〃 said the croupier; smiling

after a moment's silence; during which he picked up the coin between

his finger and thumb and held it up。



〃He is a cracked brain that will go and drown himself;〃 said a

frequenter of the place。 He looked round about at the other players;

who all knew each other。



〃Bah!〃 said a waiter; as he took a pinch of snuff。



〃If we had but followed HIS example;〃 said an old gamester to the

others; as he pointed out the Italian。



Everybody looked at the lucky player; whose hands shook as he counted

his bank…notes。



〃A voice seemed to whisper to me;〃 he said。 〃The luck is sure to go

against that young man's despair。〃



〃He is a new hand;〃 said the banker; 〃or he would have divided his

money into three parts to give himself more chance。〃



The young man went out without asking for his hat; but the old

watch…dog; who had noted its shabby condition; returned it to him

without a word。 The gambler mechanically gave up the tally; and went

downstairs whistling Di tanti Palpiti so feebly; that he himself

scarcely heard the delicious notes。



He found himself immediately under the arcades of the Palais…Royal;

reached the Rue Saint Honore; took the direction of the Tuileries; and

crossed the gardens with an undecided step。 He walked as if he were in

some desert; elbowed by men whom he did not see; hearing through all

the voices of the crowd one voice alonethe voice of Death。 He was

lost in the thoughts that benumbed him at last; like the criminals who

used to be taken in carts from the Palais de Justice to the Place de

Greve; where the scaffold awaited them reddened with all the blood

spilt here since 1793。



There is something great and terrible about suicide。 Most people's

downfalls are not dangerous; they are like children who have not far

to fall; and cannot injure themselves; but when a great nature is

dashed down; he is bound to fall from a height。 He must have been

raised almost to the skies; he has caught glimpses of some heaven

beyond his reach。 Vehement must the storms be which compel a soul to

seek for peace from the trigger of a pistol。



How much young power starves and pines away in a garret for want of a

friend; for lack of a woman's consolation; in the midst of millions of

fellow…creatures; in the presence of a listless crowd that is burdened

by its wealth! When one remembers all this; suicide looms large。

Between a self…sought death and the abundant hopes whose voices call a

young man to Paris; God only knows what may intervene; what contending

ideas have striven within the soul; what poems have been set aside;

what moans and what despair have been repressed; what abortive

masterpieces and vain endeavors! Every suicide is an awful poem of

sorrow。 Where will you find a work of genius floating above the seas

of literature that can compare with this paragraph:



  〃Yesterday; at four o'clock; a young woman threw herself into the

  Seine from the Pont des Arts。〃



Dramas and romances pale before this concise Parisian phrase; so must

even that old frontispiece; The Lamentations of the glorious king of

Kaernavan; put in prison by his children; the sole remaining fragment

of a lost work that drew tears from Sterne at the bare perusalthe

same Sterne who deserted his own wife and family。



The stranger was beset with such thoughts as these; which passed in

fragments through his mind; like tattered flags fluttering above the

combat。 If he set aside for a moment the burdens of consciousness and

of memory; to watch the flower heads gently swayed by the breeze among

the green thickets; a revulsion came over him; life struggled against

the oppressive thought of suicide; and his eyes rose to the sky: gray

clouds; melancholy gusts of the wind; the stormy atmosphere; all

decreed that he should die。



He bent his way toward the Pont Royal; musing over the last fancies of

others who had gone before him。 He smiled to himself as he remembered

that Lord Castlereagh had satisfied the humblest of our needs before

he cut his throat; and that the academician Auger had sought for his

snuff…box as he went to his death。 He analyzed these extravagances;

and even examined himself; for as he stood aside against the parapet

to allow a porter to pass; his coat had been whitened somewhat by the

contact; and he carefully brushed the dust from his sleeve; to his own

surprise。 He reached the middle of the arch; and looked forebodingly

at the water。



〃Wretched weather for drowning yourself;〃 said a ragged old woman; who

grinned at him; 〃isn't the Seine cold and dirty?〃



His answer was a ready smile; which showed the frenzied nature of his

courage; then he shivered all at once as he saw at a distance; by the

door of the Tuileries; a shed with an inscription above it in letters

twelve inches high: THE ROYAL HUMANE SOCIETY'S APPARATUS。



A vision of M。 Dacheux rose before him; equipped by his philanthropy;

calling out and setting in motion the too efficacious oars which break

the heads of drowning men; if unluckily they should rise to the

surface; he saw a curious crowd collecting; running for a doctor;

preparing fumigations; he read the maundering paragraph in the papers;

put between notes on a festivity and on the smiles of a ballet…dancer;

he heard the francs counted down by the prefect of police to the

watermen。 As a corpse; he was worth fifteen francs; but now while he

lived he was only a man of talent without patrons; without friends;

without a mattress to lie on; or any one to speak a word for hima

perfect social cipher; useless to a State which gave itself no trouble

about him。



A death in broad daylight seemed degrading to him; he made up his mind

to die at night so as to bequeath an unrecognizable corpse to a world

which had disregarded the greatness of life。 He began his wanderings

again; turning towards the Quai Voltaire; imitating the lagging gait

of an idler seeking to kill time。 As he came down the steps at the end

of the bridge; his notice was attracted by the second…hand books

displayed on the parapet; and he was on the point of bargaining for

some。 He smiled; thrust his hands philosophically into his pockets;

and fell to strolling on again with a proud disdain in his manner;

when he heard to his surprise some coin rattling fantastically in his

pocket。



A smile of hope lit his face; and slid from his lips over his

features; over his brow; and brought a joyful light to his eyes and

his dark cheeks。 It was a spark of happiness like one of the red dots

that f
返回目录 上一页 下一页 回到顶部 0 0
未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
温馨提示: 温看小说的同时发表评论,说出自己的看法和其它小伙伴们分享也不错哦!发表书评还可以获得积分和经验奖励,认真写原创书评 被采纳为精评可以获得大量金币、积分和经验奖励哦!